Man vs Cat

Written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments) Arithmancy Assignment 9.

Task: For this assignment, I want you to write me a Cat!AU. You can use any characters you want, any situation you want, any period you want. It's just that they all have to be cats (and I guess doing cat things).

James Potter hesitated by the front door of his girlfriend's house, willing himself to knock. He'd been dating Lily Evans for a few months now, and overall he was perfectly happy with the way things were going; the only problem was her beloved cat, Petunia. She was the reason he stood outside like a wimp, and even imagining the taunting he'd receive from his friends wasn't enough to spur him into action.

He muttered to himself. "Come on, Potter, she's a small, sandy-coloured cat. Are you a man, or are you a mouse?"

Sobered and spurred on by his words, James knocked. It didn't take long for Lily to open the door and invite him in. She looked more beautiful every time he saw her, but he was unsure about voicing that out loud. Was it too cheesy and unoriginal, even if he genuinely meant it? 'Oh, to hell with it!'

"Lily, I swear you look more beautiful every time I see you. How do you do it?"

He was relieved when her eyes lit up, and she gave him her most dazzling smile; the smile that could put the gorgeous Lucia Zabini to shame. "If anyone else said that to me, I'd be repulsed, but somehow coming from you, it's sweet and charming. How do you do it?"

Delighted at her words, James grinned at her and leant in to plant a kiss on her luscious, red lips. At that very moment, he heard a familiar miaow as the kitchen door was pushed open and Petunia appeared. To James's displeasure, Lily moved away from him to stroke her pet.

"I think Petunia has come to say hello to you. I told you she'd warm up to you soon enough, didn't I?"

Somehow he highly doubted that was the case, but he walked over to them anyway. Ignoring the glare he received from the harmless looking cat, James tentatively reached out to pet the cat from hell – and instantly regretted it. Petunia hissed loudly and lunged at his hand, but luckily for James, he had fast reflexes and jumped back quickly. His hazel eyes remained fixed on the devil cat as he took a deep breath to calm himself. Merlin, he hated that cat more than any other creature he'd ever laid eyes on. The two kept their gaze on each other, and James didn't know who disliked the other more.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over her; she's usually very tame and quiet. Do you want me to keep her out of the way while you're here?" Lily asked him anxiously. "At least until she's got used to you."

Doubt crept in as he wondered if Petunia would ever accept him, and James longed to answer yes to her question, but he didn't want to be seen as the bad guy. Eventually, he shook his head.

"It's okay; she's just a little playful, I'm sure."

Lily seemed surprised at his words, but she nodded at his words and led him into the living room. Petunia followed closely behind and jumped onto her owner's lap as soon as Lily sat down, purring contentedly while her eyes were fixed on James. As Lily started to talk about the day she'd had, he found himself zoning out and watching the small, thin animal that caused him so much trouble.

She was given plenty of food, but she never seemed to put on any weight; the food was a good quality brand because Petunia would turn her nose up at anything that wasn't the best. From what James had seen of her when he came round, she loved to sit on the window ledge and watch people walk by – like a housewife with a penchant for gossip. Very much a house cat, Petunia would hiss and cling on for dear life if anyone tried to get her outside, and Lily would often end up with scratched arms from the battle. Her cat bed remained largely ignored in favour of her owner's bed, although Lily didn't seem to mind. How his girlfriend put up with her, James didn't know, but then he'd always been more of a dog person. Perhaps the fur ball could sense that.

James snapped himself out of his thoughts and tried to focus on what Lily was saying, but a plan was being formed inside his head; a plan to get Petunia to like him. Perhaps he could bring around some of her favourite treats and a toy. After all, he loved Lily Evans with all his heart, and he'd be damned if he was going to let her cat get in the way of that. 'I'm going to be on my best behaviour from now on, and I'll get you on my side, one way or another.' As if she could read his mind, Petunia lifted her head up and blinked at him.

Love was making him crazy.