Sakura's Point of View (flashback edition)

Ever since I could remember I've immensely disliked Sayoran Li. Okay so I haven't really disliked him since the beginning, but...it's hard to not to dislike him. I know thats not a good thing to say about someone, but seriously, this boy gets on my nerves. Of course he wasn't ALWAYS a jerk. When I first met him in 9th grade, I thought his amber eyes were the kindest I have ever seen in my entire life. At that time we were stand partners, compliments of Mr. T, and didn't really say that much to each other. After I joked about a few mess-ups about a few mistakes, he smiled (a really nice one I might add), and seemed to open up.

It took a while, but we became friends, in a strange sort of way. He was still rather quiet, yet really sincere when he talked about the things he enjoyed. To be honest, I don't remember much as to what he liked. I think it was sword fighting, and was it math? Oh well, the only reason why I remember that he liked fighting was that he invited me to watch him fight at a tournament, but I had to turn him down because that was the anniversary...of the day mom died. I felt bad for turning him down, but I knew I needed to spend that day crying and visiting mom's grave. He didn't seemed bothered by it, so I thought everything was okay.

Strange thing though is that I saw Eriol-kun at the cemetery too where mom was buried, and we talked some about special people in our lives who have died. Apparently his grandmother died back in 7th grade. It was nice to think of the good memories of family, even though I can't remember all that much about my mom. I know she loved cherry blossoms, and smelled of vanilla. In some ways I miss her soo much. I wish she was here to help me with all the problems I have now.

The next day in orchestra, Sayoran started to pick on how I didn't flat a note enough, or I should have shifted rather than stayed in a particular position. As usual I didn't mind, he usually gave me pointers, but jeeze, could he at least could have lightened up a bit? He was being more and more picky as the day went, until afterclass he yelled,

"Why are you even in orchestra if you suck so bad!!!!"

I was kinda speechless. I didn't understand what was going on. I mean, girls tend to be more PMS-y, but he was really REALLY over doing it! I couldn't help it but I yelled back at him,

"I wouldn't suck so bad if you would stop pressuring me!"

Actually I think this angered him more, and he left in a huff. Sadly I watched him go, but I couldn't really do anything about it. He was angry, and no matter what I did or said didn't seem to make a difference, so why salvage a relationship that was headed for failure anyway?

The next couple days in orchestra were pretty silent. Sayoran didn't talk to me at all, and I didn't talk to him either. Personally I thought this whole argument was rather stupid, but...meh. He'll talk to me when he's ready or anything like that.

Then in Orchestra on a Friday, I came into the classroom and over heard Sayoran saying really loudly that, "...Kinomoto-san, is soooo busy that she'll go to a cemetery to romance with boys!! HA! How romantic KINOMOTO! I just LOVE your sense of style and uniqueness!!" At that moment I felt my heart in my throat, and my cheeks burn. Then one of the boys of whom he was talking to, noticed me in the room, and tapped Sayoran on the shoulder, who looked up suddenly and noticed me. Tears welled up and a few slithered down my cheeks as turned and briskly walked back out of the room. I couldn't handle this. I was already upset from the anniversary of my mothers death, that...I didn't want to think anymore. I just wanted to get away...from...everything.

When I heard a patter of footsteps and Sayoran's voice calling me from down the hallway, I took off running at a sprint. I couldn't face him. Not after that embarrassment. He didn't understand. He wouldn't EVER understand. I heard someone running behind me, and I knew he was following me. I had to get away. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hear him. I didn't want to smell him. I wanted to cry, cry for a long time, and just stop feeling things altogether.

I ran a corner and ducked into an empty classroom, hiding behind the slightly door, and watched Sayoran stop right in front of my hiding place. I was breathing pretty hard, specially with tears streaming down my cheeks, but I somehow managed to keep quiet. Everything hurt. My eyes hurt (probably from crying). my chest hurt (probably from running). My nose hurt (probably from both running and crying). And I wished so much that I could just die right then and there. It would totally be better than having to go to orchestra to face him. I watched him from the gap between the door's hinges, as my breaths of air began to slow, and my heart beat go back to normal.

He was breathing hard too, and from the look on his face he was obviously. You could tell he was discouraged by the angle his thick eyebrows made. His chestnut hair was thoroughly messed up, as his amber eyes looked further down the hall in desperation. I don't think I've ever seen him be quite so desperate, but it wasn't the time anymore.

He was a bully plain and simple. He didn't want to say "I'm sorry". He just wanted to rub it in my face more of all the awful mean things he said in class. He just wanted to look good, at the expense of my feelings. He didn't consider me a friend...

and probably that last one was what hurt me the most, because...

I realized then and there, in some uncanny way, I had fallen in love with him. Him. Sayoran Li. The bastard who just made fun of me in front of the entire Tomeda Symphony Orchestra! How could I have fallen in love with such a low life punk!! Lemme tell you that bastard was going to pay! Or at the very least get kicked in the balls by all the football players (yes, I could get a bunch of them to do that for me).

And just as quickly I fell out of love with him. Don't get me wrong, he is hott and everything, but personality and mean things totally cancel that out.

Sayoran Li was now my arch nemisis, and yes, there was going to be hell to pay after all the stupid blasted things he did to me!!!