You Are Still You
Disclaimer: I do not own Harukanaru Toki no Naka de, or its characters. They are the property of Mizuno Tooko-san. If I did own the series, I'd have Yasuaki and Eisen fall in love with each other.
This fic is based on episode 18 of the anime. These scenes kept coming to mind, and I wondered to myself what it would've been like if they did play out, so I decided to write them out. This fic can be considered shounen-ai if the reader desires, but it's more along the lines of friendship (which is a shock considering I pride myself on writing numerous Yasuaki x Eisen fics). Enjoy!
Eisen looked down at himself and let out a sad sigh. He supposed he pretty much did walk right into this, but still, why did he have to be the scapegoat for Akanehime? He heard footsteps approaching. "Please don't come here, I don't want you to see me like this," he called to whoever it was.
The footsteps came closer and soon the owner was in view. "Miko sent me to see if you were alright," Yasuaki explained.
"Oh..."
"You are unharmed?"
"I'm alright...just embarrassed."
"Why?"
Eisen turned to face his partner, his back had been to him the whole time. "Because I'm dressed like this."
"I don't understand."
Eisen let out another sigh. "It's really not very flattering for a man to have to dress as a woman."
"Why?"
It was a good thing Eisen was a patient person, especially when it came to his partner. "Would you have liked to have had to dress this way?"
"It wouldn't bother me. It is Miko's desire that we help the fourth chamberlain and the one called Akanehime. As Hachiyo, we are to obey Miko's desires, even if it should be about something like this."
"I meant if Miko hadn't insisted on it."
"It wouldn't bother me. I don't understand why it bothers you."
"Well...this challenges my masculinity."
"Masculinity?"
"Yes."
"What exactly is that?"
"What makes me a man. What makes you a man. Both of us have a level of masculinity...though not as much as the others..."
"So, why does it bother you to have to dress like this?"
"Please just look at me. You might understand."
Yasuaki did look. He gazed up and down, at Eisen's features. He finally did understand. But, he still couldn't see why it should bother Eisen so much. "I understand."
"You do?"
"Yes. I just can't see why it bothers you. You're still Eisen."
The monk's eyes widened at what his partner said.
"It doesn't matter if you dress the way you usually do, or if you should wear the clothes of a woman. You are still Eisen. I don't see why you should be bothered by this, you're still the same person."
"Yasuaki-dono..."
"HEY!!! TIME TO GO!!!" Tenma's voice could be heard shouting.
Eisen took a deep breath. "It looks like it's time for everyone else to see me this way."
"Mondai nai. We all know you are still Eisen."
The two Hachiyo left the room and joined their companions, ready to put the plan into action.
Eisen normally didn't condone violence, but he found himself feeling more than a little grateful to Tenma for stopping the old priest from trying to court him. Truthfully, having that happen had never crossed his mind. He started to feel upset about it again.
"You alright, Eisen?" Tenma queried as he rubbed his hand. He didn't realise the priest had such a hard head for such an old guy.
The monk silently nodded.
"You know, you seemed a bit more at peace earlier when you and Yasuaki joined us. What did he say to you?"
"That I am still myself, even if I have to dress as a false princess."
"That guy really amazes me sometimes. He's naive about 90% of the time, and yet there are times he has better foresight than anyone around."
"He did ask me why it bothered me that I had to dress this way, and it was only after a while he made his remark."
"When did he say it?"
"I requested that he have a good look at me, to see why it was I felt so bothered. He claimed he understood why I felt bothered, he just couldn't see why because I'm still the same person in the end."
"I wonder what goes through his head at times..."
"But, the priest..." Eisen looked down at the old man lying unconscious on the floor. Normally, his nature was to help someone who was hurting, but he was feeling very wary right now. "He didn't see me as myself, he saw me as a young woman. To make it even worse was that despite his plans of courting and marrying Akanehime, when he realised she was no longer around, he focused on me."
Tenma glanced down at the old priest. "The guy's a jerk, what are you gonna do about him?"
"What am I going to do?"
"Oh, that was rhetorical. A hopeless case like him wouldn't be able to have any help, no matter what."
Tenma explained the situation to Yasuaki. To his surprise, Yasuaki didn't respond with a simple mondai nai like always. Instead, the onmyouji asked exactly what had transpired. He wasn't sure, but he thought he could see that Yasuaki was very angry about what had happened. Despite appearing detached to everyone and everything, the truth was Yasuaki cared very much for his partner and refused to let anyone upset the monk. It was no wonder Yasuaki saved Eisen's life when they had to deal with the cursed koto, despite how much Yasuaki kept insisting that the Hachiyo would have to sacrifice his life to save their miko, for without a miko, the Hachiyo have no purpose.
"Where is Eisen now?"
"He's getting out of his costume."
"Costume?"
"The dress."
"Ah."
"You should go talk to Eisen about what happened. You helped him feel a bit better about having to do this in the first place, you might be able to help him again."
"Very well."
"He'll be in the same room as before."
Eisen stood there in his under robe. He was finally out of that dress. He wanted more than nothing to get back into his own clothing, to be himself again. He heard footsteps again.
"Tenma told me what happened," Yasuaki commented as he entered the room.
Eisen sighed and nodded. "I see."
"I am not pleased that priest did that to you."
"I would rather not talk about it. It was bad enough being mistaken for a woman, but what troubled me the most was the priest's personality."
"His personality."
"The best way to explain it...um, I guess the best way to explain it would be..."
"What was his personality?"
"Tenma-dono called him something like a jerk or something like that. I do not understand that term. But, the priest decided he'd like to court me instead of Akanehime."
"What did he say?"
"One of his guards mentioned that I was not Akanehime, then the priest remarked this girl is lovely, she'll do before asking me to marry him and inviting me to his large manor out of the city. That was when Tenma-dono hit him."
"He said this girl is lovely, she'll do?"
"Yes. You told me I was still the same person, and yet the priest saw nothing but a young lady he'd like to court. To him, I wasn't the person you know me as."
"I know you as Eisen."
"I know."
"Does that priest know you?"
"No, he just assumed I was a woman." Eisen noted during this conversation, his partner hadn't used a careless mondai nai once. This must trouble him as well...
Yasuaki closed his eyes. "He does not know who you really are. He saw the clothes, the assumption was made." He opened his eyes. "When I saw you in the dress, I didn't see the clothes and make an assumption. I saw the person in the clothes and knew right away who you were. It had nothing to do with knowing previously nor our Hachiyo bond."
Eisen smiled gently. "What do you see now?"
"I see you as Eisen."
Eisen put the dress back on again, being careful with it. "Now?"
"You are still Eisen."
He removed it again and put on his own robes. "And now?"
"You are still Eisen." Yasuaki stepped closer to the young man and gazed into his eyes. "Your eyes, your face, your hair, your scent, your aura...they are all the same, no matter what you wear. The priest didn't know who you really were, so he foolishly made that assumption. But to me, and to the others, you are still Eisen."
The monk nodded. He wondered if Yasuaki knew he was repeating himself, but he chose not to say anything concerning it. He knew Yasuaki wasn't really the best with this sort of thing, but he was grateful his partner was making an effort to try to console his distressed partner. That alone made him feel a bit better about all that had happened that day.
Everyone was gathered the next day, celebrating their success with the plan. Yasuaki had just returned from the manor the fourth chamberlain and his family dwelled in and reported that his fortune-telling was complete and the fourth chamberlain's parents accepted it. He stood against one of the pillars, just listening to all that was going on, not really one to socialise over such trivial matters. He heard Fujihime and Tomomasa make a couple of remarks concerning Eisen, but he thought nothing of it. He knew his partner wasn't thrilled about the comments, but he wasn't as distressed as he was the day before when it came time to discuss the plan. He then heard Kotengu flying towards him, demanding that he be returned to his original state. Yasuaki didn't think much about that either, he just did what he normally did. Calmly, he moved his head to the right before Kotengu could reach him. He heard the tiny demon hit the pillar and made his usual mondai nai statement. He didn't pay much attention to what else was being said, but he was glad he could also hear his partner laugh with the rest of their companions. It was moments like those that Yasuaki found himself treasuring most...every smile, every laugh, every time Eisen expressed joy. He was glad he had a part in helping his partner feel such joy after what he'd faced the day before.