The first day was the hardest.
The hardest, because he kept forgetting
One second he would stop, as if waiting for someone
For her
to end his sentence.
There would be a brief pause as he waited
Then, when the response didn't come, his face fell
And it hit him yet again
Hit him like a train going top speed
He would tear up
And no one knew what to do
Multiple times, he had to excuse himself, to go
"be alone"
They all knew he went back to his cabin
Every time that damn picture,
The one taken just before he disappeared
Would be clutched tightly against his chest,
His body racked with sobs
And he would stay there for hours, refusing to leave
To train
To go to campfire
Even to eat
They tried to talk to him
But he refused to listen
They said he was okay
But he knew they were lying
He would never be fine
Not only had he been to literal hell and back
But he had lost the most important person,
in his life to a war
He didn't want to fight in
But they had fought
And they had won
But at a heavy price
He remembered the war
Flashbacks, nightmares
Appearing at the most inconvenient of times
And there was no one there to hold his hand,
To tell him everything would be okay
Because it wouldn't be okay
She had taken part of him with her
A part he could never get back
They told him she would want him to move on,
That she needed him to move on,
To give her peace
But he couldn't move on
How could he?
His best friend,
His love,
Was gone
and there was no getting her back
no matter how hard he tried
she would never come back
it hurt him so much