Ok, so I got this fic stuck in my head. I'm going to let you know that it will only be a two, maybe three shot. I already have the ending planed. But if there are enough reviews and or request I will work on revising it, and turning it into a full story. I really enjoyed writing it and got it all done in one night. So if wanted I will make it longer and add a Edward/Bella romance to it. Hope you enjoy and PLEASE Review or else I wont know what you want lol. Also, I had the song 'Breath Me' by Sia on repeat during the whole time i was writing, and i have to say it goes very well with the fic. I definitely recommend listening to it while reading.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with Twilight.

It was demented. It was sick, crazy, and very disturbing. I lost myself in the emotional pain while craving the physical that I knew I could handle. That's all there was. Just the excruciating pain. It was all I had left. Everything was gone. My home, my family, even my crazy loving friends. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't blame them, I knew it wasn't their fault for having to leave me.

I curled up into a ball on the floor of the empty restroom stale. No one would be looking for me until the six am checkup. I had a good five hours to drown myself in the pain. I have been here many times before. And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame.

I sighed and looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time. Twelve thirty four am. Only three minutes since the last time I checked. I was starting to get really worried, and irritated. They were never late. I had told them I would wait up since they let me use their copy of the house key. I had planned to go out with Angela earlier today. And had lost my copy for the fifth time, last week.

I pulled out my phone and called the Black's again. After the seventh ring the answering machine picked up.

"Hi Billy, this is Bella again. Um, my parents said that the party would be over at ten. There still not home yet and I was wondering if their still there. Please call me as soon as you get this." I hung up the phone, only to pick it up not even fifteen seconds later.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Hey it's Jake." I exhale a breath I didn't realize I was holding, feeling a little hope.

"Hey Jacob, are my mom and dad still there?"

"Bella, um, they left almost three hours ago." I could hear the worry in his voice. My blood ran cold. Something was wrong. I jerked my head to the front door when I heard a knock, and sighed in relief.

"Finally!" I gave a short laugh for letting myself worry. "Jake?, Hey there home, sorry for bothering you. I call you tomorrow, Bye." I hung up the phone and ran to the door.

"It's about time, you guys had my worried si-" I cut my self off when I noticed who was on the other side.

"Officer Davis?" He was one of my dad's best friends and coworker. I noticed right away that his eyes were blood shot.

"NO!" I screamed, throwing myself at him, hitting his chest as hard as I could as he tried to wrap his arms around me, keeping me upright.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

"No, no, no" It came out as a whispered chant, over and over, until I finally let the pain and stress take over. Making me numb and dead to the world around me.

Three years have past. They suffered for two hours. If only they could have waited fifteen more minutes, they would have gotten the help they needed. Dad had taken the back roads home from La Push due to the traffic form the Homecoming Football game. There was a deer. A stupid insufficient animal.

Dad lost conscious on impact, slowly dieing from internal bleeding. Mom suffered the whole two hours, paralyzed from the waist down. Unable to wake Charlie. And to weak to move. Fifteen minutes after their last breaths, a teenager on his way home from the after game party took a wrong turn, and found there car.

I couldn't remember much after Officer Davis left. He must have called the Blacks, because I woke up the next day in Jacob's bed. I had found him snoring on the living room couch that seemed way too little for his huge body. The days passed, blurring into each other. I never talked. I never showed emotion. I was just there. A shell of my old self. I become too much for Billy to take care of on his own. So, he sent me here. A children's home for the mentally disabled. I never blamed him, and I never will. He tried and that's more then I could ever ask for. Jake came to see me once a week for the first three months. Then it was every other week. His visits became less and less. Until one day he just never showed. It's been a year and a half since I have seen him. And no I don't blame him either. I'm no longer the Bella he used to love. I rather have it this way anyhow. I can no longer hurt anyone. And I never have to deal with the loss of a loved one. That's another reason I refuse to talk. So people knew to stay away.

I pulled my self up off the floor reaching into my robes one and only pocket, pulling out the box cutter blade rapped in gauze. Once unwrapped I folded a couple peaces of tissue on the floor, ready for when I needed them.

Pulling up the sleeve of the old robe and hospital gown, I looked at all my old scares and the healing lacerations from my most recent brake down. There had to be at least a hundred thin lined scares, all at different angles. Each at least three inches long. I always wore long sleeves. No one ever noticed or asked why. They would never get an answer anyway. My recent cuts were healing nicely. A little red, but that was about it. They were already scabbed over.

I heaved a sigh and picked up the blade, holding it to my arm pointing towards my wrist, lying over four or five scares. Applying enough pressure to dig into my skin. I sucked in a breath through clinched teeth. Looking down at the blade as it cut through each layer of my skin, going deeper and deeper. I had to apply more pressure due to all the scares it was cutting through. My blood slowly seeping out around the blade, yet I kept going. I didn't want to stop. I needed more. This pain, took away all others. I lost myself again. I thought about my mother and her beautiful smile. My father and his blushing cheeks when he showed me he cared. I thought about my Jacob and his warm embrace when ever I was sad or scared. I thought about Angela and the beautiful friendship we shared. I thought about everything I lost in the matter of one night. And I did it. I have finally given up. I looked down at the blade that was halfway embedded in my wrist and arm. I could see lose flesh wrapped around it. The blood was flowing freely now. I was quickly becoming dizzy and light headed. I knew that if I didn't stop and get help right now. I would bleed to death. And just thinking about that, I have never felt so free and weightless before in my life. I knew it was over. I honestly never intended to kill myself. But with the way that I was feeling, the freedom, the tranquility of it. I wish I would have done it sooner.

My last thoughts before the darkness I craved over took me, was of my mother and father in the car, minutes before the accident. But this time…. I was with them.

Really hope you guyz liked it, Review and let me know, also I have no Beta, Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. I'll prabably be posting the next chapter tomorrow if not tonight

*HUGZ&SKITTLES*