"You were amazing." Avery smiled as she entered the dressing room, hoping the excitement and joy in his face would come through. He felt bad that at this point the only word he could use to describe her on stage was amazing- but that was exactly what it was.
"Thanks baby." the star kissed him sweetly and immediately wrapped herself in his arms, "That felt so good."
"I bet." he agreed, plopping on the couch to let her get ready to go back home. Getting that stage rush was indescribable, he'd felt it a few hours ago, albeit on a much smaller stage. He loved being with a musician who understood it too.
But then again he wasn't just with any musician.
They originally met because he was just a roadie who was freshly lost after getting too cocky for fame. Since the very beginning, she was the one who thousands of people came to see, she was the one on billboards in town, she was the one who got thrown through the tabloids.
Simply put, he knew her name way before she knew his.
He wasn't jealous of her, of her fame, of her stardom. In the crazy soul searching he did during the infancy of their friendship, he learned that you form clouded impressions of people when you aren't true to yourself first. She wasn't an entitled, shallow popstar. Gunnar wasn't a low-life homewrecker. Scarlett wasn't a quiet drag. Deacon Claybourne wasn't a drunk has-been.
Each one of them had fought and earned their stripes...the stripes Avery so deeply admired today. Hell, he probably wore the proudest smile in the audience tonight watching his girl kill it. She earned that performance tonight after all she'd been through, as if she needed to add 'plane crash survivor' to her trophy case of hardships.
He zoned out as people flew through her dressing room, giving her this, taking that- he never knew that kind of attention. Right before they would leave, the stagehands/agents/PR folk would do a double take, notice his leather jacket and smile, "Oh, hey Avery!"
"Good to see you." he would always turn and smile back.
And it was. He loved being here, in a front row seat of country music, around the hustle and bustle of making that sweet sound that he was obsessed with since he was five. But as time went on, he watched from that same seat as his friends joined him on their own merits. Deacon debuted his album and went on tour, Will became a cowboy icon and broke social barriers in Nashville, Gunnar started writing hit songs for Luke Wheeler, and Scarlett shared her songs with the world and started opening for superstars. Life went on and The Exes became mainstream stars without him.
At one point, Avery had wanted what they all earned. But the guilt he felt from his first years in Nashville of extremely embarrassing douchebag behavior forced him to turn that over and invest in something other than a solo career. Little did he know it would be someone else.
"Ready to go?" she asked with a smirk and outstretched her hand.
"You bet." he took it like he always did.
Juliette Barnes was a force. That kind of person you can't just 'be with'...your life becomes consumed with deep feelings and emotions and strings and Avery tries to pick apart the clutter on the drive home. Her head is in his chest in the back of the car gabbing about her next moves and he looks down and catches a glimpse of her eyes and falls in love all over again.
There's that glimmer in her eyes that's a mixture of happiness, mischievousness, and general bitchiness that he's so happy to see again. This roller coaster they rode together somehow got back on track and he's not sure why or how or when, but it's the little things like the empty eyes or the random insecure hookups (RIP Jeff Fordham) that have been consuming his life the past few years, unable to get on any solid footing and be himself again. But watching her on stage tonight gave him some feeling that she was alright, everything was finally, finally alright.
When is it gonna be my shot?
And there it is, the thought that he'd been aggressively repressing for years.
Avery gets mad at himself that he's thinking about all of this now, after she just slayed a concert and is ready to recapture the country music world. But unlike her last five or so comebacks (there have been a lot of them, haven't they?), this time is different.
This time they're kind of married and are actual parents and it's all rather domestic and he's not sure what that means for them. Because now that their relationship is as solid as it has ever been, the tremors are coming from his side and that's uncharted territory.
She had been nothing but supportive of his ventures to re-discover his writing/performing side. But performing here and there around Nashville is different than a full-fledged summer tour. What was going to happen if he wasn't going to be the constant? Right next to her on her tour, taking care of Cadence...did he really want to chance this family again to sing a set every night?
"Where are you at?" she asked, snapping in his face twice to get his attention.
That question was right on. He had no clue.
"I got asked to go on Edward Sharpe's tour." he blurted out in the kitchen and wore an emotionless face that hides the complete shock inside that can't believe he actually just said it.
"You what? Tonight?" Juliette's eyes went wide and Avery braced for impact.
There's an impact, alright, but it's his wife colliding in his arms, peppering kisses all over his face.
"That's so amazing!" she exclaimed, "I'm so proud of you!"
"Thanks babe." he squinted, trying to determine if this is real or not, and pulls back.
Juliette noticed her husband's less than thrilled demeanor, "What's wrong?"
And then in the moonlight that is illuminating their kitchen, she saw him search for words and that's all she needed to be able to fill them in for herself, "You did not turn it down, did you? Avery Barkley I swear to go-"
"Wait-you want me to do it?"
Juliette looked at him like he's grown guitars for arms, "Um, are you kidding, of course, it's Edward freaking Sharpe!"
"What about us?"
"What about us?" she suddenly got defensive with crossed arms and Avery wished he wouldn't have phrased it quite that way.
Stepping closer, he explained, "I mean, don't you want me there with you on your tour with the baby and-"
"Babe." she just shook her head with a laugh, "Come here."
Grumbling, he followed her to her iPad where in no time she has a tabloid article from last year that has a candid photo of him, walking down the street armed with sunglasses and a guitar case.
"Missing His Muse? Ex-Mr. Juliette Barnes steps into Nashville studio to get over his superstar wife. Well that's flattering." he deadpanned.
"Don't you see, I didn't marry Mr. Juliette Barnes." she flipped through her phone until she found what she needed, "I married him."
Avery looks at a photo of him performing at the Bluebird days after the tabloid photo was taken. He shook his head in disbelief, "You were there?"
"You divorced me, but you forgot the restraining order." she chuckled.
"Why didn't I see you?" Avery's wondered aloud, trying to piece it together, "The Bluebird is- it's small."
"I wanted it to be about you." she gripped the granite countertops, "Ever since you got involved with me my life has taken over yours and I hate that, you're an amazing performer and you do not have to be second-fiddle to me anymore, that's not happening, you're doing this tour."
"Juliette, that's not what I meant-"
"No, let me finish." she sternly told him, "After all the shit that's happened in my life, you have always been my constant. Even when I put you through hell...multiple times...you're still right there and it kills me that you don't think that you can do something for yourself, that I can't be the constant for you, too?
Her words stung and he realized that this partnership has been taken over my someone...but it wasn't her. He was always the one trying to overdo it, to control how things go, he was why this relationship consumed him. Maybe it rooted back to the early days when he was still trying to figure out why a girl like her would ever settle for a guy like him. Or maybe he was so sure of how much he loved her, how much he loved this, to ever let it go down without a fight.
"Now that I'm not a mess anymore...well not a huge mess, it's your time, baby, you gotta go for it. We'll be fine, you just gotta have faith."
"We will be fine." he nodded in agreement, slowly coming around to the deal.
"Have faith." she reiterated.
His mind crawls away from the depths of the deep toxic thoughts that clouded him the last few days and suddenly it's bright and it's like everything he's ever wanted just appeared behind a wall that was sledgehammered down by the pop diva who he gave his heart to four years ago.
"I'm gonna go on tour with Edward Sharpe!" he laughed.
"Damn right you are." Juliette nodded and wrapped her arm around his side, "You deserve it, you earned it."
Earning it. He smiles in his mind.
"There's been a lot going on in that noggin of yours, huh?" she knocks on his skull and goes into their bedroom.
Following behind, his eyes scan every inch of her, "How'd you know?"
She turned on her heel and bit her lip and Avery's heart took a plunge.
"I know you, babe."
Damn. For all the effort he put into knowing her, he always seemed to forget that she knew him just as well. Avery realized right there and then that there was nothing they couldn't get through and accomplish together. He was wearing a ring that made that promise, after all.
"Maybe you're not as narcissistic as those choir people thought." he grinned, plopping on their bed with a snarky grin on his face.
"Oh shut up." she rolled her eyes with a sneaky smile and slid into the bed to join him. There's a second of calm silence, both halves of the Barnes-Barkley duo stare up at the ceiling, trying to look past the plastered roof to imagine the Nashville stars above.
"I just can't believe you turned it down without talking to me!"
"There she is!" Avery laughed and rolled on top of her, kissing her senselessly because he just couldn't help it. Juliette smiled underneath him and tugged her arms around his torso lovingly and they both wonder how they each got so lucky to earn each other.