Leah watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground. She had tried to be strong today; she had to be there for Seth, for her mother. But as she looked around, she noticed that they had people who were there for them. So she let her emotions out. The silent sobs caused her shoulders to heave up and down and the tears slid endlessly down her face. This wasn't fair. Her father shouldn't have gone. Not this way.
Not because of her.
Her knees gave way as she continued looking into the hole where her father had just been laid to rest. She wanted to scream, to release all her pain. But she couldn't. All that she could do was cry and sob silently.
"Daddy…" She whispered many times. She felt her mother's hand on her shoulder, bringing her from her trance. She glanced up at her mother whose face was a mirror image of Leah's. She clung to her mother's hand as she watched Sam Uley, Jacob Black, Paul Lahote, Embry Call, Quill Atera and Jared Cameron pile dirt on top of her father's coffin. "Daddy…"
Seth walked over to his sister and mother wiping the tears away from his face. He bent down beside Leah and hugged her and not a moment later Sue was kneeling by her two kids whispering loving words into their ears.
"It's not fair…" Leah whispered. The guilt filled her voice and she began to sob once more "It's not fair…"
"Leah!" Seth called. "Come on Leah, please. We have a pack meeting…."
It had only been two weeks since her father had passed away. Two weeks without her father and she hated it. He was her best friend. He was her rock since she was a baby girl. She was his everything as he was hers. He was the one guy in her life that Leah knew would never hurt her. But now, he was gone.
Leah was still in the grieving stage. She was still grieving over her father and no one blamed her. But did anyone help her? No. Well, that's a lie. Seth and her mother did. But as of this moment, they don't count. They were her family, they were the ones that had lost someone special as well, they were supposed to help her heal. Her pack however, were missing in action.
"Lee…" Seth walked into Leah's room after slightly tapping on the door "Lee, please come…"
"Im not coming to that meeting Seth. I am not going to transform into the thing that killed our father…" Leah muttered. She buried her face further into her pillow as the tears streamed down her face.
"Is that why you won't phase? Because…" Seth stopped before moving over to the bed "God Leah. It's not your fault…"
"Isn't it?" Leah whispered in a harsh tone. She turned to face her brother and sat up "If I hadn't have gotten into the stupid argument with him, I wouldn't have phased. I wouldn't have given our father his heart attack!"
"Sis… Dad had a bad heart for a while. You can't blame yourself." Seth pleaded.
"It's the only thing I know how to do, Seth. It's the only thing that seems logical at the moment. Our fathers' heart was slowly getting better; he had the doctor's tests to prove it. But I, this freak of nature, decide it's good to get into an argument with him, and then I phase. Into this huge monster –which only guys are supposed to be able to transform into- and our father has his heart attack…." Leah furiously wiped at her face and glanced at Seth.
"L-" the younger sibling began, but he was cut off.
"You know Seth. You are lucky…" Leah whispered "Those guys, our pack brothers. They love you…"
"They love you too Leah…" Seth spoke softly.
Leah smiled sadly and shook her head, her fingers would occasionally play with the heart necklace her father had given to her a couple years back for her sixteenth birthday. "No they don't Seth. They may love me because it's their obligation to love me, as I am their pack sister. But you Seth, they look out for you. They love you like a blood brother. They love you the way I love you…"
"Leah, if you just phase… you can see they love you too… They are willing to help you Lee.. you just have to give them a chance…"
Once again, Leah shook her head and she raised her voice "I will not phase to a group of guys who can't even come to see if I am alright. Seth, I will not share my thoughts with those boys because they don't deserve to know what I'm thinking. Every time they came around here, It was to check on you and our mother. Not me. Never were they here to see if I was okay… Not once did they ask about me…"
Seth fell silent. It was true. They had never asked about Leah while they had visited. It was like they forgot she was missing someone just as bad, if not worse, as he was. Not even Sam had the decency to ask if Leah Clearwater –the woman he loved before Emily came along- was okay. They all came for him and his mother, to lend their mother a hand. To be someone Seth could talk to. Now Seth understood two reasons why she wouldn't phase.
One, her father. Two, she thinks the pack doesn't care about her.
"But I do thank them Seth…" Leah muttered "Because they helped you heal… They were strong for you when I wasn't. You are young, Seth. Nearly seventeen years old. You should be enjoying life, not standing here trying to look after your pathetic sister. They helped you heal Seth, they helped you grieve. I just sometimes wish they were there to help me too…"
Seth let a tear slip down his face as he watched his sister snuggle under the blankets. He walked over to her and placed a kiss on her forehead "No matter what you think Lee… You are not pathetic. You are a strong sister who was always there for me…"
He wiped away some of his sisters tears before standing up "I will tell they guys you and mum are having a day together…"
With that, Leah heard the footsteps of her brother descend from her room and into the lounge before finally she heard the door shut.
"Daddy…" Leah cried "I miss you… come back."
X
She's not here? Again? Paul complained. Seth shook his head sadly towards his pack members and sighed.
She's having a day out with-
Don't lie for her Seth. I can see it, pack link remember. She's in her bed Jared stated. Why won't she just come to one meeting? Does Sam have to Alpha order her to come or something?
Seth's head flicked between Sam and Jared You wouldn't.
Maybe… Their Alpha started, but Seth cut him off.
You can't. Seth pleaded don't force her to come… It will ruin her even more.
What are you talking about, Kid? Jacob muttered. Clearly getting tired of Leah not coming to pack meetings. He understood she lost her father, he knows what it feels like. He lost his mother, but he still would have come to pack meetings if he was a shifter back then.
Don't act like you would have Seth sneered in Jacobs's direction we all know that when Bella picked Edward, you went missing in action for months! You don't know what Leah is going through, any of you.
Seth was concentrating on keeping his talk with Leah private. He didn't want to hurt her more by revealing her pain to the pack.
Jake growled at Seth, but he didn't attack. He knew this was true. He had gone missing.
The thoughts of his pack brothers invaded his head. All at once. They were all about Leah. His sister.
She should just come. If we have too, she should as well Paul
She can't still be grieving bad can she. She can still grieve, but look at you Seth. You seem a lot better Embry.
Claire misses her. Although, I sometimes don't know why. Quill
Emily has been asking about her Sam.
She just needs to get her ass to this meeting Jake.
Actually, come to think of it. Kim has been asking about Leah a lot recently… But I can't tell her how she is Jared.
It's because you jackasses never ask about her Seth yelled. His head was filled with too much statements and questions about his sister. Before he knew it, images of his sister were filling the minds of his pack brothers. The conversation he had recently with her. The nights he would hold her while she cried herself to sleep.
The pain from Seth's memories caused each pack member to whimper and bow their head in shame.
"I wouldn't have given our father his heart attack…"
"Our pack brothers love you Seth…."
"They love you too Leah…"
"No they don't Seth…"
"Not once have they asked about me…"
Seth couldn't take it anymore. He phased back into his human form and threw on his sorts. He fell back in a sitting position on the ground. His hands ran over his hair and face before finally he propped up his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. He inhaled deeply before glancing up. He saw that all his pack brothers had phased back. The tears were threatening to fall from each of their faces.
"We didn't know…" was all Jacob mumbled before he fell next to Seth. Paul was next to fall down followed by the rest of them. Sam last.
"She really feels this way? That we don't love her?" Sam asked, pained to even say it.
"No…" came Seth's sarcastic response "I just made all that up to make you all feel bad.. Of course she does. None of you were there for her, only me. I do thank you all for that… but Leah is the most important person in my life as well as my mother. You could have been there for her too… maybe then she wouldn't be blaming herself for all of this. Maybe she would actually be here… She needed you guys there as well… She didn't just need me and my mother, she needed you guys. All six of you…"
Embry bowed his head in shame; he tugged at his hair before whispering curses under his breath. "How do we make this right?"
Quill nodded in agreement. As did the rest of the guys.
Seth just sighed and shook his head. He thought for a few moments before looking up at his pack brothers. Each of them had unshed tears in their eyes at the thought of hurting their pack sister like that. They had not once realized.
"My dad, he would always sing Leah a lullaby…" Seth began a small smile coming to his face "He did it up until he passed. She once told me when we were little that…. They lullaby our father would sing her would instantly make her smile. Even if it were for just a moment. She felt truly loved. She would sing it to me, changing the words around slightly of course… But it was the only thing, other than the dance her and my father would share every Sunday, which I know can cheer her up…"
X
Leah awoke to the sounds of hushed whispering. Her heightened senses let her know that it was just her brother and 'her' pack brothers. She didn't think anything much more of it until she heard her bedroom door open.
"Lee… You awake?" came Seth's hushed whisper.
Not bothering to look up from her bed, Leah mumbled a low 'Yes' before she felt the bed sink beside her.
"This lullaby is to help you sleep at night. I am telling you, everything is going to be alright… My baby girl, just smile bright and light up my world… for tonight…" Leah let the tears slip from her eyes as she heard her father's lullaby being recited to her. She noticed the voice as Jacobs and she began to sob as Jacob wrapped his arm around her and brought her in close to him, burying his face in her neck.
"So sleep my baby girl. Forget about the world. It's just me and you tonight. I promise everything is going to be alright…" She recognized the voice as Paul's. She felt her hand being held by his as he sat next to her on the bed.
"When you wake up… I'll be here. My darling, I'm not going anywhere…" This time it was Embry's voice, he placed a kiss on Leah's head. The tears continued to pour down her face as a small smile reached her lips.
"There's going to be a time… when being strong is all you can be. But until that time comes, your strength will come from me…" Sams voice echoed throughout her ears as he used his hand to wipe away her tears.
"Sleep my baby girl, forget about the world. It's just me and you tonight, I promise everything is going to be alright…" Quills soft yet deep voice spoke. His hand stroked the side of Leah's face before he kneeled down on the floor beside her bed.
"When the time comes, and I am no longer here. There will be another man, who will fight what you fear…" Jared smiled as he saw the smile come to Leah's face. He placed a kiss upon her cheek.
"As long as the sun remains warm, and the sky remains blue. I want you to know my darling sister… I will always love you…" Seth whispered. He re-arranged the word daughter for sister for obvious reasons. He reached over and embraced his sister in a hug. "I love you Lee… We all do…"
Seth's conclusion of the lullaby made the tears that now fell from Leah's face, tears of joy. Leah felt Jakes hand securely wrapped around her torso and she turned her body to embrace him, to show her thanks. She then glanced around at her pack brothers who were occupying her bed and her floor whispering her thanks to all of them. Seth then reached out his hand for Leah to grab. Leah took it with no hesitation and glanced at Seth with wonder.
"What are you doing Seth?" She whispered as he turned on a slow song.
"Well, it is Sunday isn't it?" He smiled down at her. Leah instantly felt her eyes grow wet again as herself and Seth began dancing.
Hope you enjoyed. In case any of you were wondering, yes, I made the lullaby up specifically for this story.
Review? xx