Chapter One: Meeting the Demon

I bet you've all read Lord of the Rings Mary-Sues. You know, the sort of story where the "ordinary" girl gets dropped off in Middle-earth to find out that she's been sent by someone to save the Fellowship and all that. But those girls always want to go.

If only I had that much luck.

It all started one day when I was coming home from Brain Bowl practice. I turned the corner to this woody shortcut- hey, my entire county is woody- that I use to get home from school and I heard a rustling behind me. I naturally assumed that it was one of those dogs that evil people just turn out to live in the woods. I turned around and the world went black.

When I woke up, I felt like that one time when Alex insisted on blasting punk rock music into my classical-world music- head. That, I should add, was the worst headache that I've ever experienced. When I looked up, I was utterly confused. The trees above me were not pines like those at home, but oaks- actual oaks. Okay, so I landed in one of those deciduous groves that pop up every once in a while in pine forests. Then I looked beyond the trees to the sky. That's when I stopped short, because no sky on earth has that many. And then I looked down, which was a big mistake.

I looked different.

Hanging over my shoulder was hair. My hair was normally shoulder length, but now it reached below my waist and was thicker than it had ever actually been. I stood up in terror, and then I noticed that I had undergone the complete extreme makeover. In the space of when I had blacked out and when I came... here, I had grown about six inches and lost two skirt sizes. I didn't think that I changed in skin color, but I normally have paper-white skin. Fortunately, I had been wearing a long dress to school, so now it just hung loose and came down to my calves.

Before I could scream in shock, which I was near approaching, someone came up behind me. I was kind of scared, since the last time something was following me in the woods I ended up being transported into another body in another universe. At least, that's what I thought happened. But a soft voice said, "Do not be afraid."

I whirled around and saw HER for the first time. SHE looked lovely- that is the only word for it. SHE had a river of golden hair that reached down farther than mine, and was as pale as can be, except for her dark blue eyes. Her face was perfect. "Umm... where am I?" I asked.

SHE laughed delicately. "You are in Middle-earth."

Okay, time out. I am in Arda? And why was SHE using the English word instead of the term that would be used here, if that is where I really am? "Pardon me," I said politely, seeing as SHE had a sword. "But this is very hard to believe. Am I really supposed to accept this?"

Another laugh, "You must, for you shall stay here."

"Um, why?" This blondie was starting to get on my nerves.

"Because you are now my companion. I cannot travel without you, and you shall die if you remain here. It is a win-win situation."

And that's when it hit me. This demon that I was stuck with was a Mary-Sue. She showed all of the signs of a Sue: absolute beauty, lovely laugh, hideous interior. And then it hit me again. I am the slave of a Mary-Sue, no matter the term she uses. Worse than that, I had become a person with the outer semblance if a Sue who was the servant of a bona-fide Sue. And as an added bonus for HER, I am the world's worst wimp. Before that little nearly-nonexistent piece of bravery in me could come out, I said, "All right," very quietly and looked down.

She smiled triumphantly. "That wasn't so bad now, was it? And now I can offer some of that background information that you wanted." She turned her face upwards and whistled. Suddenly, from the sky popped out a figure that looks like it was made of a star. "Companion, meet my godmother."

A gentle voice completely incongruous with the omnipotent shape said, "It is a pleasure to meet you. May I speak to you alone so I may explain everything?" So I, the wimp, nodded and followed her (I think that the shape is female, after all, she is a godmother) deeper into the woods. As soon as we were out of earshot of HER, she stopped glowing as much and said, "I need you to help me with my goddaughter."

O-kay. There's a person who's made of flame and needs my help, and I bet it isn't with homework. "No offence, but how can I help you?" Note to self: do not insult beings that burn.

"I need you to get rid of my goddaughter. Goodness knows how long I've waited for this to happen. She wanted to go to Middle-earth, so I dropped her off- into a pack of orcs. But she screamed so loudly that she frightened the entire score away; they thought she was a Ringwraith telling them to clear off. Then she demanded acompanion to help her while she headed for Rivendell and beyond. So I chose the first girl I could find who actually has down the concept of life pre- tooth bleach, and who knows Middle-earth already, which happens to be you."

Point one taken care of. "So... what do you want me to do?"

"Simple- get rid of her. Get her lost, away, so long as she doesn't get around here again where she can bother me. I have promised to allow her to go to Rivendell and leave there with the Fellowship, and goodness knows how long it took me to figure out how to mess up Elrond's mind enough to allow her to slip through. But don't kill her, or her mother will kill me."

Okay, point two dealt with. Onto point three: "What exactly did you change about me?"

The figure laughed, but it was a wholesome sound, unlike HERs. "I have changed little, believe me. Your hair I did not change except in length. Height was simple, and you lost the fat when you gained the vertical inches. No changes anywhere else, except the eyes." My jaw dropped about three inches. "I didn't change the color, if that is what you were afraid of. I just corrected your vision, since you wouldn't be able to wear your contacts here. Your eyes will be a lot sharper though than when you wore corrective lenses." Being the stupid person that I am, I reached up and tried to feel my contact lenses. That was a very bad idea, since I was no longer wearing them. While I was trying not to scream in pain, the figure continued, "And that's it. Can I trust you with the job?"

Wimp alert! Wimp alert! "I guess so." Gah, I have been taken over by wimpiness.

If the shape had a face and it wasn't dark, I could swear she was beaming. "Thank you so much. Oh, and to regress to the subject of changes, you need to change into something a little longer and warmer. Here." And she handed me a dress that looked like it was a blue-ish grey and felt like wool, and then she disappeared. So now I'm stuck with HER. Just great.

Oh, and an explanation of this book: an empty leather-boundbook was folded in the dress with three pens. I guess it was meant to be a place where I could quietly seethe. Note to self: find out the date. Second Note to self: do not let HER read this thing; she'll probably decapitate me.