Every now and then, Faize would think of that day - the day everything ended, that he had lost his way, his meaning. Those that lead up to it were no better. Edge had been his friend, the only one he truly felt he could talk to, who he could depend on. The Eldarian still felt that heartache when he remembered how easily his anchor had broken, crushed under the weight of a responsibility he was not ready for, yet so eager to embrace for the sake of his bravado which stemmed from a relationship with a man Faize had only met once. He still remembered Edge's screaming - it resonated in his head, never to leave him. He recalled how the man became listless, a ghost of his former self, terrified to make a single move.
Like a child.
Faize had distanced himself then, and to this day he regretted that decision. After all, Edge had Reimi, and she had been so demanding with her own insecurities, her selfishness. It flared anger in him even now. So he had put the both of them aside, resorting to pure professionalism. It hadn't lasted, but not for lack of trying. When she had fallen ill, Faize had tried once again to connect with Edge. It failed. And then, there had been her. He had never known her name, yet he had never needed to. She had been warm, had been kind to him when all others were fixed on their own issues. His interest in joining her tribe had not been solely for that of research - he had wanted to know the mechanics of that symbol, yes, but friendship with her seemed on the height of his intent. She, as well as her people, were peaceful, traditional, and everything he could have wished for.
And then, just like that, she was gone.
He had broken then, shattered from the inside, like a doll with a heart of glass. He had almost liked it, he realized. The feeling of numbness was astoundingly beautiful, and in that moment he found himself more in touch with his race than he ever had been. So this was what it was like to feel nothing; he reveled in it.
All had spiraled from that. In his desperation to save all, he fell to the demons that wished to return eternity to the void. He decided that their intention was sound, and happily lead the revolution he had willed since his discovery that the universe was not one of peace and knowledge, but of war, murder and hatred. He wanted to change it, and in doing so, make his own universe of tolerance and happiness. He had lost something, and gained in return; a monster from the darkness, he and it one in the same.
He had never told Edge, even when he had defeated him, when he had attempted to rescue him, but he had been so happy then. For the first time since their meeting, all eyes were on him - Edge's eyes were on him. He thought of nothing, no one else. He wanted him, tried to save him. He had never been happier then he had in those final moments. He hadn't expected Edge to remain when he'd let himself fall - he had only wanted to give him the push to run, save himself - but when he called for him he crumbled once more. He stayed, he fell with him, and Faize returned his efforts tenfold.
Those last moments they spent together, he remembered only in part. Fading in and out, dying slowly from his wounds, Faize bid Edge farewell. When SOL left him on the USTA starship it guided it's owner into the depths of space, and he closed his eyes for what he'd imagined would be the final time. His thoughts drifted, the ghosts of all he had killed echoing in his head, as did the thing that remained safely inside him. Defeated, but not destroyed. Faize fell into nothingness with a single thought on his mind, of what would become of Satanail now, of him.
He hadn't expected to wake ever again. How unfortunate that he had.
Loneliness got the better of him eventually. He returned to the one place, the on person he felt he could after all had happened. The only person who understood him; Lymle. She was the closest thing to family, to a sibling he had ever known, and was immeasurably precious to him. But eventually, he left her, too. On Lemuris he remained, far from his brethren, far from his friends. Alone, he would atone for his crimes in secret, haunted by the memories of his mistakes and the devil that lived in him.