"Uncle, don't eat that cactus."
Iroh puts down the yummy cactus. But he sneaks a bite in.
They walk on some more. They are in Earth nation now.
Iroh is suffering from 'I ATE THE BROWN CACTUS, MOFO' syndrome. He's gone partially insane.
"Uncle, is it really such a good idea to wear cow costumes if we're trying to not be conspicuous?"
"Meremeremeremereuououou ragh rafgay rjshjd ryu. Ryu ryu ryu ryuuuuuuoioiohg ghgh gh gh ghu? GHU!"
"I see."
Zuko zips up fly.
"I would not have noticed that. No wonder why everybody was looking at me."
Although the Earth villagers continue to stare at the travellers passing by, Zuko is confident that the only reason they would stare is because of unzipped pants.
"Pafnts! Rerruhuhihf! Huhruhsbububui."
"Yes, Uncle, I know that my udders are somewhat not as perky as yours but no reason to brag about it!"
"He he he he heh!" Iroh cradles a rock precariously.
And so Azula and her little gang of whoever-the-heck-she-got-to-obey-her-this-time would've never guessed that the cows they were going to eat were actually a high-off-his-ass Uncle and Zuko.
"Entourage!"
A person mutters the fact that he/she has a name.
Azula burns that person.
"Prepare the soy sauce! They will be beef tonight!"
Azula's entourage circles Zuko and Iroh. Zuko and Iroh are on the verge of pooping theirselves. But they hold back on account of high dry cleaning bills. Who would want to pay high dry cleaning bills?
"Moo?"
"Rafnuck casrenia!"
"Silence, uncle!"
Uncle devises a plan that may possibly save them both from being cannibalized.
He lifts up the remote control sized rock in his hoof to the heavens! A golden light shines and a chorus sings! Doves fly! Birds cheep! Ducks fart!
"Roofnaguh fuououo,b dhfh aearehyu hui hiuh huh hu hu huu huh huh," In his mind, Iroh was reciting the life tale of Richard, the stony, and explaining what he must do next and the importance of his sacrifice.
"yu grei fh gjkjkajadSHOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Iroh ate the rock!
Grandma got runover by a reindeer!
Azula looked to the two cows and said 'screw it'. They ran away. From cows. What the f-
"Uncle..."
Zuko recalls the countless times he called his uncle things along the lines of fool, old, and retard, and immediately takes it all back.
"Woof woof!"
Maybe not the last one.
"UNCLE!!!!!!" Zuko rushes in for the warm hug and smiley faces!
"Lu Teeeeeeeeeeeen!" Uncle runs away from the ghost of his dead son. But he runs back after he realized that Zuko is not his dead son coming back to kill him with a burning tooth pick. "Zuuuuuuuuuukaaaaaa!"
And so the two former fire nation royalty hugged and bonded in father-and-not-son bonding. The villagers wondered why the heck cows were making out.
But one dude decided to capitalize on this.
"Woohoo! Youtube material! Cows Gone crazy on DVD!"
But then Zuko looked down at his udders and got the sudden urge for cookies and milk...
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN!
Approximately ten minutes to write and totally worth it!