Claire Rivers. The girl with the clever attitude. Not very attractive at first glance, but she is, augh. I can't even describe her. She always has a secret or two and that might be what made me slightly interested in her. Please allow me to introduce myself, I am Kai Montegre. I love the summer, and I consider myself very talented in the use of words my lovely female readers. I also don't mean to be an arrogant/pompous ass, however, I am also very in tune with my instincts. I'll let you find out what that means. Either way, I am outside her farm scratching my head over this mysterious being. I feel as if I should be able to know about her personality, alas, I cannot determine what I need to do to get her. I then sit on the bench right beside the entrance gate. I think to myself, how ironic is it that the alleged "Playboy" who gets anything, any girl, whatever he desires, cannot get one girl. I laugh at how stupid that sounds then I am asked, by a girl with a voice that even angels would lust after,
"What's so funny, Kai?"
I immediately turn a scarlet red as I promptly remember why it's not stupid at all.
She has no problem with secrets
She knows how to keep them
She never felt the need to let them show.
I've had no trouble with speaking or trusting my instincts
And maybe this is one that I should know.
But as I'm waiting there
The devil on my shoulder stares
Laughing that the one Thing I can't get
Is what I need
"Nothing much…" GRAH! Why can't I say anything! We then walk in silence down to the bar. I want to say something! Be cool. Be cool.
"What's wrong Kai? You seem awfully quiet." She whispers into my ear.
BE COOL. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! THIS I grr… eh…
What I didn't realize was as I was having a mental breakdown I had forgotten to walk, and much less breathe. So Claire had to stop and turn around and repeat my name at least three times before she got my attention. She looked up at me with concern visible in her eyes as clear blue as her name. Her pink lips gleamed in the setting sun and her scent enveloped me. She smelled of cherries. Goddess, I never did realize how much I love cherries until now. I want to kiss her and find myself leaning in before I know it. Then someone yells, possibly that irritating termite that otherwise known as the red headed spitfire Ann,
"Hey Claire!" I stiffened as straight as a rod and began to blush as much as previously mentioned cherries. I then repeated in my mind akin to a mantra as my eye began to twitch, Damn it Damn it Damn it Damn it!
She, She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive
And I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
She comes over and begins to talk to Claire. I then think of what I must do, I must say, Claire you are a sea of golden beauty, your pureness surpasses that of rain and your eyes are brighter than the stars hung upon the sky by the Goddess herself. Doug went away and she turned to me with her golden hair and beautiful eyes and I decided to take my chance and opened my mouth to say something, however with her eyes gazing at my very soul it would seem, all words left my mind and my mouth spoke the paltry sentence, "We're here." She said,
"Oh, and so we are." She smiled at me. I mentally beat myself up. I did not slap myself or berate, I certifiably went ape-shit in my mind. She walked past me and I did slap myself in the face and mutter,
"Goddess I'm so stupid." I entered the bar after holding the door open for Claire. After I sat down, pulling her chair out for her first of course, I realized. Trying to talk to Claire with embellished sentences, is akin to bringing a stick. To a gunfight. I looked at her and tried to say something to her, but I could not find a word, not a single word, to say. There are millions of words and yet I can't find any to speak to Claire! Preposterous! I stand up abruptly and declare, "I need to go to the bathroom." I left her quickly hiding the blush on my face as I realize how lame that sounded.
My vocal chords have been fighting
My mouth likes to spite me
It never says the words that come to mind
I brought a stick to a gun fight
And I'm stuck with my tongue tied
I run, But I can't hide what's always there
I splash water from the bathroom sink upon my face. I glare at the image in the mirror looking back at me. How can this person become so stupefied, in front of one woman? She is only one person. Yet she, she is, everything! She is the words I can't find! She is my life! I know what I should do, I can see it, and feel I can grasp it, and yet…my time with Claire never follows the plan. It always deviates. I place my hands over my face and groan. She's killing me. Goddess she is killing me. I do not understand why she makes me feel as though, as though life becomes more vivid, and more imprinted into my memory when she is around. Damn IT!
I can see these things I'd do
They never seem to follow through
I walk outside and look to see if she has left yet. She hasn't and is playing with the rose upon the table. I glance towards my left and see out of the corner of my eye a guitar upon the stage and above it a sign promoting a contest in a feeble effort to garner more customers. "Sing that Chorus! Sing one chorus from a preselected song and if the audience enjoys it, you will win one free dinner with a date!" My eyes widen and my breath starts to get faster and faster and a smile begins to plaster itself to my face. This is it. I'll drown or make her mine. I walk over to Doug and ask if I can participate in the contest. He gives the ok and I walk up to the stage and pick up the guitar as Doug announces that I'm going to sing. I get a little nervous as I realize this is it. This is it. Oh I hope this works. I brush off the nerves as I sit upon the bar stool upon that terrifying stage. I announce,
"This is for a special someone. I hope she realizes this is…well for her…but here goes nothing." I begin to sing hoping this will get it across if words cannot,
"She, She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive
She is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive
And I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time's it's it I'll drown or make her mine.
Woahhh Drown or make her mine. Wooooaaaahhh
And I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time's it's it I'll drown or make her mine."
"Kai! What are you thinking about?" I shook my head to get the last wisps of my reveries out of my head. I looked down at the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife, resting in my arms and I said,
"Nothing much Claire, just how much it would've sucked if we had to pay for that dinner."