Story: The Importance of Protecting Your Banana
Author: the_mythologist
What I do not own: Code:breaker, and the list is endless
Pairings: Yuki/Rui (wait for it…), slight Ogami/Sakura
Rating: T. And that's being supes conservative.
Timeline: AUish, but conceivably after the Heike battle, in relative peacetime.
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"Yukihina!"
"Rui."
"What is this?"
He turned his placid gaze on her, noting her flushed cheeks and threatening stance. Then he looked at what she held in her fist.
"A condom."
"And what is it doing in your room?" She had been going for maternal yet threatening, but the ludicrously high pitch of her helium-inflated, panic-stricken voice undermined her efforts. Well, it was all his fault for having something so…so mortifying in his room, lying in plain sight for even those who *weren't* surreptitiously cleaning his bedchamber to see.
Yukihina cocked his head, vaguely wondering why Rui sounded so silly. After all, it's not like she didn't know all about it… "Waiting to be used."
Rui took a deep breath, willing the blood in her body to circulate normally. Exhaled. Maybe, just maybe, Yuki didn't know what it was. Or had it for some unknown, innocent reason. "Yuki…do you plan on using it?"
"No."
Rui sighed, a little too relieved. "Then why do you have-"
Yukihina continued as if he had never stopped talking. "Not until I need to."
Silence. Yuki looked at her expectantly, and Rui ran through her newfound breathing technique, wondering how on earth to proceed.
"Do you know what it is?"
"I told you it was a condom." Completely deadpan. Actually, this was a bit of a front. Yuki was beginning to become slightly worried for Rui, as it looked like she was close to apoplexy.
And she was. Her lips trembled as she fought for composure. "Where did you get this?"
"From Kouji." He stood and stretched, carefully moving closer to her in order to prevent the imminent implosion. He had lived with her – discounting the hiatus when she went gallivanting off after Rei – for years now, and he still knew her better than almost anyone. If he was correct, she would attempt to headbutt him in about .3 seconds now…
Well, he thought he knew her better than almost anyone. Her sudden, palpable relief -and lack of physical injury - made even his eyebrows arch slightly.
"Ohhh from Kouji. Ohhh. Ok. I get it…" She smiled weakly up at him, going so far as to lean – sag, really – just the slightest bit into his body. Yukihina felt her touch flicker like dancing flames up his body, emanating from the point of contact – so different than his native element, the cold, glacial stillness.
He shivered. He couldn't help it.
"Oh darkness, and here I was thinking that you were actually…actually needed it and of course Kouji gave it to you, knowing I'd see it when cleaning and…" Rui paused at the even more blank than usual expression on Yukihina's face. "Yukihina?"
"What do you mean by needing it?"
The barely noticeable lilt in his voice made Rui cringe – this was not a subject she wanted to get into. "Well, you'll have to ask Kouji about all that…no! Wait! You don't have to know! All you have to know is that you can't use this until marriage!"
Yukihina cracked his neck, and in doing so inadvertently freed longer strands of hair from his ethnic braid. He was seriously confused. "So I have to keep it on my dresser until I get married?"
"Yes! No! We're going to throw it away right now!"
Rui turned to march towards the trash bin in the kitchen, but Yukihina's strong arms caught her and halted her progress. She gulped as she became quite aware of the paradoxical warmth of Yukihina's broad chest. Well, this was certainly going from bad to worse.
"Yuki, let me go-"
"Nuh uh. Do your job."
That was enough to halt her struggles. "My…my what?"
"Your job. Protection."
If it wasn't for the noticeable rush of the pulsing of her blood in her temples, Rui would swear her brain had stopped functioning. As it was, she figured she had simply gone mad. "Yuki…protect you from what?"
Yukihina sighed. All this explanation and no Code:breaker in sight. He had to be getting old. Or soft. Or something. "Kouji said it was for my protection, but didn't explain how it works. You protect things. So you should know. Show me." He added as an afterthought, "Please."
Rui wondered if it was possible to will herself into oblivion, or, barring that, perform a backwards headbutt and land a hit on Yuki's face, half a foot above hers. She squirmed, attempting to get into position, but his next line of thought stopped her before she could seriously try.
"If you don't show me, I'll ask Heike to the next time we battle."
Rui froze. "You wouldn't."
She could feel his smirk, and she was almost positive that was not allowed. Yukihina did not smile, smirk, or express any emotion other than vague displeasure and perhaps an air of slight befuddlement.
"Well, we have to do something when we're in our lost forms…that is, if I don't simply kill him next time."
That very nearly convinced her. Heike probably would give a demonstration, and it made her heart lurch sickeningly – her mind and morals were another matter; from their lack of response she figured they had been lost long ago. But it wouldn't do to give in; it simply wasn't her. She summoned the best carefree attitude she could as she attempted to pull at his forearms. "Yeah. You work on that. I'm sure the experience will be…quite educational." She summoned the shadow to free herself, but his last plea undid her.
"Please, Rui? I want you to show me. No one but you. Please?"
His treacherous, beautiful voice whispered against her ears and directly into her heart. How could she refuse such a plea?
Her hands stilled. She closed her eyes and exhaled. Prayed no one else would ever know. "All right. But just this once, so…pay attention."
"I will. I promise."
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Several hours later, Rui stumbled from Yukihina's room, exhausted and desperately embarrassed. Yuki's education had take far longer than it should have. The act itself was quite simple, yet her nerves and mortification had gotten the better of her several times, and they had had to pause to clean up all the blood. Not to mention Yuki's infernal enthusiasm. He had demanded on repeating the process until he had it just right.
Yet now it was over, and she'd never have to worry about it every again, and all she could think about was collapsing onto her bed and sleeping for at least 12 hours. She was just passing by the kitchen when she nearly ran into Rei and Sakura, who had just exited Rei's bedroom. Rui did a doubletake. Was Sakura…was she blushing? And were they holding hands?
"Everyone! With Rui's help, I have developed an important new skill. Watch me."
Rui took off running as Yukihina proudly pulled a new, unwrapped condom and a still-green banana from behind his back.
"Ah? Ogami, what is he going to do with the banana?" Rui could hear Sakura's innocent inquiry from down the hall, yet it was cut off as Rei hastily dragged her back into his bedroom. Hopefully to spare her the demonstration, but if their new level of intimacy was any indication, she couldn't be sure he wasn't raring to provide a little "demonstration" himself – she had thought Rei to be a sexual innocent, but now? Who could say?
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Was no one she lived with modest? Or sane?
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It was official. She missed Shibuya.
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Safe sex, everyone. Practice it. Upon bananas.
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Sooo….recent chapters dictate I stop portraying Yukihina like an adult Yuuki, but I love him so much that I couldn't help it. So here it is, the (final?) hurrah of the Space Cadet!
I would also just like to state that I am an equal opportunities Re:Code lover, hence the *new pairing*. That is also because Kouji's hip thing is getting on my nerves. Lastly, Yukihina has demonstrated his superior hotness (overtaking Heike with one sexy man braid and the hottest damn body in the series, to date) and did a lot of Rui-the-fish holding in chapter 112 (raws only…but when they get that translated expect some Sagami loving…when I finish my grad school applications…in December).
Love! Love and reviews lower my stress levels, and I have excess amounts of that.