*le skype*
—
Megatron: OHAI
Optimus Prime: HAI THERE
Megatron: WAZZUP
Optimus Prime: NUTTIN MUCH. BEING FUCKING AWESOME LIKE USUAL.
Megatron: READING BAD FANFICTION LIKE A BOSS. THERE'S A SHIT TON OF TWILIGHT FANFICS I ADORE.
Optimus Prime: SWEETNESS
Megatron: OH HELL YES
Optimus Prime: OH BTW BITCH, I FUCKED YOUR MOM SO HARD LAST NIGHT. I COULD BARELY GET ALL THE SHRAPNEL CLEANED UP AFTER I PRACTICALLY DESTROYED HER.
Megatron: AWWWWWW HELL NO OPTIMUS. I'MA HAVE TO COME OVER THERE AND SETTLE THIS.
Optimus Prime: WELL U GONNA GET AN ASS WHOPIN WHEN IM THRU WITH FU
Megatron: WE SHALL SEE, MAI BEEYOTCH.
Optimus Prime: HA U GOING DOWN
Megatron: NO WAY MAYUN. U SEE THIS BIG-ASS GUN HERE? YEAH, I THOUGHT SO.
Optimus Prime: HAHAHA NO I HAVE A CRANE PENIS SO I ROCK
Megatron: FUCK YOU OPTIMUS. FUCK YOU.
Optimus Prime: ILL FUCK YOU WITH MY CRANE PENIS
Megatron: OH GOD NO. TAKE SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD.
Optimus Prime: NO. IT SHALL BE U. PREPARE TO BE PENETRATED BITCH
Megatron: FFFFFFF BUT OPTIMUSSSSSSSSSSSss
Optimus Prime: NO BITCH. SHUT UP AND TAKE IT IN THE ASS
Megatron: BUT WE'RE TRANSFORMERS WE DON'T HAVE ASSES
Optimus Prime: ILL MAKE A HOLE THEN
Megatron: WATFUCK. YOUR LOGIC IS MORE TWISTED THAN MINE IN DAT 80'S CARTOON
Optimus Prime: WELL I AM OPTIMUS PRIME. I CHOSE TO LET SHIA LIVE AND FUCK EVERYTHING UP
Megatron: BUT AT LEAST MEGAN FOX WAS THERE. I MEAN...NEVER MIND, DISREGARD THAT.
Optimus Prime: YEAH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY CRANE PENIS THOUGH
Megatron: OPTIMUS...YOU FUCK EVERYONE WITH YOUR CRANE PENIS.
Optimus Prime: I DO, I DO. I MEAN ITS JUST KINDA STICKING OUT, SOMETIMES THESE THINGS JUST HAPPEN
Megatron: ON ACCIDENT YOU SAY? I THINK NOT.
Optimus Prime: :P
Megatron: YOU'RE FAPPING. I CAN SEE YOU, GODDAMMIT YOU PERV.
Optimus Prime: OH DEAR
Megatron: :C I AM DISPLEASED.
Optimus Prime: NO YOU ARENT
Megatron: YES I AM. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRANE PENIS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR AUTOBOTS. I'M GOING HOME, BETCH.
Optimus Prime: OH, CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT NO MORE BITCH?
Megatron: AW HELL NO, THIS WAR AIN'T OVER YET.
Optimus Prime: WELL THEN BRING IT!
Megatron: :V BITCH YOU BETTER BE READY. I'VE STILL GOT THIS BIG ASS GUN RIGHT HERE. I'MA KILL YOU AND FUCKING SHIA
Optimus Prime: WELL KILL SHIA HE'S A PUSS BUT YOU CAN'T KILL ME MY CRANE PENIS IS TOO BIG
Megatron: YEAH I CAN...AND I CAN KILL LIEK EVERY OTHER ONE OF YOU GODDAMNED OBESE ROBOTS TOO
Optimus Prime: OH NO YOU CAN'T I'LL LIKE TURN INTO A BADASS TRUCK AND RAM U
Megatron: AWWWW SHIT WELL I'LL TURN INTO A BADASS...PLANE OR WHATEVER I TURN INTO AND SMASH YO FACE IN.
Optimus Prime: WELL I HAVE A COOLER PAINT JOB SO WHAT NOW NIGGA
Megatron: WUT U JUST CALL ME ASSHO'?
Optimus Prime: U NO
Megatron: HEYO NO OPTIMUS. JUST...HEYO NO. DO I HAVE TO CALL MAH DECEPTICONS TO COME AND WHOOP YO ASS 'CAUSE IT'S A SUNDAY AND THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT.
Optimus Prime: NO WAY MY AUTOBOTS ARE SO TOTALLY BADASS, I FIXED EM ALL UP WITH CRANE PENISES TOO
Megatron: THAT'S JUST SICK
Optimus Prime: YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT
Megatron: NO...NOT REALLY...UM...YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST AWKWARD
Optimus Prime: NAW MAN ITS SMOOTH *turns on romantic music* U KNOW I ALWAYS
THOUGHT THIS WHOLE 'WAR' THING WAS JUST YOU TRYING TO GET IN MY BED MEGATRON. I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDNT FALL FOR YOU, BUT I CANT HELP IT
Megatron: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. IT'S LIKE EVERY BAD FANFICTION EVAR FUCKKKK SAVE ME DECEPTICONS
Optimus Prime: NO THEY ARE BEING ASS RAPED BY MY CRANE PENIS EQUIPED AUTOBOTS. NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW. YOU MUST ABIDE TO MY WISHES AND BECOME MY LOVER
Megatron: BUT WE'RE WORST ENEMIES WE'VE BEEN THAT WAY SINCE 1981
Optimus Prime: ITS A NEW DECADE, ITS TIME FOR CHANGE. ADMIT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
SLIGHTLY ATTRACTED TO ME AND MY CRANE PENIS
Megatron: OKAY...MAYBE. BUT I'M STILL GOING TO KILL YOU ONE DAY, OPTIMUS
Optimus Prime: WELL IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN NEVER TO HAVE LOVED, ER SOMETHIN LIKE THAT. IN OTHERWORDS LETS GET IT ON LIKE DONKEY KONG RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW
Megatron: OKAY WHATEVER. I'M PRETTY MUCH NUMB TO YOUR GIANT PENIS AS IT IS ANYWAY.
Optimus Prime: WELL LETS TRY ANOTHER HOLE THEN
Megatron: LOL OKAY *INSERT KINKY ROBOT SEX HERE*
*Bumblebee is online*
Bumblebee: MEGATRON? WHAT ARE YOU AND OPTIMUS DOING-OHGOD
Optimus Prime: ITS OK YOU CAN JOIN. THE MORE THE MERRIER
*Bumblebee is offline*
Megatron: THAT'S JUST GROSS OPTIMUS
Optimus Prime: HEY SHUT UP AND SUCK MY CRANE PENIS
Megatron: MY MOUTH CAN'T FIT AROUND THAT, SORRY
Optimus Prime: WE'LL MAKE IT FIT
Megatron: OKAY, I AM OFFICIALLY QUITTING BEING A DECEPTICON. FUCK THIS. I'MA GO
HAVE SEX WITH A TREE NOW.
Optimus Prime: FINE THEN! I WONT BE HERE WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU STILL LOVE ME!
—
Many fucks were had that day.