You know how that wedding saying goes? Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something to bash Ron over the head with when he stares at Fleur…Okay so maybe it doesn't go like that exactly but you get the point, right?

SOMETHING OLD

Harry, Ron, and I weren't always best friends. In fact, for the first two months of school, we were practically enemies.

However, that all changed on Halloween night. They were so brave, charging into that bathroom to protect me from the troll…come to think of it, they were also very, very stupid as they were the ones who locked me in there in the first place…

Anyway, ever since then, we've been the best of friends, and I love them both to de… wait a minute…

WHAT?

Did I just say I loved them?

Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, NO!

Harry, well, he's always been like a brother to me, and I love him in that sisterly way.

And let's just say, I'm not one for incest.

But RON?

Ron, well, he's Ron.

Oh yes, Hermione. Brilliant observation, almost as cunning and clever as Ron's deduction that I was, in fact, a girl.

Did I just say that I loved him?

This can't be good.

Wait, think back, Hermione.

Since when do you love Ron

Well…I guess…since always.

I can trace back possible signs of affection pretty far back, in retrospect.

Well, I pretty much figured out I liked him in fourth year…but has it been even longer than that?

And that was just simple attraction … when did that turn into love?

What am I going to do, what am I going to do?

I mean, it's not like he feels the same, he's proven that with his failure to realize my gender and Lavender Brown…ooh how I hate her…

SEE? Do you SEE what this means, Hermione?

You don't hate someone who dated your best friend, unless you happen to, well, love the friend in question…

This can't be good…

I guess my feelings for Ron are pretty old, they've been six years in the making, and now…they've turned into love.

Bill and Fleur's wedding is tomorrow, and I just know that complete prat won't be able to take his eyes off of…

"Fleur…er…hello…" I stammer, awaking from my reverie.

"Allo," she says, sitting down next to me.

We sit in silence for a few moments, until she finally speaks.

"Eet eez zat Weasley boy zat you are thinking of, eez Eet not?" she asks conversationally.

I jump up, astounded.

"W-what…h-how did you…"

She laughs, a tinkling light and airy laugh.

"I think zat it eez obvious to us all," she informs me, "Zat you are quite in love with zee boy…"

WHAT?

Did she just say they KNOW I love him?

Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, NO!

Ron must be sharper than I give him credit for, he's probably got it all figured out, he's probably laughing about it upstairs with Harry right now, 'Oh isn't it droll, Hermione Granger in love with little old me, right laugh in't it, Harry?' This is NOT good, not at all, not one bit. I'll have to move to France, maybe go back to Dijon…maybe even America…

Fleur seems to sense my panic.

"Relax," she says, laughing again. "Zee boy, 'e eez clueless."

I feel a surge of unprecedented affection for her. Usually she just drives me bonkers, but maybe she's not that bad after all…

"…But I think zat you are also quite clueless…" Fleur continues.

"WHAT?" I roar, all of that warmth flying right out the window.

She smirks. "I only meant zat you are blind to zee fact zat 'e just might feel zee same."

She exits the room, leaving me with my very confused brain.

Forget girls writing a book for boys on all the mad things we do.

It's boys who are the confusing ones…