Yet for all her flaws, she was still the best mother Bella could ask for. Till date, her heart breaks a little whenever she sees her mother's photograph even then she masters the perfect smile on her face roaming the streets alone black and white faces all around her. Keeping the faith in god and hope that whatever happens will happen for a reason. Growing up with her grandparents who left their precious house they call home to give everything they could to do the little 9 year old girl with big dark brown eyes caring less about themselves meanwhile her father fighting the seas in the nautical world.
Life showed her different colours, colours that she was not ready to see. She always wondered if god was testing her. Maybe preparing her for what was to come. But she always kept her grandmother's teaching in mind 'to keep the positive with dump the negative'. Bad things happen to teach us lessons. Lessons we may not learn only just by listening.
She always wondered what if her mom never left her. Maybe if god had spared her, she was just a 9 year old girl with those big eyes who had still yet to see the world but before she could he took her from her shattering her world. It hurts to think of the alternative, imagining the life she missed out with her mother. She hates pity in the eyes of the people who knows and the people who think that she is happy person but they don't know the real pain she cries every day. People say to her let go of the past and move on but how do you move on from this?
What they didn't understand was she just wanted love in her life. That love that was written in thousands books but still that words were not enough. Love where you think of other person before themselves. Love is like there could be a crowd of millions of people around us and you wouldn't notice anyone but her.
She wanted to go to that place where sun fanned out in rays up towards heaven and sparkle and shimmer out across the blue water. The smell of sand, salt and fresh air will feel like heaven. She wanted the peace that place would give her. She craved the quietness and the calmness that place could give her. And maybe when her chaotic heart will finally rest, she could see her mother again.