Notes: I wrote it yesterday night after rewatching this episode. It was raining and lighting and cold for the whole night, so it might just reflect my mood.

Chapter 1

Merlin is shivering and his breathing is laboured, but a laboured breathing means alive. And alive means Arthur can keep pretending that there's still hope, that there's still a chance Gaius can fix him... and Merlin will survive.

The fire catches on with a popping sound in the eerie quiet. Arthur takes a deep breath, choked with the forest's rotten, dead leaves and cold, damp earth. The rain starts to drizzle and the sky stays ominous and angry, the stars shrouded by heavy clouds, in perfect harmony with Arthur's mood.

He flexes his hand against the ache. The pain. He had always known death was painful, but this was different. The sight of Merlin's stiff, shivering body feels like a knife between Arthur's ribs, stabbing at something deep inside his chest. Something Arthur isn't willing to examine too closely, not when Merlin...

He just stares at Merlin's too pale, ice cold face, listening to his ragged breath: in and out, in and out.

"Hey," He brushes his hand through Merlin's adorably messy hair, his chest aching as the still cool strands slip through his fingers. "I know you're in a pretty bad shape, and I know you think I'm a prat but- just this once- don't get used to it, considering what a miserable example of a servant you already are... Well... you take all the time you need. And I - I must admit, I'm worried about you. I don't like seeing you like this... You know, how hard it is for a good servant to come by. I don't - "

Arthur's voice crumbles and he strokes Merlin's hair again before he slides his hand below the blanket and down Merlin's arm, lacing their fingers together, squeezing lightly as the cold radiates out of Merlin's body.

Somebody gently suggesting to take his place by Merlin side, and surely Arthur should be alerted being caught catching Merlin's hand and probably he needs to put himself together, but he couldn't care less about what he should do, and shaking his head, he refuses to leave Merlin's side.

He wouldn't leave him for a second. He can't.

He knows he should say something, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone or think about anything. He hasn't spoken to anybody since he'd gasped Merlin's name out. Since Merlin fell to the ground. Since the thud of his lifeless body as it hit the ground rang like thunder in Arthur's shocked ears. Since Arthur's body had shook with disbelief and he was stunned into silence.

But he did manage to pull Merlin's dead weight into his lap, clutching him into his body and lift him. He did manage to bear him alone with a horrible pit of cold despair in his stomach. He did manage to carry him all the way through the forest and wrap him in thick blankets, before laying him down next to the fire- his knights managed to set up in record time.

And the next day when Merlin- his body crumbled over his horse- is out of Arthur's sight, he just stands there, staring after Merlin until his eyes burn, and he is fighting, hard, the tears, stinging in his eyes. His chest is tight and his throat closes up as something sharp is stabbing inside, digging at something reckless underneath his skin.

He should be the one taking Merlin home. He should be the one by Merlin's side. He should be the one guarding Merlin's every broken breath.

Merlin's been always by his side. He's been the only one constant Arthur has ever had in his life, and with every step the horse took him away, Arthur's heart twisted until it feels like a tight, throbbing knot. His angst and guilt gnawing at everything inside his chest with the force of a living thing.

Chapter 2

Leon was worried about his Prince.

Of course, he was always worried about Arthur for one reason or another. As a Crowned Prince, his life was more prominently in danger than most. Strange occurrences, attacks: magic and otherwise, abductions, injuries and even almost mortal wounds, seemed to walk in hand to hand with Arthur and Merlin. It did not help that Arthur could be both alarmingly reckless and distressingly self-sacrificial, risking his life with no thought of the consequences. Given the number of times Arthur has been in danger recently or came too close to dying for Leon's comfort, not to mention the nature of their actual quest, Leon thought his concern for Arthur's well-being was justified.

It was difficult not to notice his Prince's silent suffering. It was hard to watch the genuine heartbreak in that usually composed, strong face. More emotion than Leon had ever seen combined in the years he had known Arthur.

He- just like the others: Gwaine, Percival, Elyan and Lancelot- has always known that despite his behavior, Arthur cared deeply for Merlin. That these two have always had a very strange and very strong emotional connection, and Leon suspected it was even more than that. He wasn't sure about the depths and nature of that bond, but...

He would never say that out loud. None of them would. Sure, sometimes, when the mood was light enough, between the four of them they made teasing comments about Arthur's and Merlin's unusual relationship. But there always has been a raised, red flag about the nature and limit of those teasing. Usually, he wouldn't touch the 'Merlin situation' with a ten-foot pole. He knew Merlin was the only one allowed that kind of openness toward Arthur, the only one Arthur accepted that kind of talk from. He also knew that Merlin was the only one Arthur opened up for, and the only one possessing Arthur's complete and utter trust.

But after days of nearly perfect silence from Arthur, unnatural and deep, there was no more chance to ignoring it, even if the man himself wanted him to. It was the final straw for Leon to break his own rule.

Arthur had never been exactly chatty before, but at some point, Leon can't say when, their constant teasing and bickering with Merlin or their murmured private chats, became natural and expected, a reassuring, light-hearted background noise. And now, the absence of that made Arthur's quietness the more noticeable and heavy.

From the minute Merlin's horse took him away, Arthur said no more than, yes, no, thank you, fine or instructed a series of orders.

He tried to read Arthur's expression, but as far as he could tell, there was nothing but grief and tension; building brick by brick, with a desperate attempt to tamp it under a stoic face. It hurted Leon to see the grief, Arthur tried too hard, to hide away from his knights. See the way he was stricken with all the losses that they've dealt with in the past two days.

Usually, he would walk away when that type of Arthur's defense was up. Usually, he'd know it wasn't his place and it would only induce Arthur's resentment or self-righteous anger if addressed on personal matters. But, even knowing all that-he did anyway- began to walk toward Arthur.

Standing before his Prince, he hesitated only for a second before he said gently. " You did the right thing, you know. Merlin couldn't have continued with us."

Arthur shook then bowed his head. " Should've saved him," he said quietly, voice rough and loaded with guilt.

" If anyone can take Merlin back to Camelot, Lancelot can," Leon said, trying to sound more reassuring than he really felt.

Maybe it wasn't the right thing to say because there was a momentarily tickle in Arthur's muscle and Leon could see from his expression that his words only twisted the knife.

It was difficult to walk away from Arthur, but Leon knew there was nothing more he could do or say to ease the horrifying burden Arthur was currently carrying.

Chapter 3

Notes:

I used the deleted scene because I liked it better than the one we saw on the show.
I might add one more chapter with Arthur's Pov and a bit of a smut. Haven't decided yet...

...

" Lancelot?" Arthur asks, and on the next breath, " How is Merlin?"

" Bad news..." Lancelot starts, and Leon's heart is constricting painfully in his chest. A sick-sour taste is burning the back of his throat at the possible meaning of those two short words.

When he glances toward Arthur: the sharp intake of his Prince's breath, the way his expression morphs into a mix of pure horror and anguish, the trembling of his lips and the little sway of his feet is painful to watch. For a split of a second Leon has a very distinct sensation that Arthur might be going to crumple to the floor.

But then, Lancelot shrugs and with a wide smile announces, "- He is still alive."

And Merlin sways in and relief washes over Leon like a wave, easing the harrowing sense of loss that's threatened to choke him since Lancelot's ( the bastard) prank.

As soon as he enters, Merlin has eyes only for Arthur, looking straight at him from across the room. His face's splitting into the widest smile Leon had ever seen on his face, spreading over his features like the sun rising after a long, dark night and his eyes shining even brighter through all the emotions he has for his prat.

Even Leon has to concede that the way Merlin's face lights up and his eyes are crinkling, he looks somehow beautiful and adorable.

Leon hears as a deep and long, shaky breath rushes out of Arthur's chest, he's been probably holding in since Lancelot's appearance. And when he turns to look at his Prince, he notices that the corners of the other man's mouth are quivering before it slowly turns up into a gentle smile, then, transforms into a genuine, happy grin. His eyes are fixated on Merlin and the look on Arthur's face is a mix of pure joy, relief, awe, and wonder. He takes a wobbly step towards Merlin then stops. His voice is thick and only shake a little when Merlin's name breaks through his lips.

" Merlin,"

Something soft and warm unfurls in Leon's chest. He had never seen both his Prince and his best friend look as blissfully happy as they look in that moment. He smiles, clearing his throat as he swallows a laugh. Because it's obvious that neither of them seems to have any sort of awareness of the fact that they've been beaming at each other for long-long seconds. Much-much longer than considered acceptable in the company of others.

And if it hasn't been self-evident to all five of them before that there was something more than friendship between Arthur and his manservant-if any of them had any doubts about how deep Arthur's feeling towards Merlin run- if anybody harboured the slightest uncertainty if Arthur was smitten with Merlin in a strictly not friendly way- the scene before them surely confirmed the last doubts any of them ever had about that.

Then Gwaine gets his arms around Merlin, clutching him tightly to his body, breaking whatever haze these two have been under.

Merlin gets hugged by everyone. And when it's his turn, the feel of Merlin's body: warm and solid beneath his hands, let Leon breath more freely than he had in the past couple of days.

And while Merlin goes from his friends' hand to hand, through it all, Arthur doesn't seem to be able to tear his gaze away from Merlin's face. Like he is afraid Merlin will disappear at the very second, he takes his eyes away. Like, he still can't believe the miracle before him.

Standing aside, he's waiting patiently with a contemplative smile. When Merlin finally stands before him, the two of them share another over-long, emotional look, communicating with each other in their unique way, without the use of words. When Arthur speaks at least, his voice is steady and aiming for something casual.

"It's good to see you, Merlin," Arthur says, using his serious voice that he usually reserves for his courtiers. But his efforts at nonchalance are belied by the unabashed fondness in his eyes.

" Yeah. It's good to see you too." Merlin replies in the same manner.

And that's when Arthur finally breaks. His hand catches and curls around the back of Merlin's neck, fingers lingering against his skin. Then he hugs Merlin right there in the open, longer than he probably should, and when they pull apart, he only lets go to clasp Merlin's face in his hands. Because obviously Arthur just can't stop touching his manservant.

He just can't.

And when Leon turns his head to look at his friends, he notices that the corners of Gwaine's mouth are quivering with a badly suppressed, knowing smile. And they're all pretending that they don't see the way Arthur's thumb brushing and stopping over the thrum of Merlin' pulse while something full and deep swirling in his eyes.

...

The events of the last couple of days caught up with Leon and he passed out rather quickly, but when he is waking up with an aching head and a sore neck and a bruise on his side from the hard floor, it must be still in the middle of the night, because he can see the stars high through the window. The logs in the fire are creaking and the room lightens when its flames flicker up. Leon shifts his weight and rubs his hand over his face and he is about to sit up when he hears a soft mumble from the fire and cuts himself off.

When he glances up, he sees Merlin and Arthur still sitting by the fire, engrossed in a quiet conversation, their faces visible as the flames slicing before them. And despite the burden of the guest before them, the air feels intimate and cozy around them, and Arthur's expression is content and light-hearted for the first time since...since the dorocha's attack taunted them with Merlin's death.

So, no matter how extremely uncomfortable his current position is, Leon tips his head back against the cold floor and closes his eyes, not wanting to alert them to his awareness and disrupt their privacy.

"All the things I faced, I've never been worried about dying," Arthur admits quietly, and Leon is surprised by the openness and vulnerability in his voice. Though he doesn't know why, because while usually Arthur refrains from showing weakness in front of others, he always suspected that Merlin was prone to this softer, tenuous, more vulnerable side of him.

"Don't think, you should be now," Merlin answers gently.

"Sometimes, you do, puzzle me," Arthur says, and Leon knows by the tone he's trying to pull off funny over serious, but Leon is sure- as it often happens, where Merlin is concerned- the amusement doesn't reach all the way to Arthur eyes, where usually something deeper blends into those blue irises.

"You never fathomed me out?" Merlin asks, and Leon can imagine that he's quirking an eyebrow in that cheeky way of his.

"No." And there is a weight in Arthur's voice.

"Well...-" Merlin starts, "I was told if things had been different, we'd have been good friends."

A soft, sad look crosses Arthurs' face and he clears his throat. "Yeah..." he sighs finally, sounding defeated.

"If you weren't such an arrogant, pompous, dollophead," Merlin adds and his voice's a little lighter, curling up at the edges like he's smiling.

Arthur huffs under his breath and when Leon chances a quick glance, he sees Arthur rolling his eyes and shaking his head at Merlin in that exasperated but fond way, he has only for him. A smile tugs the corner of his mouth until he can't hold it in anymore and sputters out a laugh. A rare, deep rumbling chuckle, Leon hasn't heard from him in ages.

In response, Merlin's mouth turns up into a small smile, but his eyes are beaming. They stare at each other for a minute, long enough for Leon to feel like the air becomes static, crackling around them with all the unspoken feelings they must have in their hearts.

A dull ache starts to chew a hole in Leon's chest. A heavy sadness is crowding up into his throat until it twists into a knot, so tight, Leon feels like he can barely breathe through it. His eyes are stinging.

He's sad for his friends. But, he's angry too. He feels furious at the unfairness of it all. These two people are the best, the most compassionate men he has ever known. And after everything Arthur and Merlin has given, after every sacrifice they've made- this is what it comes to.

When he dares another look, he sees the way Merlin's face changes. A complicated look crosses his face, a mix of anger and pensiveness and sadness. "That's what you have to remember..." there is a long stretch of silence before Merlin continues. "-Things never turn out how you expect." His eyes are closing on Arthur's, he opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. Finally, he manages, "- We'll see.."

Arthur's eyes keep searching Merlin's face with a bit of a wonder thrown into them.

Merlin sighs long and deep. "We'll defeat the dorocha. We'll. Together." He declares with deep conviction.

"I appreciate that," Arthur says softly, then he fumbles around in his bag at his feet. When he finds what he was looking for, he is sitting up straight and showing it to Merlin. "That's belonged to my mother. Bears her sigil. " He makes a soft, sad noise. " Here-" he starts,

Merlin gasp out loud, "Arthur I can't-"

"Just...take it." Arthur insists and he is sounding weirdly uptight.

A startled noise catching in the back of Leon's throat, and it takes years of serving in the court as an impartial knight of the law, for him to keep it down. Surely, Arthur is not implying—no, surely he must be misreading this. It can't be...because Arthur must be fully aware of the meaning of this.

And when Leon looks there, he's pretty sure he's not imagining it: the way a hot flush of color burns up Arthur's jaw and into his cheeks.

And sure enough, when he evaluates his Prince's expression, there is something, he hadn't been expecting. Arthur's face is a mix of a trembling hope and sheer determination, combined with a half-terrified look as if he is fearing rejection.

But he never had to worry about that. Even though Merlin was gaping at him with a wide-eyed surprise for a long minute, and he looked a split second from fainting ( and it was killing Leon not to crack up) -the initial shock slowly morphs into awe and wonder, and Merlin's face splits up into a beautiful smile, and his gaze is even brighter from the moisture gathering in his soulful eyes.

Leon doesn't even bother to hide his grin this time. The way these two are lost in each other eyes, there is absolutely no danger they would be aware of him.

:

Their eyes still locked, slowly, Merlin stretches out a hand and accepts the token of Arthur's love.

Arthur leans in and places the sigil in Merlin's palm, then covers Merlin's hand with his and laces their fingers together. He slowly reaches for Merlin's other hand and brushes his thumb over Merlin's wrist.

Merlin takes in a shaky breath, " Arthur, what—" he breathes,

" Merlin.. " Arthur says softly and sighs under his breath. He hunches closer to Merlin, cupping Merlin's face in his hand and stroking his fingers across Merlin's cheek, along his jaw, then slides his hand to the back of Merlin's neck and tucks his thumb behind Merlin's ear. His eyes roaming over Merlin's face and there is something more…what could you even call it? Something fuller, deeper, softer, with a crinkle at the corners of his eyes that Leon recognizes now as his Prince's tell for his adoration and love. " -Shut up, " Arthur whispers with a tender smile, shaking his head. Then he leans in and kisses Merlin, soft and long and thorough.

Merlin makes a soft, surprised noise into the kiss, but he grabs and twists the front of Arthur's chain mail with both hands, pulling him closer.

...

Leon gaps at them for three solid seconds until it occurs to him, that it's his cue to close his eyes.

After the combination of shock and delight, the sight called forth in him, something warm bubbles up in Leon's chest then spreads over into his heart.

They'd been circling around this for years - Leon knew that much- and after everything he witnessed in the last days, it was painfully clear that Arthur was in love with his manservant.

It had shocked him, only in that he never expected Arthur to ever act on it. He just never figured anything would come of it. Arthur was too good at suppressing his feelings, and he was too unselfish, too loyal for his own good and had a tendency to sacrifice his happiness for what he considered the best for Camelot and her people. So, Leon was expecting to suffer from the sexual tension between these two until the end of the world.

He smiles when he chances a quick look and sees Arthur catching a slightly dazed Merlin's hand and pulling him up and out of the room, away from possible prying eyes.

Right now everything is quiet and dark, there is nobody else up yet. Just the three of them. Maybe, Merlin and Arthur can have this tonight, just this once, get it out of their systems before their world might go down tomorrow. Maybe, for now, these two can have a bit of happiness after everything they've been through. Because, damn right, of all the people in the world, these two deserve that.

And it is evident that the ultimate happiness for Arthur and Merlin means the other.

So, who is Leon to judge that, he thinks with a happy, wide smile, and finally shifts onto his other side.