I recently rediscovered the song I used in this. I've heard it many times before and haven't really thought of the lyrics up until now. I wanted to kind of bring it to attention only because I think it has potential for inspiration and a good storyline but since I'm not so good with drama, angst, or conflict of any sort in general, I was hoping there would be someone out there who could take this small attempt at using this song and make it better. Maybe like, a few chapters or so? I wouldn't really call this a challenge but more like curiosity coming into play. Well, I really don't expect reviews but here it is. Enjoy!
Jade West, a major Crabby Cathy, angry, stubborn, evil, overly ganky in general girl. I didn't get along well with her the first time we met but as the days passed I began seeing more. I came to the conclusion that she's also beautiful, smart, talented, caring, loyal, and a good friend when she's not busy proving to everyone that she isn't. Meeting her was maybe the worst moment of my life because on top of embarrassing me in front of our peers, she single handedly crushed my spirit and made me want to run in the complete opposite direction of my dreams. I've always wanted to be a singer, and attending Hollywood Arts would give me that opportunity I would need. The only thing standing in my way was Jade West, the girl I found myself falling utterly in love with. Yeah, I didn't like her at first but now, I didn't know how to get her out of my head. All I wanted was to be with her, touch her, kiss her, anything, to spend time with her despite the hateful words she spat at me. She continued to hate me though, and pushed me away while I continued to try my hardest to befriend her. I wouldn't give up until she saw that someone was willing to be there for her, take care of her. She's jaded, I understood that.
Her family was clearly taking a toll on her every day. I could see that and our friends confirmed it. It was the same reason they stuck to her, being those few who would help her along the way the best they could. All I could do was hope she would see that I, as well as our friends, were there for her. I'll always be there for her through thick and thin, when others had had enough of her temper. She doesn't like me around and openly attacks me verbally but I will never give up. I wouldn't abandon her, and now that she and Beck were over I tried harder to get her to see. Some might call me a coward for not doing more to make her realize how much I cared for her, but this was Jade. I was afraid she would drive her scissors into my heart, rejection to the max, if she knew I began to like her as more than a friend. I had to remain that reliable go-to friend and confidant she desperately needed. I would support her and nothing more. She's slowly but surely opening up to me, obviously needing someone to turn to. That in itself was enough for me, to know she was doing better. So, I doggedly kept up the work. I would rather have her as a friend than as an enemy or even nothing at all. I at least had that.
Tori Vega, a major pain in the ass, bright, sunny, energetic annoyance maybe worse than Cat. She was a nuisance I couldn't seem to get rid of seeing as she was so incessant in her need to please. She waltzed into Hollywood Arts like she owned the place and not even that first day could scare her away. I had thought she left but she came right back stronger and more determined than ever. I had to admit, she was a challenge I hadn't come up against in a long time. I didn't like her constantly optimistic personality though as it didn't mesh well with my own way of handling things, screaming and waving around my scissors. Violent and guaranteed results alongside soothing words and just as guaranteed results. She always seemed to want to help, especially help me, whenever she could. She fought to befriend me and I continued to push her away. That is, up until Beck and I began having trouble in our relationship. We broke up for good this time around and I was strangely ok with it, accepting that after all the years we went out he wasn't the one who could bring me happiness. Sure, I cried, and felt like crap for a while, because Beck was always there and then he wasn't; which was a big change for me.
Of course, Vega was there to offer her full and unbridled help that I never asked for but found I wanted. I reluctantly let her, figuring, what the hell, why not? I should have continued to keep a distance. Being with Vega has opened me up to something new, scary, uncertain, and completely unexpected. I actually started to fall for Tori Vega. Kind, reliable, loyal, beautiful, and funny, although I would never admit it, girl who I had fought to hate all this time. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was always in my thoughts whether I was by her side or sitting at home alone trying in vain to erase her image from my head the moment I closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was spend time with her away from our friends, just me and her. Ask her out, hold her hand, kiss her, but I couldn't. I've dug too deep into my hateful reputation. How would she want me now? She would never accept me. I had to remain quiet for the good of both of us. I may not have liked starting a friendship with her, but now that I have, I don't regret it. Friendship was better than nothing at all, though Vega will never know how I felt. She could never know. I couldn't let her know. Fuck, I wish I could.
I had to tell Tori Vega how much I wanted her. I just had to. It was driving me crazy, her soft and caring words always spoken so gently was too much. I hadn't said a single mean thing to her in weeks and she knew it. Our friends knew it too but they didn't bring anything up. Stuck in this way, it wasn't enough. I needed more of her. She was all I wanted and she had to know. I stopped by her house and nervously knocked on her door. She answered with that damn, attractive smile, her head tilting in that endearing way that made me smile every time. She greeted me with so much energy that it seemed to flow through me, giving me the confidence to carry on with my decision. I greeted her as calmly as I could and stepped in when she moved aside. She sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her but I didn't take a seat. I had to just let out the truth, tell her before I chickened out like the coward I was, so I took a deep breath and told her. Just like that. I mean, I told her I had something to say and then I just said it.
The complete shock on her face made me hope I hadn't made a mistake. When she stayed silent I rushed to apologize and was ready to get the hell out of there when the most breathtaking grin graced her face, her eyes twinkling. Something in her gaze had me stuck in place. She looked at me with such warmth I thought I was going to combust. Her expression alone was enough for me to realize that she felt the same. Tori Vega returned my feelings. I couldn't believe it. No wonder we connected so well the minute I let her in. I had been avoiding my feelings for so long, an idiot thinking she would never see me that way, but here she was doing just that. I couldn't be happier than I was now. The only problem was, I couldn't make a move. I was still uncertain of these new feelings. I didn't know what to do. I was saved from my conflicting thoughts when Tori took the decision out of my hands, helping me out as she has always done. She stood and made her way over to me.
Jade West just told me she likes me, that she's liked me since I took her on an outing to get her mind off Beck. I remembered her many declines before finally giving in. Those few times when it was just us where some of the best memories I had. Jade was herself, her true self. The one without the hard outer shell. As she warmed up to me I returned the favor by letting her adjust to at her own pace. That was when she began letting me in and I simply thought we were finally just getting along, but holy cow, it went so much further than that. She liked me too. This whole time she liked me. Oh my God, I can't breathe. I can't believe it. She actually likes me! I kept repeating the happy news over and over in my head on loop, like a sweet melody playing on repeat. I looked back at her with a big smile. I'm hyperventilating, frozen in place, sitting on my couch and staring at this wonderful girl standing awkwardly in front of me. Her nervous and shy but certain stance was cute, adorable really.
It was always charming to see Jade as she truly was without any mask to hide how she felt. Normally she was so reserved and striking when she decided to speak her mind, but I had seen that soft side of her occasionally. I liked it. It was shining through now, her gorgeous eyes pinning me down with so much hope and warmth. I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms. The thought hit me suddenly that I could. I had always held back all my affection because I was afraid of the rejection. She only ever allowed a few hugs and nudges. She stood before me, sharing the same hesitance, but now things could change. I stood and carefully walked over to her. She tensed subtly but relaxed the very moment I held out my arms in my trademark request. I always let her decide when it came to contact. I would be happy with whatever she chose. Her eyes locked with mine before she advanced, her body pressed to mine in seconds. Her arms wound around my waist firmly. I wrapped mine around her neck and held her close. I felt complete, content. I knew she did too.
Our growing relationship was a shock to everyone and no one at the same time. Our friends of course accepted us with open arms and congratulated us. Nothing really changed there, besides playful teasing when Jade revealed a little of her soft side. They laid off as soon as her wrath returned, making us all laugh. We had been showing positive signs of friendship for some time so they were happy when they found out this was the cause and eventual result. They were awesome friends I was glad I had. It was the rest of our peers that were beginning to be a problem. Most of the student body didn't care but there was always that group of people that I swore lived to put others down. I would have called it Jade level mean except not even Jade judged people that severely. People shunned us, others gave us odd looks, staring like we were something unusual or unnatural. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that we were together or if it was something far more personal. Either way, I wasn't about to let it affect Jade or our relationship. I knew she felt the same way because she often threatened those who gave us a hard time.
I was ecstatic when she got protective of me and I always caught a small smile from her when I stood up for her too. She may seem like a one woman army all the time but I knew she appreciated a little saving once in a while. She may not show it but I knew hurtful comments affected her as much as they did me. I wouldn't let anyone hurt her further, emotionally or physically, so I made it my goal to shield her from anything like that. I knew she felt the same way about me that I did about her, so together, we would overcome the negativity surrounding us. It did get to me once in a while. The days when not even my optimistic stance on life could top the comments were the worse. Seeing me down and feeling bad herself, Jade lashed out, her fury evident to all. Despite this, I would go up against anything if it meant keeping Jade happy. I cared about her too much to let pitiful judgment spewed from the mouths of joyless jerks get in the way of my own happiness as well as the happiness of my girlfriend. We would continue to support each other and our friends would always be there too. We weren't alone. They constantly reminded us of that. We would make it. I was sure of that.
Tori was determined to fight back against those who had a problem with us. She was so sure we could get through this latest bump in the road. I on the other hand still saw a problem. Our friends were ok with us being together, but what about our parents? Tori told her parents and all was well. Even Trina was ok with it except for a few complaints to which I ignored. Trina was Trina but she still supported her sister and that was all that mattered. I was glad Tori was accepted but I wasn't too sure about my own parents. They never approved of anything I did. They were never happy. I was always making choices they would never had made. I had a feeling they wouldn't be too happy when I broke the news to them. I decided to tell them as soon as possible. Tori offered to be there for me when I did because she knew I was hesitant to go through with it. I told her I would be fine, not to worry, because no matter what they said, I was still going to see her. I wasn't going to give her up for anything. This was my one shot at happiness and no one was going to take that from me. The other reason I turned down her offer was the simple fact that I had no idea how they would react towards her should she be there.
I was there for her and when she told her parents. They happily hugged us as congratulation. It was great, caring and understanding parents. My own were different. There was a reason I was the way I was. So, I placed my infamous scowl on my face, steeled my posture, and confronted them. To say it went bad was an understatement. My mother screamed at me, asking if I lost my mind. My career could go down in flames, I would be a walking stigma, and a variation of other criticisms I had no place in my conscience for. My father on the other hand, he was deadly quiet. I knew that was due to his seething anger just under the surface. He wouldn't meet my eyes, and just by that, I knew he would never see eye to eye with me again. The bridge was officially burned between us. I actually think, after all my piercings and tattoos, I had finally crossed the line with him. With my mother yelling at me and my father closed off from me for good, I felt trapped in my home so I left. Tori's affectionate words ran through my head and it was then I knew I had to see her at this very moment. She would make me feel better. I needed her comforting atmosphere, her bright and cheery personality. I craved it. I headed for her house, hoping she would be home.
Jade showed up at my door, tears in her eyes, makeup running. I quickly brought her inside and took her straight to my room. She hated anyone but me seeing her vulnerable and broken. Once I had her seated on my bed and my door was closed she let her emotions flow. I had never seen her so hurt. Whatever happened must have been the last straw. She explained that her parents didn't approve, that she was a disgrace. This went to a tangent on how they never liked anything she did, never approved of whatever she decided to do. They never supported her and she never felt loved. Until now that is. Her hurt and depressing story just about broke my heart. I held her in my arms as we laid out on my bed. I listened silently and wiped her tears until all the pain was cleansed from her. Her body relaxed into mine and her crying stopped. I thought she had fallen asleep but then she began talking again. If she was in pain before, she was quickly recovering now. Her voice took on a strength that I was beginning to miss. Now she spoke of us, our relationship, me, how I made her feel. It made me beyond happy to know I was her rock, her support, and that I made her just as happy. She explained that ever since we got together nothing dragged her down like it used to. I agreed. She wasn't as angry or snappy as she had been.
She was calm and collected, even teasing or joking with our friends. Andre had commented that I was good for her and Beck thanked me for doing what he couldn't. It was great, this feeling of patching up someone as damaged as Jade. At that moment, she sat up to look into my eyes. My chocolate browns met her minty blue-greens and it was then I knew. I love her and she loves me. I reached out and cupped her face in my hands, enjoying the feel of her under my hands, and brought her closer for a kiss. It felt twice as good as that first one we shared the day she confessed to liking me. She didn't waste any time getting as close to me as possible, our bodies pressed against each other, her arms holding me securely. I was lost in blissful joy, here, in Jade's arms. The jump from sad, to determined, to happy was such a whiplash but I didn't mind because Jade was finally at peace again, balanced as she should be. I would always be there for her, just as I promised her a multitude of times before. I whispered a declaration of my love for her as soon as our lips parted. Tears sprung to her eyes again at my words. I was pleased to say, a genuine smile complemented them. Instead of the tears I had seen caused by her sadness and defeat, these were tears of joy and certainty. The intense feelings I felt in this moment could only be described as right. It was the rightest thing in the world.
She's my salvation from all the wrong I've endured as well as dished out in retaliation of that. I'm a different, better, person because of her. More susceptible to vulnerability but still liberating; just as she gained a hard edge that aided in keeping people from taking advantage of her helpful nature. I had left my house in search of her, intent on acquiring that comforting warmth I always associated with her. She listened to my recounted memories, how much they hurt me, scarred me to this day. How my parents continued to put me down which made my defenses and anger flourish. After I finally got that out of my system I felt the need to express just how much I appreciated what she did for me. How she was the only support I needed and wanted wholeheartedly. She was the source of love that I had been lacking in my life. Yes, Cat often cheered me up, a best friend since childhood, and Beck had tried to patch me up but that was temporary, and I didn't click as easily with him like I did with Tori. She felt that and so did I. My previous insecurities and denial kept me from seeing just what she could offer me. Now, as she quietly listened to me talk and tended to the tears pouring down my face with the utmost care, I felt so much better than I had in the past.
It was a rush when our lips finally found each other's, our embrace a strong connection between us. The kiss was tender and slow, heated in a different way that wasn't wild but a promise. I relaxed into her, adoring the way she made me feel so complete. Effortlessly, she put me back together and I healed, a feat no one had been able to do. I love her and I have to let her know. We parted and I inhaled to say the three words waiting to fall off the tip of my tongue, but to my surprise, she was one step ahead of me. She whispered her love for me and it was then that I knew I could die happy. The tears blurred my vision, my emotions going haywire. She loves me. Shit, this was real. She loves me! I repeated her words with as much sincerity as I could, meaning them with everything I had. It brought tears to her eyes too, that smile I loved curling her lips. I slid a hand over her face and then buried it in her long hair before leaning in and melding my lips with hers. Her hands aided in bringing us closer, my free hand caressing her cheek. I tried so hard to make her feel all my love in this kiss, and I knew by the way she responded that she did because I could feel her love for me reciprocated. We remained in each other's embrace well after the kiss, just enjoying the moment as well as each other. I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I found my place, and it was right here with her. I love Victoria Vega, and it felt right.
All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u