Hey go bitch it you dnt like it but I think its ok!
Stood there, staring at the screen with the arrival and departure times of the train I knew I was still not sure if I really wonted to go. This was I knew what was best for everyone else but I was not convinced that it was what was right for me entirely. When I was shore what platform I was getting on and what time the train was coming in I decided to go for a cup of coffee in the café. Dragging the huge haul of cloths and stuff I had I reached the overly orange sign of the café. There were a few tables littered across the small room, some of these tables had people with the noses deep in books or newspapers, but only one table caught my eye. Sat on what looked very uncomfortable red chairs straight out of an eighties dinner with a chrome table to match was a boy sat with his well rounded nose in a book. He looked medium height from what I could see, with the most incredible features. He had dark blue purple eyes sat lightly in his face with pale skin and jet black hair to make his amazing features stand out, with an off set smile to raise his eyes from his book. For a moment that seamed to last forever he caught my eye line making me very aware of where I was. His off set smile crept up his face ever growing in size. His pink lips rolled back in the increasing height of his smile to revile a set of gloriously white teeth. I glanced away increasing the heat in my face particularly in my cheeks. I was blushing. At that point I thought it wise to go to the platform I was meant to be on by the announcement over the speakers calling that my train was going to be the next train to arrive on platform 3. Once again I hauled my bag down the set of never ending stairs. When I reached half way I was sure the load had suddenly grown a lot lighter almost as if I was no longer carrying it. As I turned my head to see what had happened, my blonde hair caught in my eyes making it difficult to see. I removed the hair from my eyes, to catch the face of the insanely beautiful boy from the café who was now helping me carry my bag down the stairs.
"Thank you" I said with an uneasy tone
"I couldn't help but cease the moment a lady needed my help" witch by now I was thinking must be all the time around him and his breath taking good looks. Just able to move my feet I heaved the bag onto the final step and rolled it along to were I needed to be, luckily there was a lift up the platform so I didn't have to clime the steps back up with my bag- I was sure someone had put a body in. the boy had darted the second I turned to say thanks once again for helping me with my bag but he had vanished. As the lift pulled to an uneasy stop with the extra load of me and my bag as well as other passengers of the train, the doors roared open. The train was sat inpaicantly waiting for the last few passengers. I was now sat at a table with four chairs bigger than I needed but maybe someone also going to my stop would sit there and keep me company on the way. As the train started to move I settled into my seat warm and soft on my back. I glanced out my window watching the last of the city views flash away with a last plead for me to change my mind. I knew that would never happen as I had to go now.
"Well it seams that I cant stay away from you" a voice said in a way that seamed like caramel running out of a chocolate. I managed to drag my neck away from the window just to make my decision so much better. The face of that extremely beautiful boy was staring at me with excitement in his eyes.
"Well it would seam that way, wouldn't it?" I said not wonting to see if I left him standing there to long that he would lose that glorious look in his eyes.
"Do you mind?" he said gesturing towards the two chairs opposite that I had made my resting place for my feet. Before I could have agreed he was sitting down placing his small bag at his side in the other chair. Trying to read the other felling going across his face it seamed he was trying to do the same to me.
"So where you off to" he said once he'd caught my eye line again.
"Kewstoke" I said with a slight annoyance in my voice
"It's in Weston-super-Mare you?" I asked politely
"Near there myself. What brings you down this way with such a load?"
"Moving house, I think that seams to balances having such a large heavy bag you?
"Going home, just been down to visit family" he said with his rising smile creeping across his face. He seamed extremely easy to talk to. I let my eyes wonder back to the window I let them creep back out to what was now fields. The lushes green grass was filled with tiny rabbits and the occasional deer. There were some cows as well, I loved watching cows because they always seamed so happy with there simple little lives not knowing that really there were getting fat to be taken to slorter and eaten. He pulled a very large iteam that looked like it was meant for holding music an I was more sure of this as he placed two head phones in his ears, it made my little 4gig mp3 look pathetic. I was sure it was an 80gig just from looking at it, I had seen it in the catalogue when choosing mine for Christmas. This sent a shudder down my back I didn't won't to think about Christmas or any thing that involved my family, although I knew that going to live with my aunty and uncle would not help this as they were both photographers and had hundreds of family photos. I gave myself one look at him before I was going to put my headphones in as well. This I instantly regreated because he was also looking at me, I thought trying to read my face as I thought about bad memories.
" I feel rude for not saying, Hi im Corban what's your mane?" he seamed to have taken the look on my face as I was upset by his rudeness. I think the past year had made my face deceiving to everyone, even me.
" Hi Corban im Lilly"
"Its very nice to meet you Lilly, please excuse my rudeness in not introducing myself" he seamed to be very serious this would have brought a giggle if it weren't for the sweet sent of his breath, I was quite sure that mine did not replace the same sweet smell but rather the opposite. This made my heart race and my face blush because I was even more aware that he was staring at me, but he seamed to be in pain.
"Im sorry did I offend you in some way" before the accident I was not quite so rude but I didn't care anymore. That's the only reason I didn't mind going to live with my aunt and uncle.
"No" his answerer caught me off guard like I had upset him now, but I didn't care I let him get back to his music so his sweet breath would not come over me again. I started to rummage through the songs on my mp3 until I found a very load song that was going to drawn out his being there, that I soon realized was not going to happened I almost came to moving so that I wouldn't have to look at his face and see what he was thinking, not that I cared. The stations seamed to fade into one and I was soon getting ready to leave my seat and this very beautiful man behind I was sure that he wasn't going to get off at this stop, I would have seen him around on my holiday trips up here. As I marched to the door and hauled my bag out of its little hole in the train I knew he was helping me carry it again because it was light again like nothing was there, I didn't bother saying thank you this time because I saw the little cute family that stood there waiting for me, I knew we were on time so I didn't know why they were looking at me so weird. Then the cousin that liked me the least witch happened to be the one I was forced with as I was growing up because he was the same age as me eighteen started running towards me, but when he got close enough he went round me.
"Cor how's you?" he seamed to know the boy that had helped me with my bags twice today. The boy seamed to give me a quick glance that seamed to be a little like frustration like he'd been wonting to talk to me when we got off the train.
"Hey Ben, im good thanks what you doing down here?" this question seamed to be more aimed at me because now the rest of the family had come closer.
"Nothing much just getting family" Ben throw me a look that was not impressed.
"Hey Corban, how are you?" my aunt also seamed to know this lovely boy they were all now listen to wait for the boys reaction but he only seamed to be staring at me more with those frustrated eyes.
"Im good thank you Mrs F" he never left my eyes when he spoke to my aunt.
"Well we will give you a lift back to your house seen as we are here and we have the big car we might as well, we're just going to dive the long way back to give Lilly here a view of the town before she go's off collage tommore"
"Thanks Mrs F I would love a lift" the boy called Corban was going to never take his eyes off me and now he was going in the car with us o that would make my day I was sure. At least being driven home the long way did have some advantages, for one I got to see how far I was going to have to drive the little car I had driven up the week before with most of my stuff before I went back for the rest and to say goodbye, but it also meant that I could find all the pubs and clubs on the way so I knew how far I would have to walk once I got to there house. I loved the fact that I was now eighteen because it meant I could easily forget my troubles of the accident in the pub, drinking I know was not going to solve the guilt I felt with my self but I did other things, more painful and lasting things to make sure I got all the gilt I felt out on myself and not just the people who were in talking distance either. I was glad that my Nan and granddad did not find out about this little habit but I knew that I would not be able to keep it from my aunt very well I was so glad that I had a lot of long and drapy cloths and jackets to cover anything I didn't wont them to see. Once inside there huge house I was taken by the vast amount of light that seamed to shine from every side of the walls. There cream walls now added to the show home feel. I knew my aunt was so glad that all the children had grown up so she could have her show home, with cream walls, dead wood and a fake fire, shed tried to seal the idea to my mum and dad but they were far to in to colour on the walls for that. I could see the bright red paint of the bedroom wall that I had spent the many months after the accident in, under the huge dove that draped over their vast bed. The small photos of me, them and the odd picture of old pets that just like them had died. That room now held not good my miserable memories for me, I knew I had about 30 minutes to find a pub or I was going to start crying right here right now!
"Is it ok if I go walking to get a feel for the place?" I asked in a subdued tone not wonting to hurt their feelings as they were taking me into their home when they didn't have to.
"Sure we can all go together, the dog would love a nice walk along the sea front o Seth get the stuff we need for a walk…"
"Id like to go alone if that's ok? I have a mobile I will ring if I get lost"
"O well that's fine dear you have fun" my aunt seamed reluctant to let me go alone.
"I could walk with her for a bit I am headed in that direction" Ben sighed he didn't wont his friend to have anything to do with me it sounded like.
"That would be very nice of you Corban im sure Lilly wouldn't mind some company for a while" I really did but it seamed that this would get them off my case so I just agreed and garbed my bag with my purse and phone in and headed for the door.
"So witch way you headed?" he seamed to guess my urgency of getting read of him.
"O im not going home im headed to the pub I thought I would join you for a drink" I didn't know if the look on my face had been so obvious as to my surprise that he knew that I was going to the pub or what, but he laughed. "Don't try and tell me that's not were your going, I hope you don't mind that I tag along?" he seamed to really be curious that I might care.
"No I don't mind, but I do drink fast and I will probably only be going to the pub for a few the heading to the shop and then park" I didn't know why I was telling him this when it was showing that I had a drinking problem.
"That's cool could I tag along all night?"
"Yeah sure why not?" we carried on walking till we came to a small pub and I turned in not even looking back once, I didn't even stare at the front long enough to know what it was called. He reached out an caught my wrist before I went through the next set of doors.
"I don't think we should go in here" He seamed to have a very weary tone in his voice.
"Why not it's a pub, it has alcohol, unless that's why you don't wont to go in?"
"No its not that I just don't think its very safe" his tone was getting angry like I had offended him
"What did you hustle someone the last time you were in here…" I started to laugh, but he didn't seam at all amused but I went through the doors anyway ignoring the fact he was still holding my wrist with freezing cold hands.