Disclaimer: I'm no Shakespeare sorry…but I do love spam!
Ceaser the real ending…
At the beginning of this retelling Brutus is distraught at the reading of a letter written by his wife, Portia, which tells of her reasons for deciding to kill herself. With his wife dead he ponders killing himself; the fact that Mark Antony and Octavius Caesar are on a revenge rampage doesn't help either. Finally he seems to have decided to kill himself by using the same dagger he used on Caesar. As he lies on the ground gasping he sees Mark Antony, Octavius, and Caesar walking up the hill...
O' Brutus, Thou art truly the most noble of all Romans" Caesar mumbles to himself.
"Great Caesar's ghost!" cries Brutus "I killed the yet here you stand in the flesh instead of a ghostly appertain.
Mark Antony looks at Brutus and shakes his head "O' noble Brutus didn't Caesar ever tell you about his twin brother."
"So it is you I see here, how did you know of our foul plot?" asks Brutus.
"I had no idea but I have learned to listen to Calpurnia. Any thing beats sleeping in the coliseum for a week. Caesar replies.
"I'm so glad that you are not really dead!" gasps Brutes.
"Brutus!" calls a familiar female voice running up the hill.
The group, except Brutus, turns to see Portia running up the hill. When she reaches the top she nearly trips on Octavious's toga.
"You need to get that thing shortened you know." Portia mutters.
Octavious looks at her and shrugs.
"A long toga never hurt anyone Potia," Octavious replies.
"Portia, your alive but how is this possible?" Brutus gasps in amazement
"It was a trick set up by one of your fellow conspirators to make sure that you would not worry about me but I came as soon as Calpurnia told me about all of this" explains Portia.
"I have been a fool and I pray for your forgiveness noble Caesar and fair Portia. As I take my last breath I implore the to take my wife as your own dear Caesar."
With a final gasp Brutus shudders and grows still. Caesar walks over to Antony and nudges him.
"Do you think that he realized that I always had a thing for Portia or that we were not going to kill him any way?" Caesar asks
Brutes looks up at them "Really, well I better get of the ground then"
As Portia and Brutus hug and kiss, Calpurnia runes up the cliff with Caesar's sword. She trips on Octavius toga, which causes the both of them to fall down. Octavius grabs on of Caesar causing him to loose his balance and land on Brutus's dagger killing him. As Calpunia lands the sword shoots out of her hand and goes through Portia and Brutus killing them. All Antony can do is look and shake his head
"Man, I guess now the story isn't a tragedy it is just a setting for a lawsuit" he says glaring at Octavious
"We must not ever speak of what really happened here I mean who would ever believe this" Octavious says getting up off of the ground surveying the damage.
Antony nods his head, "Will just say that Ceaser was stabbed, and Brutus killed him self as with Portia." He leans down to pick up the sobbing Calpunia to a standing position.
She sobs for a few minuets and then after calming down she looks over to the two men, sighing she dusts herself and walks off…
"Where are you going?" calls out Antony.
She turns and around and replies "To be an oracle! I could be making a mint, I warned him, but nooo, no one listens to Calpunia…" she keeps talking as she walks off into the distance to find fame and fortune.
Later on Antony met a beautiful snake charmer and fell in love, sadly she wasn't very good at her job…
Octavious was jailed for causing to many chariot accidents due to improper robe lengths…
Calpunia never was an Oracle but she died a very wealth woman after having the uncanny knack of marring guys before they died…