Solitude. Everything I ever wanted. But also my worst fear. There was nothing but silence. I was left alone with my thoughts, my actions. I could do nothing but remember and regret. Coldness seeped into my limbs, but I couldn't shiver. I couldn't move at all. I was frozen. Trapped in stone forever. A small smile would have played on my lips if I had been alive. At least I had done one thing right. But it had come at a high cost.
I spent most of my time thinking, drifting in and out of consciousness. Sometimes I was tempted to fade into the darkness permanently, but it seemed impossible. That and I honestly couldn't gather the courage to do so. Not when they still came to visit me.
Every day, like clockwork, she was there. He joined her sometimes, and other times the rest of them came as well. They spoke to me like I could hear them, see them, feel them. I could hear and see them. But all sense of touch was lost in the stone. But man, their voices were so beautiful to me. A relief from the cold silence, broken occasionally by a drop of water. Her especially. Her voice was so vibrant and full of life, breathing into me and giving me a sense of happiness again.
Starfire. She came every day without fail. She told me everything that had happened to her that day, laughing and sometimes crying. More of the former. She told me of Cyborg and Beast Boy's pranks, her attempts of socialization with Raven, and her confusion about her feelings for Robin. Star often brought me fresh flowers and gave me her infamously strong hugs.
But then Beast Boy would come. Everytime I see him, I can't help but remember the look on his face, the desperation, when I told him I needed to save the city. He knew, somehow, that he would never see me, alive, again. BB tried so hard to act happy when he came to visit. He'd crack a few weak jokes (which some I still found funny) and then kinda just sit there at my feet, leaning against the statue. One time, when he wasn't with Starfire, he'd broken down and cried.
"I just miss you so much," he managed, hugging the flowers Star had left the other day. He had cried for awhile, and I so desperately wanted to step down and hug him, give him my signature smile, tell him that "Hey, everything's gonna be ok." But I could only stand frozen. I wished I could cry, to release all of my bottled up emotions and just cry. Eventually, BB stood up and touched one hand to my stone face. "But I'm not giving up on you. Not ever. We will find a way to get you out. I promise." My heart would have been beating fast if I still had one, my cheeks would have been flushed. But instead I could do nothing but watch him leave with tear stains on his cheeks.
Raven never came to see me. I didn't blame her. Out of all the Titans, I had hurt her the most. She only visited when Beast Boy forced her, and she never did anything but nod at me. I had earned some respect by sacrificing myself, but it was clear that she had not yet forgiven me.
Robin and Cyborg never said much either, but they were more friendly. Robin seemed a little uncomfortable talking to a statue, a little unconvinced by Star that I could hear what he was saying.
And so for many days, weeks, months, maybe even years (I lost track of time), they continued to visit me. The last time Starfire had visited me, she commented that Raven had been acting very strange lately. Jumpy, more secluded than usual. Star dismissed it after a moment of thought and moved onto another topic. I hadn't seen her in a long time. I began to worry something had happened to the Titans, something terrible. I briefly wondered if Raven had left them or perhaps even turned against them, but I quickly reached the conclusion that wasn't what happened. Raven might leave, but then Starfire, or probably Beast Boy, would have told me. And Raven would never betray her friends. Seeing how my betrayal hurt her so much, she would never cause that kind of pain to the closest thing she had to a family. Worry gnawed at me and I contemplated every possible scenario.
Suddenly, the cave shook and I heard a distant roar. A dark wave of energy filled the cave. And then, I fell to my knees, my hair falling in front of my face. I felt the cold stone against my hands before I hugged myself tightly, rocking back on my heels. And I cried tears that had been trapped for longer than I could remember.