It was done. Finn was dead. Clarke walked back into the gates of the camp completely silent, and all eyes were on her. No one could say a word, they understood that she did what needed to be done, but couldn't deal with the outcome of events. All that could be heard were Raven's shrieks of despair. Clarke walked over to her, and knelt down by the side of the crumpled girl. Raven looked into her eyes, the eyes she loved, but couldn't speak, she couldn't stop crying. "Come back to the drop ship with me." Clarke whispered. Raven wanted to with all her might, but she couldn't move. The pain of losing Finn had turned her already injured legs into stone. "C-c-cant." She managed to get out in between sobs. "Don't worry, I've got you." Clarke replied as she helped get Raven to her feet, and held her as they walked through the middle of the stunned crowd. All eyes were on the two girls. "Let them watch," Clarke said, "they think were just friends."
They walked, and walked, and walked. They walked out of the camp, through the woods, and ended in the familiar drop ship, where they had been earlier that day with Finn before he gave himself to the grounders. There were zero grounders to be found that night,they were back in their villages, celebrating the death of a murderer. Weirdly, the drop ship had always been their safe haven, where they went to escape the craziness of the camp. They sat on a tarp for what seemed like forever, not saying a word, Raven crying audibly, Clarke silently.
They cried mostly out of mourning for Finn, but they also cried out of the tremendous guilt they felt. Neither of them knew how it happened, or who was the first one to say something, but for the past few weeks, Clarke and Raven had been dating in their own way. They would sneak away from camp for hours at a time with each other. Talking, kissing, sharing memories, mostly kissing though.
Raven was the first one to speak. "Why did you kiss him? How could you?" The betrayal she felt was clear in her voice. "I don't know," Clarke responded, "I wanted him to leave the world feeling as happy as possible, like what he did meant something." She decided to leave out the part where she lied to Fin and said she loved him, it didn't mean anything and she didn't want Raven to misunderstand her. Raven had enough on her plate, she was mourning the loss of the only person who stuck by her her entire life. Fin had saved her, and she couldn't do the same for him.
Clarke cleared the tears off Raven's cheeks and kissed her quickly on the forehead. "This isn't your fault, there was nothing we could do." Raven looked into Clarke's blue eyes, the eyes she could get lost in. They were filled with tears. "I know," Raven replied, "I just feel so fucking guilty. He was in love with you, Clarke, and I let him feel bad about it while secretly I was sleeping with you anyways!" Raven let out a fresh wave of tears onto Clarke's chest. Clarke held her protectively, afraid to let go. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay." Was all Clarke could manage to say, but she knew she was lying. She just wanted Raven to smile.
Instinctively, she put her finger under Raven's chin and directed it upwards until they were staring at each other again. She leaned in and kissed the other girl, tasting her salty tears in her mouth. Raven lay down and let Clarke position herself on top of her, deepening the kiss. It felt good to have someone hold her so dearly, something that no one besides Fin had ever done.
On the Ark, it was easy to fall in love with Fin. He always listened to what she had to say, and supported her though her mechanics training. But what she felt for Clarke was something different. When Clarke even looked at her, she felt a match light in her stomach. When they kissed, the fire raged on, and she loved it.
Every once in a while, Raven would let out another sob, but Clarke would just wipe away the tears and kiss her harder, knowing it was what she needed. Eventually, both girls were too exhausted to carry on, so they lay on the tarp, with as much of their bodies touching each other as possible. Clarke stroked Raven's hair until the brunette fell asleep, and then let out quiet sobs of her own.