A/N- Okay, so, my dad is a totally awesomesauce and funny guy. I think that his funnyness needs to be recorded and shared with the world, so I had to write this fanfic. I'm sorry that it's a bit out of order, but I will write it down as he says it. He will not make up year's worth of names in one day, so it may be a little bit mixed up to read.
The World According to My Dad
Blackouts are caused by zombies gnawing at the power lines.
The proper way to show that you love a dog is to push her head down and prevent her from moving.
Dogs love to lick your feet and you should always take off your socks out of courtesy for them.
Cats are aliens sent from outer space to observe us and report back to the mothership.
Story-
My mom got him a plaid baby blue shirt with an 'old western' pattern across the back and shoulders.
He wears it out to dinner with a pair of jeans. We say that it's too blue and just doesn't work. He says yes, it does.
My sister and I begin calling him 'Tropical Pattern' because the shirt is more Hawaiian than Old Western.
He wears it with brown plaid shorts. We say that it's too plaid.
Dad hasn't worn the shirt again.
Nickname-
Pappy
Mom set him up. She asks him: 'are you happy?'
'yes.'
'Then you're Pappy!'
My sis and I were teasing him about that all night. We aren't planning on letting this nickname die.