A/N: This is the first part of a 2-shot (perhaps even a 3-shot). I'm still struggling to link the start of the second part to this... but I do know where I want to go with this. It's all from Sam's POV!

Warning: This is NOT happy Seddie! :( It is also my first iCarly fic, so the caracters are OOC. Especially Sam!

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, I just own the idea for the story!

Worth Dying For

Part 1

They've left me. They've all left me. Everyone. My friends. My family. Everyone.

Everyone I've ever known, everyone I've ever cared for, has somehow left me. My dad moved away with my twin sister (and I haven't heard from them since), my mother turned to alcohol, my friends turned away from me. All I thought I had was my two best friends, Carly and Freddie. They're the only ones who have always stayed by my side; they've always been there for me, without asking much in return. I thought it would be Carly, the perfect girl, Freddie, the tech-geek, and me, the vicious tomboy, forever. They complemented me, softened me, and I hoped I complemented them in the same way. We were the perfect trio. I relied on them being there for me, as I thought they relied on me, because I thought we'd be best friends forever.

How naive was I?

How could I put so much trust and faith in two people, when every other single person has left me? How could I think that they would want to be friends with such a vicious, dangerous, selfish person? How could they love me like I love them? I should have known that they'd leave me too, without caring how it hurt me. But, silly old me, I ignored my instincts, and let them into my life. I should have known that they'd leave me, push me away, because they had each other.

I should have known that Carly would finally see how brilliant Freddie was, and let him have her like he always wished. I should have known that she'd take him away from me before I had the chance to tell him.

Because, you know what? I love him. I really love him. He's all I want, all I need; he's my everything. But he left me! And not for any old girl; no. He left me for my best friend! How could he do this to me; how could I have let him break me like he did?

And he didn't even see me, not truly. He was too in love with Carly, too much like a lost puppy following her around, that he didn't see me. Sure, I'd do things to make him notice me, but it usually annoyed him that I'd take his attention away from her. Not for the first time, I came second-best to Carly.

Usually, I'm not surprised at coming second to her, because, compared with me, she was perfect. Where she was model-tall, skinny, with fair skin, long straight brown hair and sparkling chocolate eyes; I was a medium height, slim tomboy with loose and wild blonde curls, lightly sun-kissed skin, and near-ice blue eyes. She was kind, friendly, clever, popular and amazingly patient, whereas I was abrasive, cruel, icy, academically stupid and impatient. It's fair enough that everyone loves Carly, leaving me in her shadow, yet again.

But it became too much when I saw them together, making our trio to their pair plus me, the unwanted spare-part. I finally saw how they didn't need anything thing, or anyone but each other. I saw when I wasn't needed. I know that they forget the world when they're together, and it burns in me how much I want to be the one that he forgets everything with, but it slices my heart yet again when I remember that I can't and will never be that person, because that's Carly.

I was slowly retreating into myself, closing myself off to everyone. I stopped paying attention to anything but them. I know it's self destructive, but he was all I saw, and she was always by his side, so I had no choice, I was doomed from the start. I nearly never showed up at school anymore, and when I did, I was usually sent to the principal's office for not participating in the class. He was the only adult that seemed to care, but I knew that one person out of a thousand caring didn't really matter; it didn't really mean anyone else decided to care. Especially not the two of them, now that they had each other.

A/N: Sorry about where it stopped! I will try to finish it off asap! :D

Review? :)