A/n: Okay, I screwed up...badly. This story got removed for involving real people and it serves me right. I apologize to whomever I upset and hope this version of Operation: Bushwhack is more enjoyable. On a lighter note, I'd like to thank everyone who read and responded to the previous version of this (from the people that added me to a favorites list to those who flamed me via e-mail and even the person that reported me). Now that I've lost all reviews for this, they need to be replaced, so you know what to do once you get to the end.
Give credit where it's due: Don't own it, never did, ect.
In the year 2004 in...Tokyo, Monstropolis, New York, just where? Hell, even Capcom doesn't know, so we'll just say Oklahoma. Regardless, there was a typical family doing their best to live out the American dream in the bowels of suburbia. The father made enough money to provide his family with the best this great country had to offer, namely a cookie-cutter house surrounded by a white picket fence. Although he lacked a wife, this scientist still had two children; predictably an older son and younger daughter playfully named Rock and Roll. They even had a dog; after all, every family needs some type of house pet.
Okay, so maybe 'typical' is the wrong word. There was the complete absence of the oldest child, who had long ago wandered off to see the world. The dog functioned better as a car or surfboard than a pet, and there was another strange creature that ran around the house. He was sculpted in the image and likeness of a trashcan, but everyone affectionately referred to him as 'Eddie'. Regardless of how abnormal this family was, they had a happy life. Especially now, their lives were so peaceful, because the bad guy was all the way in Iraq. In fact, their only real problem was that life was perfect to the point of being boring.
Dr. Light knew this. He also knew that when robots got bored, they wanted something to do. He learned the hard way that if they weren't given anything to do, they found something to do and it was usually destructive. To prevent a potential catastrophe from erupting as they had in the past, he kept Roll busy by showing her some of the amazing properties of baking soda and vinegar and sent Rock outside to play with Rush.
Things seemed to be going well. At least Dr. Light thought so until he heard, or rather felt, an explosion large enough to shake the house. Roll waited for the floor to stop rattling and raced from the lab to see just what occurred. Dr. Light followed her and was greeted by a pile of flaming bricks, wood, and what might have been furniture scattered about a formerly perfect lawn. It was at this time he heard his angry neighbor pounding on the door. With a shudder, the good doctor answered and played a nice, friendly game of dumb. "Hello Mr. Ambord! How are you?" he paused, noticing Mr. Ambord tightly gripping a red-faced Rock by the shoulders. "Is there something wrong?"
Mr. Ambord gave our pint-sized hero a shove, "Yes. I should let little boy blue tell you what happened." Rock quickly turned around to glare at Mr. Ambord, trying to decide what to be more upset about, getting dragged to his front door, or being called 'little boy blue'. "Rock?" Dr. Light prompted. The robot looked to his creator, "Well...." He said shyly, "Rush and I were playing fetch and...I accidentally broke Mr. Ambord's window..."
"You little liar!!" Mr. Ambord shouted from the doorway. Rock cringed and continued his story, "with a live grenade...that landed in his fireplace...and it caused the house to explode?" he finished tentatively.
"Oh dear, I'm so sorry. He's never done anything like this before." Dr. Light said. Of course, that was a bloody lie. Rock destroyed things all the time, but always with the doctor's permission and blessing. "I'll definitely have him do something to repair the damage."
"Please do!" Mr. Ambord huffed before storming away. Dr. Light quietly shut the door and turned to his prize creation. Our hero buried his face in his hands. He had never seen his creator so angry, let alone at him! All he did was obliterate one house. He would just offer to rebuild it tomorrow. Heck, he even was going to invite the Ambords to spend the night so they wouldn't have to bother with a hotel. He figured that after saving the world 15 times or so, one mishap was nothing to be that upset about.
"YOU!" Dr. Light shouted, apparently, not seeing things from his son's point of view. Rock cringed, feeling afraid for one of the first times in his short life. What did Dr. Light have in store for him? Reprogramming (a process euphemistically referred to as reeducation)? Maybe shock therapy? "Tomorrow you're going to rebuild the Ambord's house! Now go to your room for the rest of the night!" Rock sighed, 'or that' he thought bitterly. The little robot nodded. "Yes sir." He said meekly and began the painful march upstairs without protest.
Roll waited until her humiliated brother was out of sight, then smiled evilly. It was finally her turn to be the favorite, "So Dr. Light, what would you like for dinner?" she asked pleasantly. "Whatever you feel like cooking Roll. I'll be in the lab banging my head against a wall."
Where did he go wrong? It didn't take long for the doctor to trace this problem back to one insignificant detail. When he created Rock, between the ultra-advanced AI, weapons emulation technology, and titanium armor, installing an 'off' switch just never occurred to him.
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Dr. Wily sighed and watched as the melting ice cream fell from his spoon and back into the container. 'Soy ice cream' he reminded himself. The doctor had discovered years ago that he was lactose-intolerant, and then people had the gall to wonder why he went insane. Anyone lacking the ability to digest wonderful treats such as pizza and ice cream would do the same. He shuddered, no matter how many times he ate that terrible, inferior ice cream; he could never bring himself to think it tasted like anything more than wet cardboard.
It was time to put it back and look for something with flavor that didn't have dairy in it. The doctor ambled to his freezer, opened the door and braced himself..."GO AWAY!" an irate voice screamed near his feet. Dr. Wily looked down, stirring the mock-ice cream with his spoon, "Iceman Iceman Iceman..." he said pitifully, "You can't stay in there forever." Iceman blinked from his position of the bottom shelf in the freezer. He had been there for nearly five days strait, and was enjoying himself immensely. He tried to shut the door, screw that second rule of robotics. Rules were made to be broken anyway. "Just watch me! On second thought, don't! Go away!"
Wily stopped the door with his foot, an action he quickly regretted. He winced, "I don't think you're hearing me, Iceman. Get out."
"No!" Iceman shouted savagely and shut the door tight. Dr. Wily attempted to reopen it with no avail. He didn't so much care about Iceman's emotional health so much as he did about getting indefinitely cut off from half his food supply. The doctor sighed. All of his Robot Masters had been acting so strange as of late. Dustman had predictably taken a liking to cleaning the castle (and had even managed to get the old man smell out of the carpet). Thanks to Plantman, half of the robots developed a taste for gardening. The other half, like Iceman, became overprotective of select household appliances. Dr. Wily just could never figure out why, such was the price of living with robots the way some people do cats.
Truth be told, he didn't particularly care. But he did care about getting his robots back to their normal, vile selves. The most practical way to do such a thing was to have them fight something, besides each other of course. Oh, if only that contemptible Rockman was around for a change! "That can be arranged..." Dr. Wily wasted no time. He went strait to his newly cultivated garden and found Gutsman wearing a pair of bright pink clogs, lovingly plating a new bed of tulips. He resisted an urge to vomit. "Oh Gutsman, I've got a special job for you."
The giant robot was proverbially all ears, "Do you remember where Dr. Light lives?" He nodded. "Good, because I need you to go capture Rockman and bring him here."
Gutsman stood up and gave Wily a rib-crushing hug, "Oh Doc, you've made me so happy! Now I can quit gardening!"
"That's the idea!" Dr. Wily gasped as Gutsman dropped him to the ground and ran off, logically to find a plane. The scientist cackled between breaths while hugging his sides, 'Perfect, just perfect.'