Title: The End of an Error
Author: Sapphire Smoke
Beta: BellaRei713
Fandom: Will & Grace
Rating: M
Pairing(s): Grace/Karen
Series: "Liquor in the Front, Poke Her in the Rear" – PART 3/3
Summary: Grace and Karen try to deal with separation while Karen's divorce is finalized. (Hint: it doesn't go well).
A/N: Okay, so this is like… a tentative end to this series? Like, I could go on, but I'm also not leaving you guys in a pile of shit if I don't either, lmao. And I have to start focusing on other things for a hot second, since NaNo is right around the corner and I have an epic fic series I'm in the middle of, and I really need to finish the second book. So the end for right now? But maybe not forever.
THREE DAYS
"Grace… Grace, get up."
Grace just continued to stare at the TV from her spot on her bed. Her hair was mussed, her PJs were wrinkled, and her mouth was half-filled with Ho Hos as she mumbled a pathetic-sounding, "Don't want to," into the darkened room as she slipped a little lower under her duvet.
Will hit the switch on the wall then, filling the room with light and causing Grace to groan and squint before deciding that under the covers was probably where she should be right now anyway. Maybe then Will would just leave her alone.
No such luck.
Grace felt the mattress compress as her best friend sat down, the crinkling of plastic wrappers making Will turn up his nose in disgust as he attempted to clear away the remnants of Grace's emotional eating binge. "You know, as hot as this is…" Will began, a note of sarcasm in his voice. "If you keep eating like this the entire time Karen is going through her divorce, you'll gain at least twenty pounds and won't be able to fit into any of your clothes."
"Karen hates my clothes anyway," Grace mumbled from underneath the covers.
"True, but she also is one of the shallowest people I've ever met, and if you start blowing up like a balloon what do you think's going to happen?"
Ugh. He had a point. Karen was about as shallow as she was, and she didn't want to date anyone fat. So instead of continuing to shove everything into her mouth in an attempt to eat her feelings, Grace stuck her hand out from under the duvet and threw the rest of her Ho Ho across the room.
"Grace! I just had all the carpets in the apartment steam-cleaned!" Will shrieked, rushing off of the bed to no doubt pick up the metaphorical tatters of Grace's emotional state off of the bedroom floor. "Oh, God, and this is soft taupe, you know what a terrible color that is for stains…"
"Can you please just go?" Grace mumbled from underneath the covers, not wanting to deal with this right now. She appreciated Will coming to check on her, but she wasn't ready to get up yet.
"No, this—this is ridiculous," Will snapped, now thoroughly annoyed since Grace had taken to throwing food all over his nice clean floor. "This is Karen, Grace. Karen Karen. At first I just thought this was some weird way of coping with your failed marriage – like maybe if you did a one eighty and tried lesbianism with someone just as dysfunctional as you are that you might believe it'd actually work out this time – but this is getting melodramatic."
Grace shoved the covers off of her head in order to give Will the dirtiest look she could muster. "Yes, Will, I know it's Karen. And no matter how many times you emphasize her name it's not going to suddenly make me realize that whatever I'm feeling right now is just some kind of fluke because it's just Karen. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean that you have to be a dick about it." She paused for a moment though before finishing, "And don't make this about Leo, or about 'trying something new', okay? That's not what this is about."
Will exhaled an exasperated sigh at that, getting up in order to cross the room towards her. "Look, I'm not trying to be a dick, Grace, but you need to get up and go to work," he told her, trying to be less confrontational in order to garner a better response. "You can't hide in here forever."
"Why not?" Grace mumbled irritably.
"Because you have a life, and a job, and Tony has already called three times asking where you are because apparently, when you're gone, Karen tells him that she's in charge."
Oh no.
Grace's expression became disgruntled at that news, knowing whatever Karen was trying to make Tony do was probably nowhere near appropriate. "Damnit," she mumbled, frustrated with the world. Of course Grace knew that, logically, she couldn't just stay in bed until Karen's divorce was finalized. That was ridiculous. But she just didn't… she didn't know how to act around the woman anymore. Grace was afraid that she'd slip up and show her feelings, that it'd somehow get back to Stan, and it would fuck up Karen's life. She didn't want to do that to her.
She side-eyed Will. "How bad is it?"
"She's demanding to ride him like a pony around the office so she doesn't scuff her new Manolo Blahniks."
Grace narrowed her eyes, trying to gauge the severity of the situation. "Is she being serious, or just giving him a hard time?"
Will looked at her, his exasperation evident on his face. "I don't know, Grace, this is just what he told me. But regardless of that, do you realize what you're doing? You're leaving Karen to meet with your clients," he stressed, needing Grace to understand the consequences of her actions. "You're leaving Karen to get you jobs, to keep the jobs you already have…"
"Alright, I'm up, I'm up," Grace groaned as she practically fell out of bed. As much as she seemed to adore the woman now, Karen was in no way qualified to run her business. She was barely qualified to run the fax machine.
Will gave her an encouraging pat on the back. "There we go. I promise, whatever you're scared of, Grace, it won't be nearly as bad as you're imagining."
Ha. Right. Famous last words.
[x]
ONE WEEK, TWO DAYS
"I said no, Stan!"
Grace winced, Karen's high-pitched shrieking in the middle of the office cutting right through her. When the phone first rang, Grace had expected Tony to get it. Instead, Karen grabbed it so roughly she nearly broke the damn thing, apparently having expected the call. She immediately started screaming, and it sounded as though they were just continuing whatever fight they had had at home before Karen had left for work.
Which she was on time for too, if that was any indication how bad it had really gotten.
Grace didn't say anything though, even though she knew she probably should have since Tony was now looking at her like he expected her to shut this insanity down. But Grace couldn't. Karen and her, they didn't… they barely even spoke anymore. Grace was just too paranoid and Karen just so damn stressed-out that yesterday she actually ate something for lunch, and Grace knew how inhumanly long Karen could go without solid foods. This entire thing must have been really taking a toll on her, and she didn't have the heart to make it worse.
"No, I told you there's no one else; I mean, for God's sake, Stanley, I spend all my time with two mincing queens and Grace!"
Grace sunk a little lower into her desk chair, covering her face a little as she tried to just focus on her work, and not at the fact that Tony was now staring at her, looking completely flabbergasted that she wasn't doing anything about this.
"Grace?" Karen repeated, trying to sound surprised and maybe even a little offended. She laughed though, like that was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard anyone say to her. "Yeah, sure, I'm cheating on you with the biggest fashion disaster this side of New York. That makes sense. God, did you put your toupee on too tight today or have you always been this much of an idiot?"
"I'm right here you know," Grace responded, the response automatic despite her trying to stay out of it. Karen just shot her a look though and waved her off like she should know she was just saying things, and that she didn't really mean them, but it did still concern Grace a little that Stan had specifically asked about her.
"No, this is about you!" Karen continued strongly, her grip tightening on the phone as she yelled into the receiver. "We haven't made love in months, Stanley! All you care about now is getting into the 'Guinness Book of World Records' as the world's fattest… whatever – man, person, mammal, whatever the hell you're going for now – and I'm tired of it! I have needs too, you know, and they don't include swallowing an entire pig whole, which I am sick of finding bones of in our bed!"
"Uh… Ms. Adler?" Tony tried, starting to look a little uncomfortable as he practically begged her to do something. Grace sighed.
"Alright, Karen, that's enough," she told her, even though she felt entirely weird telling Karen not to fight with her husband when part of the reason they were fighting in the first place was because of her. Or, well maybe not about her specifically she supposed, but she still was far closer to this than she should be. "Come on, you can't do this at work—"
"Hey, hey!" Karen snapped, holding the receiver to her shoulder for a moment so Stan didn't hear her talking to Grace. "I didn't complain when you screamed at Lebron—"
"Leo."
"—over your marriage going down the crapper—"
"Because I never did it at work," Grace stressed, before she thought about that and revised, "Or even in front of you, actually."
"—But if you had given me my own line like I had asked, you wouldn't have to hear any of this anyway!"
"Karen, you're an assistant, you don't need your own line!" Grace exclaimed, exasperated. "And even if I did give you one, it wouldn't put you in some magical, sound-proof bubble!"
"Well look at you, Miss Smarty-Pants," Karen bit back, thoroughly annoyed. "And I don't mean your actual pants, because honey, those monstrosities you keep insisting on wearing makes you look like—"
"Karen! Please," Grace begged, not wanting to get into it with her right now. She understood that the woman was going through a hard time, but this was completely unacceptable. Grace hated seeing her this way, but there was only so much she could allow.
"Ugh, fine," Karen snapped, apparently not keen on arguing with more than one person at the moment. Putting the phone back up to her ear, she shouted, "And I get the fairy as my lawyer!" before slamming the receiver down, making Grace jump a little at the force of it.
She probably wouldn't get Will as her lawyer though, if the last time they went through a divorce was anything to go by, but Grace didn't want to break that to her right now. That was the last thing Karen needed.
Grace pursed her lips into a thin line, glancing over at her other assistant. "Tony, do you want to go on lunch now? I think maybe I should…" She looked over at Karen, silently indicating that she should probably talk to her alone before her gaze settled back on Tony.
"Sure, no problem," Tony responded, looking a little relieved to be reprieved from this mess anyway. He didn't take long to gather his coat and leave the office, and as Grace stood there trying to figure out how to approach this, she suddenly started hearing banging coming from Karen's desk.
Grace looked over, her brow nearly getting lost in her hairline as she watched Karen crush up some of her pills with a paper weight; although it looked more like she was trying to destroy them with how hard she was banging against the desk. Honestly, Grace wouldn't be surprised if the thing actually broke.
"Whoa, whoa, noooo… no, no," Grace quickly responded, getting to Karen's side immediately and grabbing her wrist with the paperweight in it. "We're not starting that."
"Starting?" Karen scoffed, looking at her like she was mental for thinking something like that. "Honey, me and the nose candy have been in a love affair since the six… sev…" Karen looked slightly panicked for a moment before she finished awkwardly with, "…eighties."
"Yeah, well, regardless, you're not doing it on your desk at work," Grace told her as she took the paperweight out of the other woman's hand, because they needed to draw the line somewhere. It probably should have been about twelve steps backwards ago when Karen first started drinking at her desk, but… eh.
Crouching down a little so she could be at eye-level with the woman sitting at her desk, Grace reached out and covered Karen's hand with her own as she told her honestly, "Karen, I'm… I'm worried about you." Mostly because Karen's life had always been rather cushy and stress-free, and with her addictive personality, Grace was concerned with how she was going to deal with feeling so on edge.
Case in point with the crushed pills that were still covering the other woman's desk.
"I'm fine, honey," Karen responded lightly, awkwardly pulling her hand out from underneath Grace's and kind of folding it self-consciously in her lap. Grace's stomach tightened at that, but she understood why Karen didn't want to get too close right now. Who knows how long it would be until they could actually be together again, and if they kept this up, it'd end up hurting so much worse. They needed to shut down, for their sanity's sakes.
But God, it was hard.
"You're not," Grace told her softly, not about to let her pretend otherwise. "And you shouldn't be; you're going through a divorce, and that's… I know that it's one of the hardest things to ever do. But even if we can't be…" Grace trailed off a little, not really knowing how to vocalize it or what to call it, "you know, right now… I'm still your friend, Karen. So please just… if things ever get too bad, please call me, okay? Please."
Karen's gaze met hers then, and instead of the untethered rage and helplessness that the woman was feeling previously, all Grace could see in her eyes was sadness. Still, Karen gave her a small smile meant to assure her, and gave a short, silent nod. And that should have made Grace feel better, yet there was still this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that things were going to get much worse before they got better.
And she was right.
[x]
TWO MONTHS, TWENTY THREE DAYS
"Karen—Karen!"
Grace was attempting to make some sort of sense of what was happening, and yet Karen's tongue was in her ear and her hand was up her dress and God, had it really almost been three months since they'd done this?
"Shut up, honey, I'm horny as hell and that dress didn't make me want to vomit this morning, so get on your knees and pleasure me; fast and nasty."
Okay she definitely was not Karen's whore, and the swatch room was definitely not the place to be doing this right now, but Karen must have felt her try to pull away and realized she'd have to come at this from a different angle if she wanted to get what she wanted, and so she cradled Grace's head in her hand and breathed into her ear, "Come on, Gracie… I fucked myself thinking about you last night and now I can't get you out of my head…"
Oh. My. Christ, the mental picture that just gave Grace was… well, it did the goddamn trick, is the point. Damn her.
"Fine, just— shit, just be quiet," Grace breathed before giving in and kissing her, pushing Karen up against one of the tables of fabric. Tony was still very much in the other room, and this was stupid and risky on so many different levels, but sometimes hormones weren't the smartest of things, and it had been awhile.
Grace still didn't understand it though. They barely even made eye-contact at work anymore, or would go out of their way to be 'normal' which made for awkward exchanges that felt far too forced. Tony could probably tell something was off, but thankfully he never mentioned it. And honesty, the only reason they both were even in the swatch room to begin with was that Grace needed Karen to show her what fabric Mrs. Brandenberger had ordered when she had been busy meeting with the contractor.
The fabric was forgotten now though, Karen having pushed most of it off the table before she hoped up on it and hiked up her skirt. Grace could taste the harsh sting of vodka on the other woman's tongue as she kissed her and she pulled back for a moment, exclaiming softly against her lips, "Jesus, Karen, how much have you had to drink today?" Cause it seemed much stronger than usual, and now that she was noticing it, she realized Karen wasn't entirely coordinated at the moment either. She seemed to be having a little trouble just steadying herself, and she was now sitting down.
"Oh, honey, what does it matter? I'm gonna come all over you either way," Karen responded before gently biting down on the redhead's bottom lip. Grasping Grace's hand then, Karen put it underneath her skirt for the other woman to find… nothing but bare skin. Oh my God.
"Were you not wearing underwear this entire time?" Grace hissed in disbelief. She let Karen get away with a lot at the office, but going commando while wearing a skirt? Christ. Karen would totally be the type to bend over and not care who she was flashing either, and Grace did not want to deal with that sexual harassment lawsuit that Tony could end up having every right to file.
"Of course not, honey, I just took them off at my desk."
Wait.
"You what?"
Were they still there? What if Tony found them? Oh my God.
"Karen, you can't just—!" But Karen wouldn't let her finish. Pushing Grace's hand out from between her legs for a moment, Karen slipped her fingers inside of herself before pulling them out and putting them directly into Grace's mouth, making her stop mid-sentence in shock and arousal.
Karen, looking in no way amused by which direction this was taking, stared the other woman straight in the eyes and demanded, "Grace.. shut up and fuck me."
Yeah, okay, right.
Screw everything else; there really was only one important thing going on right now.
Grace grasped the other woman around the waist then, pulling her off of the table and forcing her to turn around and bend over it. If she wanted to fuck, then they were going to fuck. Karen groaned in approval as Grace hiked the woman's skirt up around her ass, and as the older woman slid her breasts across the surface of the table as she stretched out and spread her legs in anticipation she purred, "Mmm… honey, I didn't know you had it in you."
"You have no idea what I have in me Karen, but you're definitely about to have me in you," Grace told her, her breathing heavy in anticipation and arousal as one of her hands fisted in Karen's hair. The brunette exhaled a shuddered breath as Grace's free hand found its way between her legs, and as Grace slid two fingers inside of her, Karen had to bite down on her lower lip to keep from moaning too loud.
Grace wasn't ever really an aggressor. She was more a, 'lay back and let someone else do all the work', but there was just something very appealing about having control over Karen Walker. The woman did what she wanted, had damn near everything, and was just so… she was rich, and she was powerful, and yet there she was bent over a table begging Grace to take her.
It was just… it was really fucking hot, was what it was.
"Umphh, God, honey, yes—" Karen exclaimed as Grace pressed herself along the length of the socialite's back, using the weight of her body to put more force into her thrusts. Her hand to go to Karen's mouth to cover it though, the woman's exclamation being a little bit too loud with someone else being on the other side of the door and, damn, Grace felt powerful.
But then of course there's a knock on the door.
"Uh… are you guys done yet?" Tony asked hesitantly, which definitely didn't fill Grace with assurances that he hadn't already heard something, because when had he ever knocked on the door to the swatch room?
Although, to be fair, when did they ever close it?
"Because I have a potential client on the phone who wants to speak with you, but if you're busy I can just—"
"Just… just write down their info and tell them I'll give them a call back!" Grace shouted through the door, trying with everything in her to control her labored breathing and sound normal, all while continuing to service Karen on top of the fabric table.
How had this become her life?
"Um… alright," Tony responded, clearly not understanding why they both had been holed up in the swatch room for so long. This was such a bad idea, and yet Grace couldn't stop herself from twisting her fingers inside of Karen, nearly making the other woman choke on her breath.
"Thanks, Tony!" Grace called out, sounding overly chipper before she took her hand away from Karen's mouth, encouraging one of her legs to rest on the table and for her to bend over further so that Grace would have more room to work.
Unfortunately that position made it a little harder to reach Karen's mouth though, so Grace grabbed a stray piece of fabric and tossed it towards Karen's head as she instructed, "Bite down on this." And Karen, who's chest was already heaving and cheeks were already flushed, didn't even argue or say something smart in return; she just did what she was told before she braced herself on the edge of the table.
And then Grace went to town on her.
Karen was literally so wet by this point that her arousal was dripping down Grace's arm, but of course when she could start to feel Karen tightening around her fingers, everything had to come crashing down. Because she had heard it, she did; she heard Will ask Tony, "Is Grace in there?" and Tony's urgent reply of, "Mr. Truman, you probably don't want to go in there!" but it was like it didn't actually click for Grace what she was hearing and what was going on until Will opened the door and screamed like a little girl.
"Oh my God! What the hell are you two doing?!" he exclaimed in horror, immediately shielding his eyes even though it probably didn't matter at this point; whatever he saw, he definitely saw. Karen's entire vagina was practically on display.
Not that she cared though.
While Grace was off of Karen as soon as Will barged in in some attempt to look normal, Karen just spit out the piece of fabric and heavily put her leg down, her top all in disarray with one of her boobs nearly out of her shirt as she yelled, "What the hell are we doing? What the hell are you doing interrupting my orgasm, you squealing, ball-smacking fairy? Get out!"
"Oh my God, Will, I am so sorry," Grace tried, her face about fifteen different shades of red. Her eyes landed on Tony outside the door then, who at least, at the angle he was at, could not see Karen. He looked more awkward than horrified though. "And—and Tony, I'm sorry, this wasn't—this was totally inappropriate, and I promise it won't happen again. Just please don't—God, don't sue us for sexual harassment or something, I swear I'll give you a huge holiday bonus!"
Karen snorted. "What, you mean five extra dollars? Woohoo."
Grace shot her a dirty look. Okay, yes, she might be cheap, but that kind of attitude wasn't helping.
Karen at least decided it might be pertinent to make herself look a little more put together as she fixed her blouse and her skirt, but Grace had no idea how she couldn't be even a little embarrassed about the position she ended up in. It didn't seem like she cared very much about that though, and instead sighed heavily as she suddenly appeared in the threshold of the doorway, looking at Tony.
"Alright, let's make this simple: if you can keep that weird-shaped mouth of yours closed for the duration of my divorce, I'll give you a fifty Gs and a lifetime subscription to whatever porn site you want so you can jack off while on a budget. Deal?"
"Karen! You can't bribe him, oh my God," Grace responded in disbelief, coming up behind her lover before she was the one to look at Tony and tell him straight off, "Fifty grand for your silence, and you can't sue us."
Karen shot her a look at that, and Grace shrugged. "What? I'm the boss. If anyone's going to bribe him, it's going to be me." Because, obviously.
"It's my money."
"It's my assistant!"
"And you're both idiots!" Will exclaimed, grabbing them both by their blouses as he pulled them both into the swatch room, nearly making them trip all over themselves. "Tony, unless you want Karen sleeping on your couch from now until the end of time, don't say anything, alright? Alright."
He shut the door then, trapping them all in the swatch room without even hearing Tony's response. Will apparently assumed the thought of living with Mrs. Walker permanently would scar Tony beyond all sane measure, and he was probably right.
"How long have you two been sleeping together?!" Will demanded, his voice still all high-pitched and shrieking. "You know what will happen if Stan finds out, are you both really that stupid?"
Grace felt about an inch tall. Yes, she knew they shouldn't have been doing that, but she had just gotten caught up. Now she felt horrible, because if she had ruined Karen's life with this then she would have never been able to forgive herself.
"Hey! Don't talk to my Gracie like that; it's not her fault that one look at me gets her hornier than a fourteen-year-old boy in Victoria's Secret!"
Grace looked at her in disbelief. "Um… no," she stressed, because this was not her fault. She may have participated in it, but she certainly wasn't the one who started it! "And it was only this once, Will; one time, which happened because of not me."
Grace glared at Karen then, not appreciating being blamed for this, but the other woman just smirked a little though before bringing her fingers to her mouth, doing her cute little 'oops' expression as she admitted with a little giggle, "Well, okay, it might have been my fault."
Will just stared at her like he didn't understand how her brain worked. Neither did Grace for that matter sometimes, but apparently that had become rather irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. She still wanted to bend her over every single surface in this office regardless.
"Karen, you are going to lose everything if you don't start taking this seriously," Will told her, needing her to comprehend the severity of the divorce. "I may not be your lawyer, but I am still your friend and because of that, I am now going to accidentally drop a paper that Grace may happen to see and tell you about."
Will slid a piece of paper out of his pocket then, allowing it to fall to the ground. Grace's brow furrowed before she bent over and picked it up, unfolding it before scanning its contents. Her mouth dropped open. "Stan's hiring a P.I.?!"
"Wait, what?" Karen asked, suddenly far more interested in this conversation as she rushed over to look at the paper Grace was holding. After a moment of reading its contents, Karen let out an undignified little squawk. "Why, Stanley Walker, you son of a bitch! I damn well told that man that there was no one else, and yet he's still digging? If anyone's the digger in this relationship it's me, and it's for gold like any other respectable lady!"
"Karen, you do have someone else!" Will cried in exasperation as he motioned wildly at Grace. Karen just scoffed though, the puff of air that came out of her lungs so forceful it blew back a couple strands of her hair as she crossed her arms over her chest in a huff.
"Yeah, but only like… three times."
"Four," Grace corrected automatically, which made Karen briefly gesture towards her.
"What the Jew said."
"Karen, it's not the sex that your husband has a problem with, remember?" Will coaxed her, wanting her to recall important details in her prenup. "It's the fact that you have actual feelings for Grace; which I'm still not entirely convinced are human feelings, but we'll leave that for another day."
Karen stuck out her tongue at that and made a fart noise. "Ugh, that? That was just a fluke, I'm totally over it."
Grace's brow rose at that, looking both surprised and hurt by what Karen had said, until the other woman just looked back at her and dramatically winked at her, apparently wanting to let her know that she was lying. It was so obvious that Grace almost smacked herself on the forehead just watching it.
Will's face leveled. "Karen, I can see you winking at Grace."
"What? No I'm not, honey. I'm serious, I don't have feelings; I had to have those surgically removed in order to get into the Republican National Convention in '08," Karen told him innocently, before turning back and giving Grace another huge wink. It was so frustrating, yet at the same time so utterly endearing that Grace didn't really know what to do with herself, and just smirked in response.
Will sighed heavily.
"Karen, please, for your own sake, just… just stay away from Grace, okay?" Will tried. "I know it's difficult because you work together, but there's going to be someone snooping around trying to find this out, so please don't make it easy for them, otherwise you're going to learn what it's like to sleep in a cardboard box."
Karen turned her nose up at that and, okay, at least it seemed like she was listening now.
But that didn't mean that she was going to take the realization of being spied on well, or that she'd be able to cope with feeling so lonely and isolated, and Grace wished she knew that beforehand.
[x]
FOUR MONTHS, SIXTEEN DAYS
"What the hell do you mean, family only? I'm her brother from another mother and I demand to see her right now!" Jack shrieked at the receptionist at the hospital, his hand banging angrily against the counter.
"I'm sorry, sir, but—"
"Jack! Jack!" Grace frantically called as she ran down the hallway, almost dripping over her long coat in her haste to get to her friend. "What happened? How is she? Is she okay?"
Grace had just checked her voicemail and heard from Rosario that Karen was in the hospital, but the woman hadn't given any details and so Grace nearly threw up in fear as she dropped everything and raced to the hospital, texting Will on the way to let him know where to meet them.
Grace was honestly terrified; after Stan moved out of the mansion and into their summer home last month, Karen had been all alone. Well, if 'all alone' meant herself and about twenty other waitstaff. Still, Karen looked more exhausted than Grace thought she had ever seen her, and it was clear she was drinking heavier and getting higher, because half the time she barely even made sense when she spoke. It was killing Grace, but she had no idea what to do. She couldn't go near Karen in fear of what Stan's P.I. might find out, and so instead she just let Karen slowly waste away.
And she hated herself for that.
Will assured her that Karen's divorce should be finalized sometime within the next month so long as it didn't end up being contested (which it most certainly would have, if Stan ever found out the truth), so Grace had tried to lay low but God, now Karen was in the hospital and Grace was on the verge of fucking tears she was so afraid of why.
"I don't know because this 'Nurse Jackie' won't tell me anything!" Jack shouted dramatically before he rounded on the woman again and said, "Do you know who I am? I am one-twenty thirds of the cast for the new commercial for the womanizing beer Bud Light Lime, and I demandto be treated with respect! Respect, I say!"
Yeah, Grace still has no idea how he landed that job.
"Am I late? What's happened with Karen?" Will asked then, jogging towards them with a worried expression on his face. "Oh, God, don't tell me her second liver failed."
"Wait, what?" Grace asked, rounding on him in surprise. "Karen really has a second liver?" The woman had claimed that once, but Grace had thought it was just another one of those wild things that she said that weren't actually true.
"Yes. Well, not like she has two at once," Will amended which, okay, made so much more sense, "but in 2007 her first one was starting to fail and I had to draw up a contract between her and one of Rosario's cousins for a donation. If he gave her part of his liver, then she'd get him the papers to get into America. I thought you knew."
No. She very much didn't know. She knew Karen had taken some time off work during that year, but Karen had told her that she was just going to South America, which caused Grace to believe she was just down there for some Botox, or to get new staff or something. Karen never told her the truth, and Grace wished she knew why. Did she just not want her to worry or something? Because that was so… unlike her.
"The boss-lady's fine; just had to get her stomach pumped again," came Rosario's voice from the other side of the lobby as she approached them.
"Wait, what? Again?" Grace asked, not understanding why Rosario's tone was so… so nonchalant.
"Eh, she gets it pumped like three times a year," Rosario told them with a dismissive hand wave. "She's got standing appointments with the doctors."
"Then why the hell did you call us in like it was some big emergency?!" Will asked in disbelief. "I left an important business meeting for this!"
"Because she won't be fine unless you do something," Rosario told him, pointing a finger directly in his face before she seemed to reconsider that, and pointed to Jack. "You mostly." She glanced over at Grace and mentioned, "Would be you, but you've still got a month or so until you can actually be useful."
Grace's brow rose. "You… you know about…?"
Rosario looked at her like she was stupid for even questioning that. "Lady, I know everything."
"What's going on with Kare, Rosie?" Jack asked, concern in his voice. "She never wants to play anymore so I hardly get to come over, it's been no fun."
"Yeah, well, it's been a real picnic for me," Rosario snapped. "The reason why she's even here was because she got into another fight with Mr. Stan and wanted to get into the 'Guinness Book of World Records' before him out of spite."
"Wait, for doing what?" Grace asked, confused. What the hell could Karen possibly do to get into that book?
"Swallowing the most pills without dying."
All three friends just stared at her in shock, but it was Will who spoke. "That's… that's not even a thing! They would never encourage something so dangerous because they'd have a lawsuit on their hands in seconds!"
"Well, you try reasoning with her then, because she never listens to me anymore," Rosario told him, throwing up her hands. She could handle a lot when it came to Karen, but it seemed she was at the end of her rope.
The nurse that had previously been telling Jack off put down the phone and cleared her throat to get their attention. "Your friend is awake and would like to see you now," she told them, to which Jack responded with a dramatic, "Finally!" as he threw up his hands and stomped off into the direction of Karen's room.
Grace looked over towards Will warily, her heart compressing in her chest with nerves because she didn't know what to do about Karen anymore. How could she talk to her, tell her how she felt and how important it was to her that Karen not try to accidently-maybe-on-purpose kill herself anymore without someone maybe overhearing and getting paid or something to tell Stan? And maybe Grace was just being paranoid, but the presence of a P.I. was making her feel constantly on edge. At work Grace second guessed literally everything she said to Karen, to the point where their interactions had become increasingly awkward.
But Will just held her hand as they followed Jack into Karen's room, knowing she needed the support right then. She appreciated him for that.
"Oh my God, Kare, are you okay? You look awful," Jack told her, which Grace found fucking ridiculous because despite just being a little more pale than usual, the only thing different was that Karen didn't have make up on. All things considered, she looked a lot better than Grace would have thought she would.
"I'm okay, poodle. I—" But then Karen stopped mid-sentence, looking panicked all of a sudden. "Oh my God, am I speaking English? I'm not speaking English!"
"What?" Will asked, looking perplexed. "Karen, we can understand you. You're speaking—"
"No, there's something wrong! I can—I don't understand…!"
Oh.
Grace knew why, but maybe because she had been around the other woman more often than the rest of them. "Karen, Karen," Grace stressed, coming over to hold the other woman's hand in hers in order to calm her down and make her pay attention. "Karen, you got your stomach pumped; you're just not high anymore."
There had been times when Karen spoke to her and said things that made absolutely no sense, and yet Karen didn't seem to understand that they didn't come out in the way that she intended. They probably sounded right in her head, which was making the right words sound wrong in her head right now.
"What?" Karen asked, suddenly sounding affronted as she let go of Grace's hand. "Well who the hell's bright idea was that?!"
"Your doctors," Will stressed, which just made Karen scoff and fold her arms over her chest. Sometimes she looked like a petulant child, which was probably why her and Jack got along so well.
"Well I want a new one then!"
Yeah, that wasn't happening.
"Kare, we're really worried about you," Jack told her as he sat on the edge of her bed, the corners of his lips turning down into a frown. "You haven't been wanting to do any of the usual fun things with me like watching Driver hit pedestrians or spit on the homeless."
Grace really hoped he was being hyperbolic, but a large part of her doubted it.
"I'm fine, Jackie, don't worry; just been a little tired lately, you know," Karen told him, her voice much higher pitched as she tried to convince all of them that she was honestly fine after swallowing god only knows how many pills.
"Karen, you're not… you're not fine!" Grace exclaimed, looking at her incredulously. She didn't actually expect to nearly shriek at her, but God, look at what the hell she was doing to herself. "I told you to call me if things ever got bad, and yet you blatantly ignore me and do—you do this instead!In what warped part of your brain did you actually think it was okay to take that many fucking pills?!"
"Grace… Grace, it's alright," Will gently tried, either knowing that yelling at Karen would be useless, or not wanting her to make a huge scene in the hospital.
"No, it's not alright!" Grace yelled, her heart tightening in her chest as her stomach wrapped in knots. "She could have died, Will! If Rosario wasn't there, if someone didn't find her, she could be dead and that's not okay, that'll never be okay…!"
"Grace…" Will tried, but Grace just pushed him away, her eyes welling up with tears as she tried to run away, because she couldn't do this here. She couldn't be like this around Karen because what if someone saw, what if someone heard, and they understood why she was acting this way? Already as it was Karen looked like she didn't know what to do now that someone was practically vomiting their feelings all over her, and Grace didn't want this to get any worse.
"I can't... I have to get out of here."
"No, Grace, don't. We'll… Jack and I will leave," Will told her as he held onto the fabric of her jacket, not letting her run away too far.
"Um, we will?" Jack asked, in this exaggerated 'excuse me' tone.
Will ignored him though, his lips turning down in a sympathetic frown as he glanced over at Karen who was currently looking extremely uncomfortable as she anxiously picked at her nails. He then set his gaze back on Grace. "I think you two should talk."
"I can't. If someone heard and—I can't fuck up her life, Will, I can't."
"The hospital room isn't bugged, Grace. It'll be fine. I'll watch the door." Will motioned for Jack to follow him out then, and although Jack didn't look like he wanted to leave he did reluctantly follow after Will told him he could get his alone time with Karen afterwards.
It was obvious that Jack didn't like coming second to anybody. No big surprise there though.
When the boys left, Grace wrapped her arms around her midsection and finally allowed herself to look over at Karen. The other woman wouldn't look at her. "…Karen," she prompted softly, just wanting her to say something. Anything.
Karen mumbled something beneath her breath, still unable to make eye contact.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, honey, alright? Jeez, you don't gotta do that whole," Karen made circular motions towards Grace's face, looking extremely uncomfortable with this conversation, "thing that you're doing right there."
Grace looked at her incredulously. "Cry?"
"Yeah, that. You can stop that now; everything's better, see?" Karen responded in an overly chipper tone as she motioned to herself, as though Grace couldn't see that she was still in a hospital gown and connected to an IV drip. Jesus.
"Karen, please," Grace tried, coming over to the side of the bed as she sat down next to the other woman, taking her hand in hers. "I know that you being drunk, or… or high, is just so ingrained in your personality now that you wouldn't be yourself without it, but you have to start limiting yourself. This might have been fine in your twenties or thirties, but Karen, let's be honest for a second: you're not… you're not getting any younger here."
Karen gasped dramatically, pulling her hand away from Grace. "How dare you!" she exclaimed, looking completely affronted. "I am too getting younger, and I have the receipts for every body part that I've harvested from the young and the desperate to prove it!"
Grace sighed softly. "Karen… you're scaring me. Can you understand that?"
Karen's jaw tightened and she looked away from her. She then glanced back. Once. Twice. Grace's brow raised expectantly, and Karen sighed dramatically.
"Fine, I won't try to get into the 'Guinness Book of World Record's for pills anymore, happy?"
"…It's a start."
Neither woman spoke for a long moment, and Grace just watched Karen seem to struggle with some type of emotion as she fidgeted and played with the rings on her fingers. Grace knew better than to push though so she just waited, and finally Karen admitted in a small voice, "…I'm really lonely, Gracie."
Grace felt like her heart was cracking in two at those words, and her brow furrowed with emotion as she reached out for her. "I'm right here, Karen. We're all right here."
"I know," Karen responded softly, a sad smile gracing her lips as she looked over at the other woman. "But it's not the same, honey. My bed feels cold and empty now, and not just because a five-hundred-pound man isn't in it anymore. I think I just miss… being near someone."
Grace pursed her lips momentarily before gently nodding towards her hospital bed. "Do you… I could lay here with you for a little while, if you wanted."
Karen smiled gently at that, and Grace could see her eyes instantly change; they were lighter, happier. "Yeah, honey. I think I'd like that."
So Grace carefully climbed into the hospital bed with Karen, hoping that the boys kept their word about watching the door, since if anyone looked in on them, this position would look fairly intimate. Grace tried not to worry about it though as she rested her head on Karen's shoulder, wrapping her arm around the brunette's midsection. Karen noticeably began to relax, her fingers playing with Grace's mess of auburn curls.
"I know that this divorce has been harder on you than you expected it to be," Grace told her softly, her breath softly tickling Karen's neck. "I'm sorry."
Karen sighed softly, looking up at the ceiling. "I still love him, Gracie. But he just… he's so angry with me for leaving him. He doesn't understand that it hasn't been working for a while now. But after he cheated on me and faked his death, the trust just isn't there anymore. I tried. I tried for more than ten years, but I'm… I'm tired. I'm really tired, honey."
"Yeah… I understand," Grace responded, voice just as quiet as she reached out for Karen's hand, taking it into her own. "After Leo cheated, I still tried to make it work, but it just… it wasn't there anymore. It was never the same. That's neither of our faults."
Karen's eyes widened a little bit, realizing something. "…It's theirs."
Grace smirked, because that's how she'd like to think of it, whether it was true or not. "Exactly. We were the perfect wives who still tried to make it work after their infidelity, but some things just can't be fixed after they've been broken."
Karen was a little overzealous in her epiphany though and told her, "Honey, we're the victims; we should be the ones getting it all in the divorce!" She sat up then, as if she was about to go do something stupid like demand that from Stan, but Grace quickly put her hand on her chest and gently pushed her back down on the bed.
"Whoa, slow down; you might be a victim of his adultery, but you're hardly innocent in that area either. You really don't want to pull at that thread, Karen."
"What? Well why the hell not?"
Grace gave her a pointed look, then motioned to herself because, obviously. Karen's lip turned up then as she looked disgruntled by the realization that she really didn't have much of a platform to stand on. "Oh, poop. You."
"And people say romance is dead," Grace responded wistfully, yet amused. Karen cracked a smirk as she looked over at her before turning so she was on her side facing Grace, her body nestled into hers.
"When this is all over, you're still going to take me on that date, right, honey?"
Grace smiled softly, looking into the other woman's eyes as she reached out and gently trailed her fingertips across Karen's jaw. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go." Karen smiled at her then, this wide, genuine expression of happiness that made Grace's insides churn with an emotion she didn't know how to name, and she leaned in, covering Karen's lips with her own.
She couldn't wait for this month to be over.
[x]
FIVE MONTHS, NINE DAYS
"Grace, sit down; all your frantic lesbian pacing is making me nauseous," Jack complained, watching the redhead walk back and forth in the foyer of the manse. "I mean, I know I said I needed to lose five pounds this month, but I already ruled out bulimia; that is so Mary-Kate Olsen circa 2004, you know?"
Grace stopped and turned towards him, her stress over this entire situation keeping her temper right on the surface. "Hey, here's a thing I think you should have learned a long time ago: G and L are not the only two letters in the queer alphabet, so maybe stop mislabeling me!" For some reason, that was really irking her right now. "Also, Mary-Kate was anorexic, not bulimic. You know, for a gay man, you have a shameful recollection of pop culture history. It's embarrassing."
"Wow, and here enters the B," Jack quipped, which Grace was sure did not mean 'bisexual'. "Listen, Grace, I know you're all nervous about whether or not you and Karen can openly scissor tonight, but you don't need to channel it into going full-blown SJW on me. Believe me, there is nothing more unattractive than a woman preaching; gentlemen, amirite?" Jack pretended he had a microphone as he looked out at his invisible audience, no doubt half-expecting someone to clap for his witty comedy routine.
Grace just stared at him, her jaw clenching. "Sometimes, I really don't like you," she told him flatly. She knew she was being a bitch, but she was just on edge. It also didn't help that sometimes Jack could be one of those gay men that, at times, completely dismisses women as actual people. Still, this was more about Karen, and how her divorce proceedings were going.
There was a very high chance that Karen could come back here single, still rich, and finally available to pursue a relationship with her. However, there was also the chance that something could have gone wrong that could push the divorce back months, and that was what scared her. Neither of them have been doing particularly well with this forced separation, as the natural thing to want to do when you realize your feelings for someone is to immerse yourself completely in them.
But they were never able to do that. Instead, they saw each other every day but never touched one another. They spoke with one another but never really said anything. It was driving Grace insane, and she hoped they wouldn't have to do this for much longer.
And then the door opened.
"Introducing the newly single – although if Grace's face is anything to go by, that might last about five minutes – Miss… Karen Walker," Will announced with a smile, motioning towards the door so Karen could make her grand entrance.
Grace held her breath, hardly able to believe it, as her hands went up to cover her mouth as the biggest grin reached either side of her face. Oh my God. Oh my God. It was over, it was really over.
"That's right boys and girls, I'm back, I'm more fabulous than ever, and I'm still filthy rich!" Karen exclaimed, holding up her arms and striking a pose. She put her arms down then and smirked, "I'd say it was good to be me, but I think we all already knew that."
"Wait, Kare, you're keeping your last name?" Jack asked, surprised.
"Well of course, honey, you didn't think I'd give up this brand did you? Please. 'Walker' is famous and money is power and oh, did I mention I still have a lot of it? Ha! Take that, prenup."
Grace still hadn't said anything, still reeling from the reality that maybe, finally, her and Karen could try to make a 'rotten go of it' like the other woman had suggested all those months ago. It still seemed too good to be true, and so all she could do was just stand there and stare at her, unable to even see the other people in the room.
It was Karen who spoke first, her gaze landing on Grace as she tentatively approached her. "…Are you happy, Gracie?" she asked softly, almost as though she might be a little unsure about the answer which was… it was madness.
"Am I…?" Grace tried, looking at her disbelievingly. "Am I—God, Karen…" was all Grace could manage before she did what came instinctively and closed the distance between them, grasping the other woman's face in her hands as she gave her a passionate kiss, allowing that to be her answer.
"Ugh, okay, this is going to take some getting used to," Jack said, but he was ignored as Karen grasped desperately to every part of Grace that she could reach until she settled on fisting her hands in Grace's shirt, encouraging her to take a couple steps until Karen's back hit the front door.
"A whole two and a half minutes of single-life then," Will mentioned, checking his watch. "Right, moving on. Jack? I think it's about time we find Rosario and get some celebratory drinks, because it has been a long day."
"Yeah, and I don't want to be here when their pants come off; talk about G-R-O-double S. Although I will admit I have always had a morbid curiosity about what two women do in bed. I mean, what even goes where? It makes no sense," Jack mentioned as he began to walk out of the room with Will, leaving the two women alone in the foyer.
Neither Grace nor Karen even registered them as being there in the first place though, so when they finally broke the kiss, they didn't even notice that they were finally alone because to them, it had always been just the two of them that mattered right then anyway. Grace smiled down at her, her thumbs tracing the edges of Karen's lip as the other woman's expression matched her own.
"This is really happening, right?" Grace asked softly, just wanting to make sure that she wasn't just dreaming. It had really felt like forever.
"Well if it's not, I have to get more of these pills because honey, this high is fantastic," Karen told her, a smile of her own on her lips. And, alright, there was still a part of Grace that cringed a little at that, but at the end of the day she knew Karen would never be truly sober. That wasn't who she was, but so long as the other woman kept her dosages reasonable then… then perhaps Grace could learn to be okay with it, even after that hospital incident.
"Yeah, well, what I want to do to you right now I guarantee could top any high you've ever had…" Grace breathed seductively, causing the corners of Karen's lips to upturn into a playful smirk.
"Mmm, honey, talk dirty to me some more," Karen growled against Grace's mouth before leaning up to capture her lips in another lingering kiss, her hand sliding into a mess of auburn curls. The heat of Karen's mouth made Grace groan, missing the taste of her tongue and the tang of her alcohol. She wanted to just fall into her, to stay in bed with her for days and kiss and fuck and everything in between to make up for lost time, and the overwhelming desire was making Grace's breathing labor in need as she kissed Karen harder, her hands getting lost up the other woman's shirt as she raked her nails across her abdomen.
Karen noticeably shuddered beneath her touch before she broke the kiss, her hand coming up to rest on Grace's cheek as her finger traced her bottom lip. "Honey, I got a box full of sex toys upstairs with your name on it; so why don't we go find the piece that fits best to your little puzzle?" she breathily suggested, causing Grace to go about fifteen different shades of red at the mention of toys. She hadn't exactly been expecting that, but then again, maybe she was stupid not to; this was Karen they were talking about.
But that was the thing, wasn't it? It was Karen. Karen, who was inappropriate, who lacked compassion, who drank and swore and took more pills in one day than most people did in a lifetime, and yet… and yet she was also Karen, who cared about her friends more than anything, who could find child-like joy in even the smallest things in life, who was beautiful and sexy and who, somehow, someway, became the most important thing in Grace's life.
And it might not work, she knew that. Grace knew that there was the chance that they could have this short, passion-filled fling until one or both of them realized they worked so much better as just friends. But she also knew that there was a chance that it could become more than that, and that Karen could end up being the answer that Grace had been searching for her entire life.
It was uncertain. It was frightening. It was exhilarating.
And Grace knew that she would never, ever trade it for anything else in this world, because this was exactly where she wanted to be, and exactly what she wanted to feel.
- FIN -
