Studio 60
On The Sunset Strip
"Deep Breath Before the Plunge"
Characters created and owned by Aaron Sorkin
Story by Andrew DeFazio
Chapter One
If The Fall Doesn't Kill You, The Press Will
Danny Tripp looked at Jordan McDeere who sat in front of him in his office. They had been discussing publicity for the show. They had been doing this for five minutes.
"Veto," Jordan said as she crossed out a sentence on the paper. "I don't think that Matt wants his relationship out in the open. Especially after what happened last time."
"Matt's not in a relationship with Harriet anymore," Danny said looking up at Jordan. "Why would you write that on the page and then veto it?"
"I didn't put it on the page you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Then who did?"
"I don't know why are you asking me all these questions all of a sudden. Matt is my best friend and I wouldn't want to make something up out of the blue like you do."
"I didn't do it."
"Then who did?"
"We are back to square one now."
"Knock, knock," Cal Shanley said as he entered the room. "What are you guys talking about?" He looks down at Jordan's paper and sees the thing about Matt's relationship. "Matt is in a relationship again?"
"No, he isn't," Danny answered.
"Well he is because Danny put it on the paper and he knows everything there is to know on Matt Albie," Jordan said.
"He is not in a relationship," Danny said.
"Who isn't?" Matt Albie asked as he entered the room. "I want to join in on the schoolhouse rumor."
"They think you are involved with someone," Cal said.
"Cal!" Jordan shouted.
"What?" Matt asked as his smile turned to a frown. "When the hell did this happen to me? When did I get involved with anyone?"
"They think you are involved with Harriet," Cal answered. "Again."
"What?" Matt asked again.
"I never said that," Danny said as he pointed at Jordan. "She did."
"I did not," Jordan said standing up and throwing her paper on the chair. "It was on the paper when I got it."
"And who put it there?" Matt asked.
"Harriet," Cal said.
"Who would…Harriet?" Matt asked.
"This is a conspiracy," Cal said. "How could I not think that?"
"You are so naïve," Jordan said. "I'm out." She leaves the room and starts to walk down the hall. Danny comes to run after her.
"Jordan!" he shouts as he catches up. "How is the…you know what?"
"Danny," Jordan said pulling Danny aside. "I told you not to talk about it when others are around."
"I couldn't help it," Danny said as Cal walked over.
"Now what are you talking about?" he asked.
Danny thinks for a moment then says, "Peaches, Georgia's best fruit."
"I don't get it," Cal said. "How do you go from Matt in a relationship to peaches?"
"We just do," Danny said as he noticed Jordan had left. "Jordan!"
Cal stands there a moment before Matt walked over and asked, "Do you think I have the sensitivity of a head of cabbage?"
"Why ask?" Cal asked.
"Harriet said I did when it was my first week back."
"Then why bring it up now?"
Matt waits and minute then says, "I like cabbage."
"What kind of cabbage?" Cal asked as they started to walk down the hall.
"There are kinds of cabbage?"
"I don't know. Where are we going?"
"Where are you going?"
"Where you were going."
"Oh."
"So where are you going?"
"To see Harriet."
"Why?"
"I want to ask her what kind of cabbage I am."
"You are making fun of me, right?"
"Yeah."
"So you aren't going to see Harriet?"
"No I am."
Matt walks away and Cal shakes his head and said, "I guess it is true what they say, if the fall doesn't kill you the press will."
Chapter Two
Cabbage, My Harriet, And Me
Simon Stiles, Tom Jeter, and Harriet Hayes sat in their favorite bar that was only a couple miles from the studio.
"I love Tuesdays," Simon said as he watched three women walk past him. "Wow. I wish I could get a date."
"You are a celebrity," Harriet said. "Everyone wants to date celebrities."
"Nobody wants to date me," Tom said.
"Well just look at you compared to me," Simon joked.
"Hahaha," Tom said sarcastically.
"I'm just messing with you," Simon said.
"I know," Tom replied. "But seriously nobody wants to date me. I have tried to pick up three women and all have turned me down."
"Do they know who you are?" Harriet asked.
"No," Tom replied.
"There is the problem," Simon said. "You have to let the world know who you are even if you have to shout it to the mountains."
"What mountains?" Tom asked.
"I don't know, go find a mountain," Simon said. He thought for a moment and then said, "It was a metaphor."
"Little late," Harriet said.
"Really?" Simon asked.
"Just a little," Harriet said.
"I see," Simon said standing up. "Well, time for me to go make a hit on one of the beautiful women." He walked away over to the three women.
"What a pig," Harriet said as she laughed.
"Harriet," Tom coughed. "Sorry."
"Shut up," she said. She looked at the bartender. "Another round."
"Okay," Matt said. "I want you guys to visualize the sketch." He paused and closed his eyes like he was meditating. "See it, feel it, love it."
Darius Hawthorne and Lucy Kenwright exchange looks. Lucy breaks the silence saying, "How is this supposed to help us?"
"Visualize," Matt said as he ignored Lucy. "Breathe in." He breathed in. "And breathe out." He breathed out and opened his eyes. "Did that help?"
"No," Darius answered.
"Okay then," Matt said. "Then you think of a better way to get an idea for a sketch in this situation."
Andy Mackinaw walked into the writing room and took his seat, "I can't believe this. I cannot believe this."
"What?" Matt asked. "This is show and tell time."
"They said our last show was below standards," Andy answered.
"Some shows are better than others," Matt said. "That is the way it happens."
"I look at all our shows being great," Darius said.
"Nobody asked your opinion yet," Matt said.
"Fine," Darius said.
"Okay what are your opinions?" Matt asked pointing at Darius and Lucy.
"There is no time for this," Andy said. "We need to find out what was wrong?"
"Maybe it was a sketch?" Lucy said.
"You don't say?" Matt asked sarcastically.
"I do say," Lucy answered smiling at Matt.
"I see you also take sarcasm 101," Matt said as he smiled back.
"Can we get back on topic?" Andy asked.
"I sense flirting," Darius said.
"Okay," Matt said. "We will find what sketch they didn't like. Okay, Andy?"
"Fine," Andy replied. "What are we doing?"
"I see a beach," Matt said. "With a pile of cabbage there."
"Cabbage?" Lucy asked.
"Okay here is how it goes," Matt started. "Andy, Lucy, and Darius, you guys will find what sketch made our reviews worse than other ones we had."
"And what are you doing?" Darius asked.
"To see Harriet," Matt said as he left the room.
Jack Rudolph stood in his office. He was pacing around the room, nervous about what Jordan wanted to meet with him about. She had a strange tone in her voice, which was the main reason Jack was nervous.
Jordan entered the room and immediately said, "There is a question I have been dying to ask you because apparently I'm the center of a dirty rumor because of this."
"What is it?" Jack asked.
"Somebody wants to release to the press that Matt is in a relationship with someone," Jordan answered.
"Didn't this happen already?" Jack asked.
"It is happening again," Jordan began. "And I am being blamed."
"So?" Jack asked.
"Fix it," Jordan said.
"I don't control rumors, Jordan," Jack said. "Why don't you go and the little kids on the playground you don't want to be picked on anymore, and get back to work."
Jordan shook her head and exited the room as she mumbled. Jack sat down at his desk and sighed.
It was going to be a long day.
Harriet and Tom entered back into the studio. Simon had abandoned them at the bar to go off with the three women who all wanted to hang out with him. That is when they knew it was time to go.
"How long until those three women get bored of Simon?" Tom asked.
"Three hours," Harriet answered. "Four if he is lucky."
"Harriet!" Matt shouted as he tripped running towards her. He got up casually. "Where have you been?"
"What are you my mother?" Harriet questioned.
"You think I'm a woman?" Matt asked.
"What is this?" Tom asked. "Jeopardy, with all these questions?"
"You are asking questions too," Matt said.
"I'm just going to leave," Tom said as he walked away.
"What do you want?" Harriet asked.
"I should ask the same of you," Matt replied.
"You were the one who was calling out my name," Harriet said.
"Cal wanted me to ask you what kind of cabbage I am," Matt replied.
"There are different types of cabbages?" Harriet asked.
"I don't know," Matt answered.
"Then why ask?" Harriet asked.
"Cal wanted me to," Matt answered again.
"Well tell him if he wants to know he can ask himself," Harriet said.
"Okay," Matt said. "I wanted to know."
"I thought so," Harriet said.
"You knew the entire time didn't you?" Matt asked.
"I did," Harriet answered.
"Okay," Matt said.
"Okay."
Okay?"
"Okay," Harriet answered as she walked away.
"I bet she was the one who wrote that I was in a relationship with someone," Matt told himself. "I wonder…"
Jordan entered the studio and noticed Matt standing there. "What are you doing now, Matt?"
"Picture me dancing," Matt answered. He then left to go back to the writing room.
"With wolves," Jordan mumbled as she went towards her office.
Chapter Three
Notes Are A Scandal
Tuesday Afternoon
"I still have not found out who said I am in a relationship," Matt announced in the writing room. "How long will this last?"
"Can we get onto the real task?" Andy asked.
"Okay then," Matt answered. "What is the task at hand?"
Cal enters the room. "Matt, we need to talk about the conspiracy. I think there was a second shooter."
"Do you even know who the first is?" Matt asked.
"Lee Harvey Oswald?" Cal guessed.
"No."
"Oops," Cal said. "Come on. I need to talk to you about serious matters. Just come on so you can get back to work after."
"What is this?" Andy asked.
"Nothing," Matt replied. "So, Cal, what is the important matter?"
"Duck," Cal answered.
"Duck?"
"I'll explain on the way to Danny's office," Cal shot back. "Just come on. Bye guys. Come on, Matt."
"Continue working," Matt said as he and Cal exited the room.
"What was that all about?" Lucy asked.
"I think there is a duck lose in the building," Darius said. Andy and Lucy looked at him. "It was just a guess. He said to work."
"I didn't," Danny said as Martha O' Dell sat down on his couch. "I didn't right that Matt was in a relationship. As hard as you would find that to believe it is true."
"I seriously doubt that," Martha replied.
"You are going to release that?"
"I'll see."
"See what?" Matt asked as he entered the room. "So what is it about this duck situation that Cal was telling me about?"
"Duck?" Danny asked looking at Cal.
"It wasn't me." Cal ran out of the room like Speedy Gonzalez.
"So, there is no duck?" Matt asked.
"No there isn't," Danny answered sitting down. "Apparently that was just a story Cal concocted to get you here."
"So why am I really here?" Matt asked as he noticed Martha. "Oh, that's why. I have nothing to say about this entire situation."
"I'm not here for that, Matt," Martha said. "Don't judge me because of my past."
"Sorry I have a tendency to do that," Matt said.
"Take a seat," Danny said.
"I'm good," Matt said. "I like to stand."
"No you don't."
"You're right I don't, but I don't want to sit."
"Fine."
"Matt, I heard about the situation with Harriet and Luke," Martha started. "How are you holding up or are you not going to answer that because of my past?"
"Very funny, but I'm not answering," Matt said as he sat down.
"Can we get to the point here?" Danny asked.
"I don't know what the point is," Matt began. "Please tell me before I walk out of this office to talk to Harriet."
"Get over her," Martha muttered.
"I didn't ask your opinion," Matt said.
"Enough with this bickering," Danny said standing up. "The point of the meeting is that we are here to discuss the notes."
"What notes?" Matt asked.
"The notes you wrote about Harriet," Danny replied.
"I never wrote any notes," Matt said.
"The plot thickens," Martha said as Matt and Danny continued to stare at each other in shock.
Jack was about to get really mad. All he had been hearing about was Matt and the rumor of his relationship. First from Jordan now from the press. Nothing was going right for him.
Wilson White sat across from him reading the comics. He was laughing as he read The Peanuts, one of his favorites.
"We need to control this situation, Jack," Wilson said as he continued to read. "We can't let these public bureaucrats turn our staff into idiots. We need this fixed."
"I know, but I don't find it as a top priority," Jack replied.
"What are you talking about? They will be badmouthing an executive producer of the top show in LA and you say it isn't a top priority? It is the top of the cake. It is the icing."
"I just don't see it that way."
"Learn to," Wilson said. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Think about reevaluating the situation."
Wilson got up and left Jack alone with his thoughts. Once again he knew he was a trouble. And now he had to fight his way out.
"I can't believe this," Matt said. "This just keeps progressing. What is next I will have a website about my personal life."
"Well…" Danny started.
"Are you serious!" Matt shouted jumping out of his seat. "This is not right at all. We need to fix this and fast."
"What do you want us to do?" Danny asked. "We don't know who is doing this. I don't know how we can stop something like that."
"Find a way," Matt said. "Anyway, just call me when it is done."
Matt leaves the room as Danny says, "Well that went well."
"Doubted, but who knows with Matt as your friend," Martha said. 'I could've gone well in his outlook."
"I heard that!" Matt shouted from down the hall.
"Wow," Martha said.
"Yeah," Danny said. "He has great hearing."