A/N: Alright so this is my first Star Trek fanfic! It's a Spirk one! So I don't exactly know what this is so far, but it's kind of going to be some points of the movie from Spock's POV. Kind of but not really because there is going to slashy goodness! Also, each chapter is going to have it's own individual rating and the rating for this one is K+This chapter is just me kind of setting the mood for the whole story, it's not really that relevant to the overall story, but it does explain Spock's mindset. Anyways, please enjoy and REVIEW!
On a side note to anybody who is reading my Covered In Honey fanfic, yes, I do plan on finishing it, my Ouran muse has just decided to take a very long vaction. I'm hoping this story will hlep clear my mind and get me back on track with that story. Anyways, love you all and hope you all like it!
Spock lay down on his bed, eyes closed and hands folded over his chest. All days were a challenge that the eleven year old half Vulcan half human willingly embraced. However, today something had happened that he never would have anticipated. He wasn't quite sure why it happened, after all he was plenty used to the torment administered by the other Vulcan boys.
In fact, he looked forward to the daily bullying. It was a chance to prove that he could keep his emotions in check as well as any other pureblood Vulcan. All eleven years of his life had been spent trying to show that he could be just as smart and logical as any other Vulcan. He was intelligent, even by Vulcan standards and maintained the cool, calm disposition of one. He could even be mistaken for a full Vulcan if it weren't for his "sad human eyes", as his tormenters called them.
Spock lightly touched his bottom lip with his small hand and felt the newly formed scab beneath his fingertips, a reminder of his recent fight. However, a split lip and a couple bruises on his face wasn't that much, considering he had taken on three older boys. For a fleeting moment, he felt just a touch of pride, but he quickly dispelled that though with disgust. Allowing his emotions to cloud his judgment was what got him in this mess in the first place. Perhaps he had felt too confident in his ability to keep his emotions in check, which was why he was so unprepared for the sudden onslaught of feelings he had felt when they called his father a traitor and his mother a whore.
Spock himself had always questioned his parents' marriage. There seemed to be no tactical advantage to their union. His father had not gained prestige or status in marrying his mother, if anything he had lost some. Why an esteemed member of the Vulcan Science Academy would choose to marry a human was beyond any of Sarek's colleagues. Just minutes ago, Spock's father had said that as ambassador to Earth, it was only logical to marry one of its inhabitants. Getting to know the people of the planet that you were ambassador to was logical sure, but Spock saw no logic in marrying one. He was aware that his father loved his mother, but he had never really thought about it. He for sure knew that his mother loved his father; after all, she was quite a bit less subtle in displaying her affections for both him and her son.
Spock's dark eyebrows knit together as is thoughts became deeper. Because his father had lets his feelings for his human mother go unchecked, his life had become more chaotic then necessary. No longer did Vulcan's look at Sarek and think of him as an accomplished ambassador and a reputable member of Vulcan Science Academy, but rather they viewed him as a confused individual who had illogically mixed his professional life into his personal one. But Spock knew that was just a nice way of saying his father was a traitor, a rip in the fabric of the Vulcan's perfect and unmarred society.
Yet knowing this, Sarek had still pursued a relationship with Amanda, which eventually resulted in Spock. There was no logic behind this couple, Spock finally concluded. And all because of one certain destructive and tricky emotion called love.
So, Spock decided, love was a horrible disadvantage which must be avoided at all costs. It was dangerous, possibly even lethal. It only seemed logical to avoid that emotion as much as possible. Of course he couldn't help but love his parents, but at that moment, Spock decided never again to let love, or any other emotion gain control of him. And if he ever did have the unfortunate luck of falling in love with someone, those feelings would stay suppressed.
After a few moments, Spock drifted off to sleep, feeling relaxed and content with his new, private oath. Never again would he lose control of his emotions. He had made a choice to embrace the Vulcan lifestyle, and he would not be deterred.