Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Here Without You", it is copyrighted to Three Doors Down. And I do not own the LWD characters, they belong to the Disney Channel or Canada or whatever. lol.
Summary: This is a one shot song fic, it could possibly turn into a story later on. Read it and let me know what you think! Thanks! Oh, sorry if the lyrics aren't exactly correct. I got them off a lyric website, and sometimes their lyrics aren't correct, lol.
A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
It had been over three months now since Casey's accident. I've grown so mature now, I don't even feel like the old Derek anymore.
A thousand lies have made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same
Now, I don't enjoy doing things like I used to. I don't play video games, I don't have posters of half naked girls in my room. I don't make stupid jokes, I don't goof off at school. In fact, my grades are a little bit better, now. Perhaps Casey's studying skills rubbed off on me? I'd like to think that's not the only part of her that's with me now.
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face
At night, it's like Casey comes into my dreams. Sometimes we talk; talk about life, death, what happens to us when we die. Other times, we'll go on walks in beautiful places, like at the beach or in a rainforest. Places that Casey cared about. Places that I'll care about now.
I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
When she first died, I couldn't sleep at all. I knew that if I fell asleep that she'd be there, and I wasn't ready to face her just yet. Nora took me to the doctor and they gave me some medication to help me sleep. I didn't start taking that until I was ready to see Casey. Now, I sleep every night, and every night, I see Casey. She looks as beautiful as she did the day she died.
I still can't believe she's gone. I wish I could find and kill the guy that hit her with his car as she crossed the street with Emily... You know, sometimes I wish it was Emily that had gotten hit. I know, it's a horrible thought, but when the one you love dies, horrible thoughts come to you. You think about different scenarios, ones where the one you love lives. If only we could choose the scenarios... I would've had the guy hit a tree or a parked car or something.
The miles just keep rolling as the people leave their way to say hello
Passing people in the hallways at school is one of the things I dread the most. I feel like I'm walking down a deserted highway, even though there's tons of kids walking around me. I feel like I'm the only one that's been affected by Caseys death. Every once in a while someone will give me a sympathetic (emphasis on the "pathetic") look and I'll just give them a blank stare back.
I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go
Somedays, I just want to kill myself. Make it easier for everyone. I know it'd make it a hell of a lot easier for me, at least I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. Maybe I could be with Casey again. That's all I really want. Staying here, staying alive, that's not going to get me what I want.
I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
Tonight is the last night that I dream of Casey. It's going to be the last night that I suffer. I'm finally going to be with her, something I've wanted every damn second since she died.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won't take away my love
I'm walking upstairs to my room. I've just said good night to the family. What they don't know is that I've said good bye to them. Sure, I don't really want to die. It will be hard for me to look at myself in the mirror as I say good bye. But, it's something I have to do... I have to be with her, I can't stand not being around Casey any longer.
I'm staring into the mirror now, looking at myself for one last time. I notice how my eyes look. For once in the last three months, I look happy. My eyes have some light to them. Of course, that'll all be taken away once I plunge this knife into my chest.
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
As I hold the knife up, ready, I close my eyes and take a shaky breath. My eyelids flutter. I whisper a few words, hoping that Casey can hear them. "I love you Casey. I know you won't approve of what I'm about to do, but it has to be done. I can't wait to see you." Without a second thought, I feel the knife piercing my skin, stabbing into my heart. I fall to the ground, the life draining out of me onto the floor.
it gets hard but it won't take away my love
As I breathe my last few breaths, I see Casey's breathtakingly beatiful face, and I wonder for a split second if I made a mistake. What if she never loved me back?
I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
I choke up some blood, spending my last dying breath wishing that Casey was there. Everything went black for a few minutes. I wake up to "Derek! Derek!" I open my eyes and I see Edwin standing over my lifeless body in the bathroom. I'm watch him start to cry as he shakes me, repeating my name over and over again, crying harder when I don't respond. Nora comes running in, goes white as soon as she sees. Edwin's now holding my body, and Nora calls for Dad. Lizzie and Marti wander to the door, but Nora tells Lizzie to take Marti to her room. Dad shows up and sees me there. He tells Edwin to go to the girls' room, and Edwin leaves immediately. Nora gives him a look on the way out as if to tell Edwin to not tell Lizzie and Marti what he saw. Not yet at least. Nora tells Dad that she's going to call 911. Their hope is useless though. I know I'm dead. And all I can think about is how badly I want to see Casey.
I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it's only you and me
Suddenly I feel someone lightly tap my shoulder. I turn around, and Casey's there. She has an accusing look on her face, but she seems almost glad to see me. "Derek, how could you do this?" I look at her, so, so happy that I finally get to see her, and I say, "Casey, I did this because I love you. I don't care about my life. It ended the minute I heard you were gone. From now on, it'll just be you and me."
Author's note: OK, this was written rather quickly, I had to get the idea out. If the story sucks, just let me know and I'll try to fix it... If you like it, then definitely let me know :)