Bleeding Hearts
Image #21
Word Count: 3,073
Rating: M
Summary: With a broken heart Bella finds away to make herself feel better, even though the outcome hurts everyone else.

Bella awoke from her dream in a cold sweat; she had been having the same dream every night since that day in the forest, ever since he left her. She looked at the time on her alarm clock… 2am. She never got any sleep anymore, because every time she closed her eyes she'd dream of the words he spoke in the forest.

"I don't want to be with you anymore."

She didn't know that there was a hidden meaning behind them. She didn't understand the lie behind the words he spoke. All she understood was one thing, he didn't want me.

For the past few months she had tried her hardest to get over this but she couldn't. She loved Edward heart and soul and once he left he took both of those things with him. Everyone told her that if she would just talk about it with someone and get it all out she'd feel better. But she didn't know who would understand how much she was hurting. Well yes she did, she knew one person but she had left too, her best friend Alice, Edward's sister was gone, leaving her completely with no one to talk to.

Bella sighed and got out of bed, there was no way she could go back to sleep now. She told her dad she would go to school. Bella now knew that she would never be able to face the kids at forks high. Bella was tired of fighting it, trying to hide the pain, she was through living like this so she let the pain completely take over. She was giving in to the misery and heartache.

She walked towards the bathroom and she knew what she had to do. She made up her mind that everyone would be better off without her, that the world without Isabella Swan would be a better place. She was just useless and disposable.

Bella was now standing inside the bathroom staring at the girl in the mirror. Her eyes were dull and lifeless her hair no longer held the shine that it once did. The girl in the mirror wasn't beautiful, she wasn't loved or loveable. She was forgettable. He forgot her, he left her, he didn't love her, he never loved her.

No, she didn't truly believe that. She knew that in the beginning Edward had loved her. The night of the accident is when every thing started to change. She knew Edward felt the accident was his fault but he couldn't have done anything different. The weather was bad that night and the roads were too slick and he lost control. It wasn't that he didn't think she wasn't beautiful enough or loveable enough. It was fear that drove him away and she hated him for being so weak. For not letting her decide what she wanted. He should have just let her die that night instead of saving her. She thought about the blood that ran through her veins now. How he gave her his blood knowing that is what kept her alive she realized how much she didn't want it. It was a reminder of all the reasons he wanted to be kept away from her. And she hated it. Hated him for pushing her away.

With that in mind Bella knew what she had to do. She reached inside the medicine cabinet and grabbed one of her razors. Bella had given up all hope she knew nothing in this world would make her as happy as she was with the Cullen's. Without them, without him, there was no need to go on anymore. The life she had wanted the one she had chosen as hers was taken away from her. There wasn't any other type of life worth living.

Taking the razor she made the first cut on her skin. She watched as the blood left her… dripped down her body and hit the floor. The same blood that ran through Edward's veins the only thing she had left to remind her of him. She wanted it gone… out of her body, out of her life. She wanted to get rid of it for good. So, without thinking, she made another cut into her skin and then another until she had more then enough cuts she smiled smugly into the mirror as she watch all the blood leave her body.

Knowing that it was too late now, that Edward would never come back and sure that he was to busy with his "distractions" to care about her she stood on the tub and placed the rope around her neck. Having nothing else to live for she took the first step towards the end of the tub. Just as she was barely standing on the edge she took what would be her final breath of this world and called out Edward's name and stepped off the edge of the tub.

She finally did it, she rid of herself of the one thing that connected her to him. The proof dripped out of her body and down the front of the tub and finally onto the bathroom floor.

There was no longer any of Edward's blood inside of her.

Charlie had just finished his shift at work and was more then ready to get home. He knew Bella was there all by herself and he hated leaving her alone. She hadn't been the same since the Cullen's left, since that boy broke her heart. He had never really liked Edward Cullen, never thought he was good enough for Bella but this only proved him right. That boy left his baby girl a girl that he swore he loved more then life itself without even a phone call or a letter and he hated him for it.

He walked in to his home placed his gun belt on the hook by the door. He was tired from working and just wanted to wash up and crawl into his bed for a nap. He walked passed his daughters door and opened it and peeked in the lights were off and she wasn't in her bed. He thought that she had finally woken up enough to return back to school like he asked her and was relived by that thought.

Closing his door, he walked into his room where the only bathroom in the house was located and noticed the light on under the door he was confused. He was sure he left the light off. "Maybe Bella forgot to turn it off," He thought to himself when he reached for the door he froze when he realized it was locked. Bella was supposed to be at school

He started to get a bad feeling, not that feeling that comes from him being a cop. This one came from being a parent. Panicking Charlie knocked on the door but he didn't get an answer. He threw his weight against it trying to break it down.

He knew something behind that door was wrong. That, when he finally got in there it was going to be bad. What he didn't expect however, was that he would find the lifeless body of his daughter hanging from the ceiling with multiple cuts all over her and a pool of her blood at her feet running down the side of the bathtub, a suicide note lying next to the tub on the floor.

Today was the day; Edward had been barely living for these last six months since he left her in the woods. All he could see anywhere he went was the face of Isabella Swan. The truest love of all of his life. He knew she was it for him. He would never love anyone like he loved her. He lied to her that day when he left her telling her he didn't want her, making her believe he didn't love her. It hurt him so bad walking away but at the time he thought it would be what was best for her.

The accident had been his entire fault, he was so careless and reckless she almost lost her life because of him. She deserved someone so much better then him. She could fall in love again with someone much better then him, someone who would take better care of her. He was sure she was so easy to love, anyone would be a fool not to want her. He still wanted her and thinking about someone else loving her hurt so much. Thinking about that he knew what he had to do. As much as he knew that it was for the best to leave her, he couldn't stay away anymore. He was going back to her. He was going to do whatever he could to get her to take him back. He wouldn't run anymore he wanted her back and he prayed she felt the same.

Now more then ever he knew there was no way he could live without her. With a firm plan in place he went home towards the one person he knew could help me.

"Alice," He said busting through the front door of the house where his family had been living in Denali, he couldn't contain his excitement he had finally made up his mind and he knew as soon as he told Alice that she would be happy to help.

"What is it Edward? I'm watching America's Next Top Model." Alice said. She wasn't looking at him but she could hear the excitement in his voice she hadn't heard it since they left Forks and left Bella behind. Alice missed her too so much, she was her best friend. He felt so bad that he kept them apart from each other they were best of friends and He was sure losing both him and Alice was very hard on Bella but he had hoped that he could finally make it right. He'd explain everything to her and pray that she would forgive him for ever leaving her side in the first place.

"Did you think she will take me back Alice, how do you think this is going to turn out" He asked her frantically he desperately needed to know that everything was going to turn out alright.

"Umm, I don't really know Edward but I do know that Bella really loved you and you don't just get over that kind of love. The fact that you're going back for her and once you explain why you left she might forgive you, but I have no clue I don't want to get your hopes up but you at least have to try." Alice was so happy that she could go back to her best friend. She missed Bella so much. She never wanted to leave her back in forks alone. Edward had wanted that and even though it hurt her to do so she went along with what he wanted. So many times she had started to go back and say screw what Edward wanted but she knew that she couldn't go against him. He had his reasons for leaving Bella and as stupid as it was, the choice was his and she had to respect that.

She knew when she got back that Edward wasn't going to be the only one who had to ask for forgiveness where Bella was concerned. Alice couldn't imagine what it was like for her losing the love of her life and not having anyone to talk about it with, a friend who would understand. None of that mattered at the moment though, she knew that they could make it right and be friends again. She had faith that Bella and Edward could go back to where they left off. A strong love like theirs could never be over she smiled as she closed her eyes and thought about how everything was falling into place.

"Umm, well that's just strange" she said crinkling her nose. She was looking at the TV and the headline that read tragedy in Forks, Washington

All of a sudden Edward watched as her face changed as she gazed behind him at something on the TV.

"Oh God, Please. Please God, No," she gasped out

"Alice? What? What is it? Alice?" her sudden change scared Edward he never seen Alice so spooked so lost she was shaking and crying and he didn't know what was happening so he yelled as loud as he could for the rest of his family

Not being able to answer him with words she reached down and picked up the remote for the TV with shaky hands and turned the volume up. He turned to see the picture of Bella on the screen staring back at him on the TV and read the headline, and in that moment his heart stopped beating and he couldn't breathe as the woman on the TV begun to speak.

In other news, it's a sad day in the quiet small town of Forks, Washington, 18-year-old Isabella Swan took her life early this morning and was found by her father Chief Charlie Swan when he arrived home from work this afternoon. We now take you live to Forks

Hi, I'm Amy Brooks and I'm standing outside of the home of where Isabella Swan known to family and friends as Bella, used to live and it has turned into a place that will now hold a tragic memory for all

This once bright young girl ended her life after months of battling depression due to the sudden departure of what Bella referred to as the love her life.

Only months ago, Isabella Swan was a normal happy teenager then suddenly after her eighteenth birthday her boyfriend of one year announce that he and his family were leaving Forks. That was the last time she heard from him

"I just don't understand they were very much in love you could tell just by watching them, but once they left he just totally forgot about her and she was devastated It's like once he was gone she left too. She was never the same after that"

Jessica Stanley of Fork high school says that Bella had been withdrawn ever since her and her boyfriend ended their relationship early this year and seemed really depressed

"She wasn't herself anymore, never spoke, hardly ate… she didn't pay attention in any of our classes" said Mike Newton.

"You could tell she was having a really hard time with Edward leaving, we all tried to reach out to her but nothing we did got through to her" said her friend, Angela Weber.

Officer Williams of Forks PD "When we arrived at the scene it was horrifying her father was holding her on the bathroom floor rocking back and forth calling out her name like he was expecting her to wake up. There was blood everywhere, she had made cuts everywhere on her body, there wasn't a place left unmarked. That's not even how she died though she still would have bled out by the time her father got home, but she hung herself too. I will never understand why she did that. If she was going to hang herself why bother cutting herself so she would bleed out too."

"Her father gave us permission to read Isabella's suicide note over the air he says that he wanted the person who was responsible for this to know wherever he was that he caused this with the carelessness disregard of his daughter's feelings"

"In her note these where her last words"

"All I have is yours and will always be yours, I could never live in a world where you don't exist it's much too painful for me. I leave behind the one thing you left, the only thing I had left of you I couldn't stand the thought of it, the constant reminder it gave me of you. It hurt too much and if I didn't deserve to have you, then I don't deserve it."

When asked about what his daughter was talking about, her father explained that a few weeks before the Cullens left, Bella and Edward were in a serious car accident and Bella almost lost her life Edward donated blood for her when she needed a blood transfusion without it she would have surely died.

Edward was heartbroken he had planned to go back and win Bella's heart back. He was too late… this time he couldn't save her. Edward broke down he had really lost her for good.

The last thing he remembered was Jasper's voice as he tried to soothe a hysterical Alice.

Jasper sat and held Alice while she mourned for the loss of her best friend. He couldn't believe it, Bella was dead… she had taken her life because she was heartbroken about losing us, the family that she was sure she'd be a part of forever. He had always thought of her as a sister. She fit in so well with them and made Edward so happy.

After the accident he had tried to talk Edward out of leaving, telling him that he needed to stay for Bella that she would hurt more if he left. But Edward's mind was made up. He was sure he was a danger to Bella and once he decided to leave, like a family they all stuck together and left with him saying that their dad Dr. Cullen was offered a better job somewhere else.

He learned one new thing from this though one true love can't continue to exist without the other. Once you're soul mates with another, it's for life and if one soul is torn from the other there is no hope for survival. As Edward sat on the floor clinging to the screen of the TV he knew at that moment that Edward's pain was beyond any pain he had ever experienced and no one would ever be able to understand what he was going through at the moment but they all hurt in other ways. They had all lost someone special someone remarkable. A sister, a daughter, a best friend… the other half of their soul. Not only could Jasper hear the heartbreaking sob's as they left Edward's mouth he could see the pain from Bella's death as the tears left his eyes. That was when Jasper knew that nothing would ever be the same for the Cullen's again.