Heart Beats

by Rambling Naiad

A friend once said that pride would tear them apart... one shot

Author Note:

            As weird as this may sound, I actually thought of this idea from one line in the song Ordinary Day.  I was watching an AMV (anime music video), by Aluminum Studios, that stars Rei.  It is a powerful music video, and well, this one quote inspired the feeling inside of me that I needed to write a story based off it.  The quote, "Pride will tear us both apart."  Of course, naturally I thought of a Rei/Wufei couple for a story to go along with this quote, but then I decided, hell I should try to be different from the norm.  So I decided that the melody of this song really felt to be Ami, so why not an Ami/Wufei coupling for this story (plus I really like them together anyways).  Next I needed to think of a plot, which was guided by the Romantic age poems… especially "The Sleeper in the Valley" by Rimbaud, which inspired the end of my story (amazing how poems you read a year ago can affect your work today). So yeah, that is how I thought of this lovely story.

Anyways, this story is written mostly in unspoken monologue.  The lines that are quotes are being spoken out loud and are there too break up the sections.  This story is also a one-shot, but due to Silver-liz complaining I might make it a two-shot (lol).  But until I actually update it (and I do have an idea about the next chapter of this story just don't know if I want to write it) consider this story a one-shot.  So well… I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon and Gundam Wing… or do I? =P

Thanks SilverCaladan for being my beta-reader! (hehe… the weirdest mistake I made while typing this story was writing "temperature" when I meant "temper")

One more note, I have no clue what graduate college life and school and whatever is like so please forgive me *puupy-eyes*

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"Heart beats"

~a one-shot by Naiad~

"I remember…"

            I was so excited when I was accepted to study medicine abroad at Oxford University.  Just a few months prior I had graduated from Tokyo U, never expecting I would get chosen to go study at a graduate level at my first choice university.  Calling all my friends, and telling them the good news, I can still remember their shrieks of happiness over the phone.

            My small smile never left my face; I was so proud of myself.  Packing my clothes and going shopping for a dorm, I left my house and mother after a few hugs and tears.

            Arriving at Heathrow airport in London, I went exploring the British Museum and Windsor castle before taking the train to the city of Oxford.  Oxford was such a historical place; the streets were surrounded by old buildings and trees that had been around for decades, begging you to unlock their secrets.  The sun shone peacefully down on the University and I felt relaxed, ready to start on my graduate degree.

            After placing everything neatly in my room, I had plenty of free time before my university life began—two days—so I headed over to my favorite building – the library. 

            The library there had an antique smell and the dust danced slowly in the dim atmosphere.   The sparse amount of people sitting by desks didn't even bother to look up when I entered; they were too deeply involved in their books.  Many of the books in this library had been around for ages and I couldn't wait to begin reading and analyzing them. 

            Gliding down an aisle, past rows and rows, I finally found a book that interested me.  It was on the folklores of the moon.  Smiling at myself, it was amusing that I had chosen this book.  Nothing like this had ever interested me before.  After all, I lived it.  Why read about it too?  Shaking my head at my silly antics, I knew that I missed my friends already. 

            Walking back to the seating area, I looked around for an empty spot but found none.  Sighing, I knew I would have to sit with someone.  Praying that the person sitting where I decided to wouldn't talk to me or even look at me, I walked towards a seat.  I hated meeting new people.  Even after befriending Usagi, I was very shy around strangers.

            The black haired boy, with his hair tightly pulled back out of his face and into a ponytail, was sitting in the corner and seemed very interested in his studies.  Gulping, I decided to sit there and if I hadn't, none of this might have happened. 

            The corner area had a window that was a few feet of the ground, so natural light filled the area.  The specks of dust couldn't be seen as much over there and it seemed very tranquil.  Gulping again, I sat down, nervously looking down and hurrying to open my book.  Flipping to the first page, I glance upward.  You looked up then too.  Your face seemed to be growling at me and I had to restrain myself from jumping out of my seat and running away.

            "Woman, why are you sitting here?" Those were your first words to me.

            "I am sitting here because it looked like a nice place to sit, Man." I calmly spoke back, blushing over my use of the word "man".  Usagi would have cracked up if she heard me say that, in fact all my friends from Tokyo would have at least broken a smile.  You just gave me an evil glare, forcing me to turn my head away.

            "What book are you reading?"  Snapping loudly at me, I was amazed that no librarian or annoyed reader said 'shush'.  They most have known about you and your temper.  Before I knew it, you had grabbed my book and turned it.  Smirked at me, "What are you doing in Oxford? That book is for girls who only can daydream."

            Blushing, I stared down at my folded hands in my lap.  "I miss my friends."

            "Well then, just go back there. This university is no place for some homesick woman."

Snapping my head up, I gave you the must evil look I could muster.  Grabbing my book, I jumped up from the seat.  "I will do fine at this university," I replied angrily at him and stormed away.  This time I took shelter on the other side of the library in order to read my book.  Unfortunately though, I couldn't focus on it because I was so angry over what you had said.

"Will you remember me?"

            Two days went by and I walked over to my first class at this university.  Pushing open the door, I was surprised to see that so many people were there.  Glancing at the clock, I noted that there was still fifteen minutes left till class began.  Everyone here must be as anxious and wanting to be in this class as I am.  I resisted smiling because for once, I wasn't the only intelligent person around who actually wanted to learn.  Looking around for a seat, I noticed you in the classroom and my inner smile disappeared.  You were staring at me, frowning, and a displeased look was in your eyes.  Averting my eyes away, I hurried to a seat in the back corner.  All those years with Usagi and Makoto had taught me that sitting in the back is a lot more fun then in the front, and I didn't have the heart to break that habit now.  

            I was flipping through the text book assigned to the class, already seven chapters ahead, when I noticed a shadow covering me.  Looking up, I tried to lightly smile at your sneering face.

            "What are you doing in this class?"  You asked, as if you couldn't believe I was actually allowed to be here.

            "I am taking med," I almost muttered.

            "You don't have to go to graduate school to become a nurse you know." 

            My eyes turned red at that sexist statement, and it took all I had not to strangle him.  I finally knew how Rei felt sometimes.

            I decided not to reply.

            You decided to sit next to me.  "I might as well watch you, and make sure you don't make any stupid mistakes that could kill a person one day." 

            I only continued to look straight ahead at that statement, my eye twitching. During that time I noticed that most of the people in my classroom were men.  I hoped they wouldn't all be like the one sitting next to me. 

"I could never forget you.

Not even if I tried. "

            A few weeks had passed, and in almost every class I had, you were there.  A lecture had just ended, and the professor was returning our thesis papers back.  Noticing that I received a grade two points higher then you I just couldn't hold back my smirk.  You only growled, making my smirk turn into a big smile. 

            I had found it bizarre; lately I had been smiling a lot.  Sure at home, I would smile occasionally but nowadays I found myself smiling all the time and brightly.  Strangely enough, I usually smiled around you. 

            "There will be a test on mitosis next class." the professor told the class.  My smile unexpectedly became a frown; the class lecture hadn't been about that subject at all.  Noticing my sudden frown, you smirked again.  "If you can't study something without a teachers help, you shouldn't be here, Woman."

            I just continued to frown.  This subject was one that I had learned many times, and each time it just got more complex and harder for me.  In a sense, it was my weakness when it came to biology.  I didn't even understand why I had to learn this I was trying to get a graduate degree in medicine, not in how more cells come to be. 

            "I could help you study," you said nonchalantly for some unexplainable reason.

            "You dislike me though."

            "No, I dislike the idea of a woman being here in this class.  But you seem pretty smart and intelligent.  Most women are just stupid and airheads."

            I nodded my head at that.  Wait, did I just agree with him? My thoughts laughed at me.  

            "How about meeting at the library this Saturday morning?"

            I nodded my head again, and watched you walk out of the classroom.

            What had happened just then I will never know or be able to explain. 

"I hope I won't be some old bad memory to you."

            Saturday morning was a weird one.  You didn't give me any evil glances and you actually seemed to listen to me.  Maybe you finally saw that I was truly bright or possibly, you respected me.  Whatever it was that made you act more kindly to me, I was glad. 

            I now saw you for who you were. Looking past the cold eyes and scrunched up face, I saw your true beauty - devilishly handsome.  Your cold black eyes entranced me and I just wanted to pull your hair out of its tight ponytail to see what it looked like down.  Blushing at my unusual thoughts, I tried to focus on what you said and the books we were looking through. 

            I actually understood photosynthesis and cellular respiration when it came out in your smooth voice, which actually caused me to look at your lips.

            Maybe it wasn't such a good idea that I was now viewing you as my study partner, I thought back then. 

            Your hand touched me as it reached out to flip a page and I felt my heart start beating twice as fast.  Wondering if you deliberately did that, I made my mind believe it was just an accident. 

            Where were my rapid feelings for this boy coming from?  My thoughts could track down no answer.

            Before I knew it, we were done studying and I was completely ready for the test.  Jumping out of my seat, I hurriedly packed my backpack, wanting to get as far away from you and the thoughts running through my head .  I kept telling myself that tomorrow he would be the same old man that hates all women.

            Looking at you, I decided to thank you for your help.  My head was floating in the clouds and I must have looked very ill at ease.  "Thank you…" before I could think about what I was doing, the words came out.  And before my brain could catch up to my mouth, I realized for the first time this morning that I still didn't know your name.  Flustered, I tried searching my brain for your name.  How could I like a man that was nameless to me?

            "Wufei," he replied before I could even give him a questioning look.

            "Ami.  Thank you Wufei."  I smiled and started to turn around.

            "Ami, would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?"

            I think I almost had a heart attack at that moment and my backpack dropped to the ground, causing a huge noise to fill the quiet library.  Everyone looked up from their books and stared at me.  My legs were slightly shaking as I quietly scoped up my books and whispered a "yes" to you.

            "Meet me here at six"

            I nodded and almost sprinted away. 

"You deserve some happy memories in your life."

            It was the weirdest date ever.  I didn't know what to say to you, and you would only look at me.  The only thing that broke the silence was when the waitress spoke to us and you snapped at her.  It was a pretty restaurant though, and the movie afterwards was… well not one to remember. 

            After that you took me out again and again and before you knew it, we were having decent conversations.  Amazing to think that I could get you past calling me unfit to be in Oxford.  To bad you could never stop calling me 'woman', but after awhile it sort of became a nickname.

            Before you knew it, we were always together.  People began to call us a couple, daters, lovers.  I was always smiling, the happiest I had been in years.  You couldn't keep your hands off me, so everyone just gave us that funny little smile when we told them that we got an apartment together.  Our own little romantic paradise. 

"And Wufei, I love you."

            Minako came to visit us in Oxford at the end of our first year of graduate school, do you remember that?  She had a modeling jig in London for the weekend, before she was off to Paris.  We decided to go to the movie theatre with her, and see the latest premier and escape our studies to becoming doctors.  Except, you forgot to bring enough money for the both of us and when I offered to pay for myself, you, well, went ballistic.  Saying that a "Women shouldn't pay for herself on a date" and "Women can't" and "Men should."  Of course, I disagreed, and though I didn't yell back at you, I spoke quite harshly and coldly, saying that "A woman can too pay for her own movie ticket even if she does have a date!"

            I stormed up to the ticket booth and bought my ticket for the movie before you could say a word otherwise.  All you could do was give me an evil glare and mutter angry words, while I tried to muster the best cross and upset response that I could.  I am not very good at being angry, am I?

            Before we, or more likely you, could start yelling anymore, Minako stepped in the space between us.  With a joking smile, she calmly stated "Pride will tear you both apart." Somehow, the way she spoke them made us both shut up, make-up by just glancing into each others eyes, and go inside to see the movie.  I think her words, though she meant it in a joking way, gave us both an eerie feeling about the future. 

"It is hard to believe that what Minako said was true."

            When the Sailor Soldiers first broke up and we all decided to go our own separate ways and live our own lives, it was because of what Pluto said.  Pluto had appeared before us, during one of our scout meetings when we were preparing to graduate from high school, and she told us that our futures had been changed.  Usagi would never become Neo Queen Serenity and we, her faithful protectors, would never need to guard her.  Crystal Tokyo's chance for a future had ended because of the start of a revolt on some colony that would turn into battles and eventually into a full flung war with many different nations involved. 

            When Pluto first told us about this revolt, she didn't tell us when it would start.  So the Sailor Soldiers prepared to help the world, not by magic, but by human weapons.  We prepared ourselves, learning how to use guns, and mobile suits, and any other man made weapon.  We waited for the revolt, ready to choose the side going for peace and hopefully end it sooner then Pluto's time gate told her.

            The revolt never came though and we decided that rather then waiting, we might as well make the best of our lives.  That was when we broke up and I decided to go to Oxford. 

            Who would have thought that the revolt had actually happened a few years prior to that?  It was such a small revolt on a pointless colony that not even the news thought much about it.  But this revolt grew into an underground revolution and this revolution started many battles on many different colonies, and that is when we, the Sailor Soldiers, heard about them.  I guess we weren't supposed to change the timeline this time.

            Rei called one early morning at the beginning of the second year at graduate school, saying that she and some of the other Soldiers had decided to join the army fighting to maintain the peace.  Mamoru and Usagi had little ChibiUsa to think of, so they rejected the call to protect the Earth.  Minako was producing a movie and couldn't break her contract, so she couldn't join but Makoto left her restaurant business and signed up.  Michiru, Haruka and Hotaru of course all joined, always ready for battle.  And well, Rei called saying she would really appreciate it if I joined and since she had managed to get us all to work in the same area, that she would really need my intellectual skills on the battlefield.  This battlefield would be very different then the ones we fought before as Sailor Soldiers.  This battlefield would be more dangerous and deadly, considering that if we died there fighting, we weren't coming back. 

            I accepted the call to battle right away and enlisted that very morning.  The next day I would be was flying out to the colonies to train with my friends and prepare to maintain peace and stop the revolution. 

"Pride really did tear us apart."

            It took a few moments to for the rush, of getting to see my friends again and do something to help the world, to die down and that was when I recalled that I had forgotten about you.  How does one forget to tell their loved one that they had enlisted and were leaving the next day?  How did I not even notice you when I got out of our bed this morning and left?

            Walking back to our apartment, I tried to think of what to tell you and how you would react.  I knew it wasn't going to be good.  Entering into the apartment, I slowly walked into the bedroom, where you were practicing your martial arts skills.  You were quite skilled at that.  I couldn't help but stare at you for a few slowly passing moments before you stopped, turned to me, and spoke.

            "What, woman?"

            "Wufei… I… I…" This was one of the first times in my life that I didn't know what the proper thing to say would be.  I was unprepared and couldn't help to just stare at you, hoping that you would be able to read my mind and understand what I was going to do.

            You couldn't read minds though. You are after all only human. "What? I don't have all day for you to just stare at me woman."

            Glaring at you, I found the courage to say what I needed to say.  "I have enlisted Wufei! I am leaving tomorrow for the colonies!" My hands ran to cover my mouth.  I regretted what how I had just said, what I just said.  There must have been an easier way of telling you.

            "What!" Your face grew red and your hands raised themselves into the air.  "No woman of mine will ever fight! Women are weak and incapable of battle.  They have no place near the battlefield.  Woman, I command you to stay here!"  Crossing your arms over your chest, you gave me a belittling look. 

            Staring down at the floor, anger filled my body over your words but I was also already regretting what I had to say and do next.  Whispering I stated, "Women are not weak Wufei and I despise how sexist you are.  Women can fight and this woman will join in that fight." 
            With those words I turned around and walked out of the apartment, slowly shutting the door behind me.  Slamming the door in anger wouldn't get me anywhere, only cause a loud sound.  Trying to calmly walk to my car, I tried to fight back the tears that were coming.  Sliding into my seat, my chest pounded with the heartbreak happening internally.  Starting the engine and driving away, I got to the first stop sign before I broke down.  Gripping the steering wheel I could feel the tears slid down my cheek and the pain in my chest became unbearable.  Why did I have to choose my duty to protect mankind over you this morning? What was I thinking? I could have told Rei that I had too much going on in my life and rejected enlisting.  I could of…

            A car honked behind me and I noticed the light had turned green.  Wiping the tears from my eyes, I started to drive again.  I knew that no matter how bad it felt to part from you on such bad terms, duty is more important.  My duty to protect the world comes before else.  I could not be selfish and just think about you and me.  No; I could never be that selfish and let thousands of others die just so you and I could stay together. 

            I drove to the shuttle station and by the next day I was at the training camp, preparing for battle and getting over the pain of a lost love with the help of some friends. 

"And maybe, maybe you were right Wufei.

I am sorry."

Her heart beats began to slow down,

As her breaths began to quicken.

Her body shook

When more blood came out of her chest wound,

And she began to feel numb.

Her breathing began to slow down

And then it unexpectedly stopped.

Her mouth was still open,

Seeming to beg for more air to fill her empty lungs.

Her cerulean eyes were still open,

Staring hazily at the world above,

And a single tear had dried on her cheek.

No one noticed her body till the next morning,

When the dust had all settled down

And the sun shined brightly in the sky.