Work Out

Author: Mirfaen

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, Tolkien does; I am not getting any profit from them.

Summary: The Hobbits ponder how the warriors of the Fellowship stay in shape and their musings lead to a contest between the Ranger and the Elf.

**

"Strider, do you work out?"

"…Pardon?"

"You know, push ups and sit ups and all."

"Merry!" Frodo hissed at his cousin.

"What? I was just wondering, that's all. No harm in a question." Merry said defensively as Pippin handed him a bowl of steaming soup. "He just looks fit. Are you fit, Strider?"

Aragorn shifted his eyes about the rest of the Fellowship as though looking for help. No one offered their aid so he turned somewhat reluctantly to Merry. "I suppose."

"So you do push ups?" Pippin piped up, settling down next to Merry and Frodo with his own bowl of soup. "How many can you do? Can you clap in between them?"

Frodo shook his head, but his eyes were clearly alight with his wish to know the answer as well. Sam glanced up hopefully from where he was reaching to hand Gimli a bowl. Boromir watched the procedings in a reserved way from the other side of the camp.

"Trust a hobbit to ask three separate questions in one breath." Gandalf muttered next to Aragorn with a good-natured twinkle in his eye.

"I for one am interested in the answers." Legolas spoke up lightly from where he stood stoically at the edge of camp. He raised his slender eyebrows and smiled in Aragorn's direction.

All eyes turned to the Ranger and he glared at the Elf for moment before gazing around at all of them. He waited for several moments and gazed at them dramatically, realizing that he now had the entire fellowship waiting with baited breath for the answer to a quite irrelevant question.

"I do not work out regularly, no."

Pippin gasped, spilling some of his soup onto his hands. "Then how can you go on so many scouts? Don't you run a lot on those? I heard that Rangers run all the time."

Aragorn had opened his mouth to answer when Merry reached over Frodo to poke the man in the stomach. Aragorn moved back and swatted the little hand away.

"It's hard!" Merry declared triumphantly, holding his finger aloft for proof.

"Your finger is hard?" Pippin asked suspiciously.

A slight chuckle could be heard from Boromir as Merry shot Pippin an exasperating look.

"No, Pip. His stomach is hard."

Pippin frowned in skepticism. "How can you not work out and have a hard stomach, Strider?"

Aragorn shook his dark head and a smile could be seen on his face. "It comes with being a Ranger. Much walking, running, working and fighting keeps my body in shape naturally. It happens on its own."

An Elven snort came from across the camp and all eyes turned back to see Legolas standing in the shadows of the surrounding trees and gazing up into the night sky as though studying the stars. Then he glanced down at them with a glimmer in his eye. "That is quite a contradictory statement, Aragorn. Fitness does not come naturally." Then he flashed a brilliant, playful smile. "For men, that is."

All four Hobbits grinned and turned back to Aragorn, awaiting his response. Boromir's eyes had narrowed slightly, judging that the Elf was jesting but with a thread of doubt lingering in his mind. Gimli muttered something under his breath that no one could quite catch and tipped his bowl up to his lips, the steaming soup dribbling down his wiry beard.

Aragorn raised an eyebrow at Legolas from where he sat on the ground. "And Elves are naturally fit?"

"As one who has had much experience with my race, I believe you know the answer." Legolas returned lightly, gazing distractedly around at the tree trunks like they were works of art.

"No?" Gimli muttered a hopeful reply under his breath.

The Elf shot a steel-edged look in the Dwarf's direction and Aragorn quickly stood and spoke, laying a still-full bowl of Sam's soup beside him on the ground. "I cannot imagine an Elf laying on a velvet couch without moving and eating for half a century and then being able to hop nimbly outdoors when the battle cry sounds."

"Though doubtless many have done so." Gimli added and punctuated his words with a finalizing burp as Merry leaned in and began whispering excitedly to Pippin and Frodo.

"Have you ever seen the sons of Elrond do sit ups in all your time with them?" Legolas asked with a superior air, ignoring the Dwarf's comment and folding his arms over his middle. He tilted his shoulders back slightly and an eyebrow leapt up.

Aragorn could not say that he had seen his adopted brothers working out and stood searching for an appropriately challenging response. In his moment of indecision, the sounds of delighted Hobbit whisperings reached his ears and he turned his gaze slowly to find Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Sam leaning their curly heads in towards each other in a small sort of huddle. Not realizing that their conversation was now being observed by the rest of the Fellowship, the Hobbits plunged on.

"Very solid, Pip." Merry nodded vigorously, his head being not two inches from the others.

"Would you say it was more like wood or steel?" Pippin asked with distant eyes as though he were working out a complex math problem in his head.

There was a momentary pause as Merry looked up into the sky. "Steel. Definitely steel."

"He must do something, then, besides walking with us all day long." Sam put in thoughtfully, and glanced to Frodo.

Frodo nodded in agreement. "But when would he have time?"

"I'll bet Boromir works out too." Pippin stated suddenly and randomly. "He's very strong. Or - leastwise he looks very strong."

The three other heads nodded quickly in unison and around them in a larger circle, the Fellowship glanced around at each other with amusement. Gandalf's eyes were twinkling and there was a smile under his beard. Boromir was smiling as well, though he kept his head down.

"Now Gimli seems to have it naturally." Merry concluded. "Dwarves must be naturally fit."

"Then Legolas must as well." Frodo said. "I do believe him when he says Elves have it naturally."

"Though he never actually said it…" Merry pointed out and the other three raised their heads then nodded slowly like they had just discovered a vital piece to a difficult puzzle.

"Then perhaps Elves are not naturally fit!" Pippin proclaimed loudly and at that point the Halflings should have realized that their conversation was not their own from the loudness of Pippin's voice and the silence of the Fellowship. But alas, they are Hobbits and when the minds of Hobbits are determinedly focused, there is no telling when they will turn their senses outward again.

"He does go ahead of us quite often," Sam reasoned. "And he's always quick about it. Mayhap that's how he gets his exercise."

Aragorn sent a smirk across the camp to the Elf, who narrowed his eyes dangerously in return.

"No, that small bit would not be enough to get him into perfect shape." Merry said quietly and thoughtfully. "I can't see how he could do it other than…well, not doing it. You know, not needing to."

Both of Legolas' dark eyebrows rose as he looked back at Aragorn in a victorious manner.

"Someone should tell them that we are listening." Boromir said, taking a tentative spoonful of the soup.

"I agree." Frodo continued their conversation firmly, his mind not registering the man's words. "Legolas must be naturally fit."

"But now Aragorn…" Pippin trailed off in deep thought. "Maybe he does push ups while we sleep."

Legolas laughed softly at the comment and his eyes were alight with mirth as he shifted stance in the shadows where he stood. Aragorn shook his head and sat back down on the ground in resignation.

"We can hear what your saying." Gimli said gruffly at the Hobbits as he rummaged through his pack for his pipe.

Four curly heads lifted simultaneously like they were awaking from a slumber and they glanced about themselves at a very amused Fellowship. Frodo's eyes widened and then darted to the ground quickly and Sam flushed a deep red while murmuring something to himself. Pippin and Merry beamed from ear to ear and gazed around proudly.

"We have decided -" Pippin proclaimed, "That Legolas is naturally fit because he is an Elf and that Aragorn works out while we sleep."

Merry smacked his friend in the stomach. "We never decided that!"

"So you see, mellon nin." Legolas called to Aragorn with a jubilant grin. "The Halflings have solved the riddle that you were unable to."

Aragorn scowled at the contented Elf. "You cannot possibly hope to make me believe you have gone your whole life without doing a single sit up."

"Nay, my quick tempered friend, those were not my words."

"So you admit that you need to work out to stay in shape?"

"Nay!"

"You probably would not last very long in a good hearty work out…"

Legolas' mouth opened and he paused with bright eyes before closing it again. Then he turned swiftly and ran his hand down the smooth trunk of the tall tree behind him. With all watching, he quietly stepped to the next tree and inspected its branches.

"The Elf has gone mad." Gimli said after a moment of silence with a disdainful shake of his head. "Gandalf, we would be better off to tie him to his beloved tree and leave him there to watch its branches. We can continue on the quest without him."

"Had you been graced with a small amount of brain-power, Dwarf, you would have noticed my purpose." Legolas said calmly as he moved on to the next tree. With a quick look at its branches, he turned back with a haughty glance before removing the leather straps of his quiver and laying it gently on the ground nearby, his two white knives following.

"Tie him up, Gandalf…what if he does this when Sauron's armies attack, hm? He will be no good. Besides perhaps as a play toy to toss to the Orcs and distract them while we escape…"

Gandalf sent Gimli a warning look and the Dwarf fell silent with a grunt. Gandalf turned back to see what it was Legolas was planning to do. The Hobbits gazed at the tall warrior with unchecked curiosity and even Boromir was watching openly.

Legolas jumped upwards and grabbed a hold of a branch high above his head and then swung his legs forward gracefully, hooking his knees over one branch and his ankles under another. Then he released the branch over his head and leaned back so that his body was perfectly horizontal in mid-air, his strong legs remaining hooked in the branches and supporting the weight of his torso.

He twisted slightly so that he looked back at the Fellowship, his long pale hair falling into empty air below his head. His eyes sparkled with the light of the stars above him. "Come, Man of the steel stomach! I challenge you to a duel of strength and endurance!" He then folded his arms over his chest and did several sit ups in the air to demonstrate. He turned and glanced at Aragorn with mock reconsideration. "Unless you think yourself unfit for the task…"

Aragorn stared at his friend a moment before tilting his head slightly, a sly smile drawing on the corners of his stubbled mouth. "I am only worried for your safety, should I agree to such a match. It would be most unfortunate for you to damage yourself so early in the journey."

"It wouldn't be so bad, lad!" Gimli burst, taking the pipe from his mouth. "Accept the duel and show him what real strength looks like. And if he does damage himself, naught will be lost."

Legolas' eyes flamed and he glared hard at the Dwarf as he reached up to hang onto the branch over his head with one arm. "I would invite you, if I thought there would be any challenge in it."

"Then you realize I would win - it's all right, Princeling. Many have to come to terms with Dwarven superiority."

"All I must come to terms with is Dwarven egoism."

A loud, exasperated sigh came forth from Gandalf's direction and he appeared ready to clobber both Elf and Dwarf with his staff when Aragorn once again intervened.

"Legolas, I accept your challenge." He said with a formal dip of his head and came forward. The Elf's eyes glittered and a small smile flashed on his lips.

The Hobbits all cheered their approval and gathered around in a cluster at Gandalf's feet to watch the show. Boromir as well moved forward silently and watched with interest as Aragorn hooked his legs over and then under the branches at Legolas' left side.

"We shall do the sit ups at the same time," Legolas began once his friend was situated. "I shall count, as you will need to save your breath. We will continue until you give up or fall off. Or, until you become fatigued and go so slow that I do double your count…"

"Or until the Elf gets a good wallop in the stomach and is unable to continue." Gimli cheerfully offered another outcome.

"Gimli." Gandalf warned sharply, his grey eyebrows bristling.

"Simply making it fair, Gandalf."

"Are you ready?" Legolas asked Aragorn in a tone that suggested he did not believe the man was ready at all. The Hobbits looked on with excited grins.

"Of course." Aragorn leaned back next into the air to Legolas and folded his arms over his chest as the Elf had done.

"One…two…three…four…"

And so it began, both of them rising and falling next to each other a good four or five feet in the air without the faintest trace of difficulty. Legolas counted each rise with his voice calm and unhindered. The firelight flickered and Boromir moved to toss another log into the flames. Minutes passed without so much as a falter in the steady rhythm of the Ranger and Elf. They continued as such until the onlookers noticed that the count began to slow ever so slightly.

"Ninety-two…ninety-three…"

Aragorn's body began to shake just barely enough to be seen each time he pulled himself up, but his rhythm did not slow in the least. Seeing this, Gimli unexpectantly grunted and got up, walking sideways several paces before settling himself down again in a different position. He set to smoking his pipe again, puffing out large swirls of greyish fumes.

"Ninety-nine…One -" Legolas' voice suddenly cracked and he broke out into a hacking cough. He continued coughing uncontrollably but did not miss a single beat, pulling himself up and down with Aragorn, who turned and looked his friend over with concerned eyes. Legolas waved a hand behind him as he choked and struggled to inhale properly.

"One hundred and two…" Frodo said uncertainly, trying to guess what it was the Elf wanted. This seemed to be it though, as the Elf placed his arms back around his stomach and sat up with a gasping cough before laying back down again.

"Legolas?" Aragorn said and his voice was strained as they rose and fell, his torso tremoring. "We can pause for a moment."

The Elf shook his head immediately and continued with determination.

Merry looked around suspiciously. "Hoy, Gimli! I do believe your smoke is getting at Legolas."

Gimli looked up at the Hobbit calmly. "Is it now?" He removed the pipe from his mouth and let out a long wisp of smoke in the Elf's direction. "I didn't realize."

Legolas choked again, coughs racking his slender frame and he twisted slightly to get air.

"Gimli!" Gandalf called promptly and sharply. "Remove yourself from there!"

"My apologies, Gandalf." Gimli took his time standing and slowly collecting his few belongings, continuing to puff out smoke towards Legolas as he did so. Then he ambled his way back to his original spot and sat down again.

The Elf's coughs did not subside for some time and Frodo became the official counter. The Hobbits settled in, shifting to get more comfortable. The two bodies rose and fell simultaneously, lit by the flickering orange of the fire, one shaking silently with every rise and the other coughing to rid his lungs of the toxic smoke.

"A hundred and twenty-nine…Hundred and thirty…Hundred and thirty-one…"

Time passed and the rhythm of the sit ups slowed again. Legolas' coughing had finally calmed and he suddenly glanced at a weary Aragorn with a glint in his eye. Doubling his efforts, the Elf unexpectedly quickened his pace and began pulling himself up twice as fast as the man.

Gimli's brows knotted and he muttered something about the ill-placed pride of the Elves while Gandalf chuckled and shook his head. The Hobbits hooted ecstatically, though Frodo became somewhat confused as to how to proceed. He kept count with Legolas but was not sure what to do with Aragorn.

"Hundred and seventy seven, hundred and seventy eight, hundred and seventy nine…"

Thankfully the other Hobbits saw his plight and were more than happy to join in. Merry and Pippin began counting for Aragorn, who had turned to look at the Elf with danger in his eyes, while Sam joined Frodo.

"Hundred and eighty one, hundred and eighty two…"

"Hundred and seventy eight…hundred and seventy nine…"

"Come, Aragorn! Show the pointy-ear how its done!" Gimli burst encouragement to the fatigued Ranger with a wave of his pipe.

"Tiring already, Man of the steel stomach?" Legolas quipped, his voice slightly less than its full strength, as he worked to keep his count ahead of the human's.

Aragorn shook his head silently, saving his breath, and his own pace slowly grew quicker. His body continued to tremble every time he pulled himself up but it seemed to not hinder him. The Hobbits cheered again and Boromir laughed quietly to himself at the spectacle.

"Have we truly come to this for entertainment?" Gandalf said with a good-natured smile to no one in particular. "Watching our companions attempt to best each other at sit ups?"

"It is either this, or Dwarf-tossing, Mithrandir!" Legolas called cheerfully, keeping a close eye on the rhythm of the Ranger at his side as he rose and fell steadily.

Gimli jumped to his feet, his eyes narrowed and his mail shirt jingling. "Aragorn!" He said and walked purposefully to where two friends rose up and down five feet above the ground. "Allow me to assist you." With that, he reached up and grabbed onto Legolas' shoulders just as the Elf came down and did not let go.

"Let go, Dwarf!" Legolas shouted angrily and struggled to rise, but found that he could not. His slender frame shook under the strain and his eyes suddenly grew wide.

"Gimli!" Came a chorus of Hobbit voices and Pippin got up, latching onto the Dwarf's arm and trying to pull him away.

"No fair, Gimli! It has to be fair!"

"He's going to fall!"

Legolas' arms shot over his head and grabbed onto the Dwarf's shoulders for support in his vulnerable position. His eyes gleamed something deadly.

"Step away, Peregrin." He said briskly and his tone was such that the Hobbit retreated quickly to sit by the other three Halflings.

Then, with the swiftness of a thunderbolt, the Prince pushed off from the tree branch and flipped over the Dwarf's head, twisting in the air and landing lightly behind him. As he came down, however, he laid a hand on Gimli's helmeted head and shoved it hard into the trunk of the tree with a resounding clang.

"Blasted Elf!" The Dwarf swung about in rage, snatching the smaller axe from his belt and coming forward. Legolas stared back hard and shifted stance, ready for the Dwarf.

Gandalf was suddenly between them in a flurry of grey cloaks, and pushed Legolas several paces back with the end of his staff in the Elf's chest before turning and warding the Dwarf off with the other end. "Confounded creatures, cease this petty quarreling! Act like the warriors I know you to be, not selfish children!"

The two stood poised without saying a word, glaring at each other. Neither wished to be the first to back down.

"Two hundred." Aragorn broke the silence in a strained voice as he got gingerly back to the ground. He looked proudly at Legolas. "I believe I just won, Prince."

Legolas gazed back, apalled at his friend's words. "Did you not see that I was interfered with?"

"I did. However, I do not recall you mentioning anything about such things having an effect on the final count. You stopped before I did and I surpased your score."

"That is the way, Aragorn." Gimli said happily and moved to sit down with his pipe again. The Hobbits watched with broad smiles, turning their heads to each friend as they spoke.

"Aragorn, that is cheating."

"Is it? You should have stated so before we began. I do believe you said only that one would lose by giving up or falling off."

"I said you would lose as such. And besides, I did neither of those."

"I saw you falling out of the corner of my eye..." Aragorn trailed off and shrugged as though it were something unfortunate that he could not help while attempting to conceal a smile.

"That was not a fall." Legolas then fell quiet and looked at his friend indignantly for a moment. "I notice you did nothing to help me in my troubles."

"With your vast extent of superior Elven abilities I assumed you would be able to take care of yourself. Forgive me if I misjudged your capabilities."

"I will agree to a draw, Human, until we can have a rematch. I did not lose."

Aragorn pondered this for a minute. "Very well." He grinned and gave a small bow. "Until next time, my worthy opponent."

Legolas dipped his head. "Until next time."

With that, Gandalf got up and began to hustle everyone to their bedrolls. The Hobbits were sad to see the duel come to an end, but were nonetheless cheered and happy with its outcome. They fell quickly asleep in small bundles of curly hair and feet.

Aragorn agreed to take first watch and keep the fire alight, explaining that his body's energy was still flowing from the work out and he would not be able to sleep anyway. The others settled in on the ground and soon the sound of deep breathing filled the area.

Aragorn sat down quietly on a nearby rock where he had a good view of the camp and began to massage his aching abs. The sound of wind rustling the leaves filtered into his ears, combining with the softly flickering firelight to create a tranquil ambience.

"Sleep with one eye open, Ranger."

Aragorn jumped at the soft voice and spun to see Legolas standing behind him. The Elf's face was hard and impassive, but there was a faint glimmer of laughter deep in his dark eyes.

"Had that Dwarf not held me down, I believe we would have had a different outcome. You would be wise not to take advantage of such things in the future." Legolas turned and bent his knees, ready to leap into the branches above him but then paused and glanced back to Aragorn. "And the next time a member of the Fellowship gangs up on you, I may be harder to find than usual."

Then he jumped up and swung into the tree over Aragorn's head, disappearing from the man's view. Small sounds of moving twigs and leaves followed before the camp fell silent once more. Aragorn watched the branches for several minutes before smiling and shifting his gaze back to the slumbering camp. He knew that his friend was still above him, keeping watch over him just as he kept watch over the Fellowship.

**

I hope you enjoyed this little bit. My other stuff is in the works, but I hit a pretty good block on all of them and had to get my creative juices flowing again. So this story happened.

I'd love to get some reviews on this one so if you liked it, let me know!

Mirfaen