Be Careful What You Wish For

by Satan's Sweetheart

Bella isn't the broken girl she used to be. She's Haley Williams. She's over "him". She moved on, but every night she prays to God that she forgets "he" ever existed, or "he" comes back for her. One wish is granted... but which one? No wolves. A/U

Singing was my life. I did the thing that I almost loved. Yeah, almost. I couldn't love anything whole-heartedly since he left. I almost hated him even. Again with the "almost" I know. I digress. My life was no longer about him; it was about my music. The only thing that keeps me sane. The only thing that will ever keep me from flinging myself off a bridge.

After he left and my six month zombie period ended, I learned to play the guitar. I'm not going to bore you with a stupid story like, "I didn't choose it, it chose me," or "I knew as soon as I picked up that guitar, it just felt right," because that's not how it happened.

I woke up one morning and decided that I wasn't going to mourn over his absence anymore; I was just going to live my life. Like a fucking human being, not a damn suicidal emo kid crying in the corner. Yeah, I tried that whole cutting thing (but that's a different story). So I went down to First Beach and met a gay guy named Jacob playing the guitar, the rest as they say, is history.

So then I was there. I was the lead singer of Paramore. I had the strongest voice in the business. I was not the broken girl named Isabella Swan anymore, I was Haley Williams. The kick ass girl that could do anything, the fiery haired bombshell who had a personality to match.

That's what I told myself when I was fighting back tears at night hugging a bottle of tequila. That's what I told myself when I was trying to put down the razor blade. The truth was I hadn't changed at all. The truth was as painful to me as it is to everybody else. The truth is we all lie to ourselves to keep our confidence. After all we are only human.

There's another lie. I knew we weren't all human. I've met ten vampires, and almost been killed by two. That's another truth I tried to hide from myself. Every night I begged to God:

"Dear God,

Please make me forget them, forever. If not that, then please make him come back for me."

But I forgot that old adage; "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it…"

Because on one faithful night, I wished upon a shooting star, and one of those wishes was granted. This is that story.