Masks
It was written on a scrappy piece of paper, something left over from a scroll or a draft for some document or something like that. Something that would have just been lying around the house until it found its purpose. Nonetheless, the kanji were precise, if you ignored the few crossing outs that appeared every now and then. Hinata could barely read it through her tears and her shaking hands.
Show me
That you know me
That you see me
For who I am
Not who I pretend to be
Every night, every day
I put on a mask
Is it to protect me from the world
Or to protect the world from me?
But sometimes
Someone gets beneath the mask
So I construct a new one
Feeding off the old, filling the cracks
Until there is nothing of me left.
I wonder, the people I see
They smile, they laugh, they wave
At me
Or so they think
It's not really me
It's an elaborate façade
Is it to protect me from the world
Or to protect the world from me?
I have many masks
And over time
I've perfected the ability
To switch seamlessly between them
No one suspects
No one knows
Are they to protect me from the world
Or are they to protect the world from me?
That's the way I want it
I think
I don't want anyone to know
What lurks beneath
I'm horrible
I'm ugly
I feed off the sins of others
I have dreams, at night
I'm killing
Hurting
Destroying
And I'm enjoying it.
But, is that why I need you
I so desperately need you
I have dreams, other dreams
I call your name … so desperately
It scares me.
These masks…
Have I constructed them
To protect me from the world
Or the world from me?
I think I need someone
To get beneath
I mean … I can't be the only one who has these dreams!
Can I?
I think … I think I'll show you
Show you what lies beneath
All my masks, lies, deceit.
I'll be stripped bare.
But … I love you.
And I think …
Hope …
Dream …
That you love me too.
So … it can't be too bad … can it?
I mean, you love me!
Don't you?
No, you have to.
You said it!
What if you didn't mean it …
No!
You love me, I know it!
These masks … are useless now.
Even if I wanted to … I couldn't use them.
Not against you, anyway.
But, now I'll show you
Me.
The real me.
I'll be the most vulnerable I've ever been …
You better appreciate this teme!
But if you reject this…
Me…
The real me…
That was all that was written on that page. Hinata turned it slowly over, gathering her courage to read the last few kanji.
I won't survive.
Hinata dropped the piece of paper, her hands shaking too badly to hold the scrap.
"Naruto … oh Naruto … you were going to tell him, weren't you?" She asked the empty home – no house. Everything else, merger though it was, was boxed up. She had been given the painful task of collecting the various pieces of paper that littered the room, rooms really, after Iruka had picked up one and started to read it. It had ended with him in tears. She didn't know who was more shocked, Kakashi who had looked up and noticed the silent tears, or Iruka himself.
Iruka had left after that, well actually Kakashi had taken him away. It had come as a shock to some that they were dating - had been for a while. No one had known until … until …
Hinata forcibly turned her thoughts from that subject, focusing instead on picking up the paper and the others but NOT reading them. She had cried enough, and it was worse now because she had run out of tears on the outside, but continued to cry on the inside. If she was going through this then dammit, she wanted some goddamed evidence! It wasn't like her to swear, but considering what she was doing and the empty bottle of sake she had thrown out moments before, the swearing was more then justified.
Stacking the last of the papers together, Hinata carefully placed them into the box that had been set aside for that purpose. It was a pretty big box, and she was dismayed to find it almost full. It was then that she heard the faint sounds of someone moving through the other rooms. She put the box down, and moved silently towards the noise. The house was empty, adding to the eeriness of the moment as the faint footsteps got louder.
'Anticlimaxal,' was the first thought that came to mind when she saw that it was just Sakura. The second thought almost made her blush, but it did fit that … that …
Ignoring the intruder, Hinata turned back to get the box of poetry, starting slightly when she felt a hand catch her elbow. Swinging back around to glare at Sakura, she quickly noticed the red eyes and the slight puffiness that spoke of hours spent crying, and the slightly smudged eyeliner and mascara that spoke of a poor attempt to cover that fact up. All in all, the girl's face spoke of grief. A fitting mask for the occasion.
"Is there … anything I can do?" Sakura asked, flinching slightly at the glare.
"Don't you think you've done enough?" Hinata hissed, taking herself slightly by surprise before she composed herself. The bitch wasn't worth the effort. "Just go away."
Sakura gulped, eyes flashing, but trudged onwards, "I … I tried to visit K…"
"You what?" Hinata gaped at the girl's stupidity, "How dare you! It's your entire fault! A 'sorry' won't work. And don't even think of saying you didn't expect this, because you knew exactly what you were getting into when you slept with Sasuke Sakura!" Hinata tacked on the last sentence when she saw Sakura's eyes flash and her mouth open.
Sakura blushed, but Hinata could see the annoyed glint in her eyes, a glint that spoke volumes about Sakura's character. "Listen, how was I supposed to know the stupid wh…"
A sharp, slap sound echoed in the otherwise empty house, repeating itself twice before the echoes were left to die away.
Hinata's face was lowered, bangs covering her eyes. Her hands were clutched into fists that were shaking at her sides. "How dare … how dare you speak of Naruto that way." She hissed, her voice shaking but deadly even. Sakura raised a trembling hand to her smooth cheeks that were now decorated in red handprints.
"How dare you hit me y-"
She was cut off as Hinata slammed her into the wall, one hand holding her to it and the other dangerously close to her heart. Sakura stilled, knowing that Hinata could kill her in a split second, and for the first time the thought that this may have not been the best idea wandered into her mind.
"How dare you speak ill of a guy that thought the world of you?!" Hinata yelled, "How dare you go and pretend to offer false sympathies to their son when you're the reason that he will never see his mother again!"
Sakura's anger overrode her natural self-defense system, "Pfft, the kid was a freak anyway. Born of two men, that's just no-"
The word turned into a wordless cry as Hinata slammed her into the wall again, "How dare you come here and ask if there's anything you can do! Home wreaking little whore, you're the freak, you're the unnatural one! Everyone could see that Naruto was crazy about Sasuke, hell, everyone could see that Sasuke was crazy about Naruto. But you couldn't handle that, could you? You couldn't handle seeing Sasuke happy with someone who wasn't you, you couldn't handle knowing that Naruto was his first in everything. So you did the only thing you could, you slept with Sasuke and made sure Naruto saw you." Hinata spat at Sakura. "Get out of my sight bitch, before I do something that'll get blood in the carpet."
Sakura glared, but didn't deny the words. She couldn't, after all, they were the truth. She sniffed haughtily, and smirked, "But Hinata-chan, you're in the same boat I was. You loved Naruto, did you not?" She asked, voice venomously sweet.
"I did." Hinata replied evenly, "But not enough to see Sasuke dead." She laughed, a slightly crazy laugh that lifted the hairs on the back of Sakura's neck, "But it didn't work, did it? You never expected Sasuke to follow his love, did you? And what even better, is that it's all. Your. FAULT!" She screamed the last word, looking less like the sweet and kind wouldn't-hurt-a-fly Hinata that everyone knew and more like a vengeful demon. "Besides," she added softly, "as long as Naruto was happy, so was I. Could you honestly say the same about yourself Sakura? Can you say that as long as Sasuke was happy so were you?" She sneered as Sakura's eyes skittered to the side, she couldn't and they both knew it. "You were never in love with Sasuke. You loved the idea of him, an ice cold man who never looked twice at anyone, a man who had a tortured past, a man who was totally unreachable to everyone. You never loved the man who worked hard at his training, striving to become perfect so that he could finally defeat his brother so he could finally let his family rest. You love Uchia Sasuke Sakura, not Sasuke. Now get out."
Stepping back, Hinata released Sakura and returned to the living room, sighing softly as the front door slammed shut, echoing in the empty house. As she sealed the last box, a line jumped out at her.
Is it to protect me from the world
"Good question Naruto." She said to the empty house. "Good question."
A/N: Ok, let me explain. Basically what happened was that Sasuke and Naruto got drunk after a mission and had sex. Sasuke then had to leave on a long as mission. Naruto got preggers, and had the kid before Sasuke got back, so he missed out on the whole omg-Naruto's-pregnant thing that the whole village was doing. He got back, but Naruto was off on a mission, and the baby was staying with Iruka. A couple of days before Naruto came back, Sasuke had to leave on another mission. This went on until the baby, Kyo, was about 3. Then Naruto got the position of Hokage, and he didn't leave on mission but he had even less spare time, less time to think of how to tell Sasuke that he loved him and they had a child. Anyway, Naruto finally got up the courage, and, told Sakura that he was finally going to tell Sasuke that he loved him and that they had a kid the whole thing. Now, Sakura's a nice girl, but she couldn't stand the fact that Naruto was going to tell Sasuke that he loved him, and as she knew that Sasuke loved Naruto, she knew that they were going to get together, get married, everything. She was pissed, Naruto had taken Sasuke's first kiss, his first 'time', his first child, now he was going to get Sasuke himself? She didn't think so! So, she slept with Sasuke when Naruto was coming over, made sure he heard them. Naruto was heart broken. He went to Iruka's house, told him to look after Kyo for him, went to a lake and killed himself so that Kyuubi could escape. Then this happened.
I love Hinata, don't you? She so adorable … but kick-ass-Hinata is cool too!
As for Sakura … the joys of being a totally obsessed fangirl…