I have been wanting to write this story for so damn long and I finally just caved and went for it!
It's sort of in the same vein as Intimidated, but I hope you guys can just see it as it's own thing.
And of course it's inspired by one of the best episodes, Sarcastaball! Enjoy!
It's been a month since Cartman and Butters became a Facebook official couple, and a month since Stan's faith in God, Kyle's belief in Satan, and Kenny's belief in mind control have been restored.
"Well, don't they say couples tend to take on each other's mannerisms after a while?" Wendy says, thoughtful as she worries a beautiful, silk, pink scarf in her hands that Cartman had given her for no reason other than he thought she would like it. She's sitting in Stan's living room with the other boys, wondering the same thing they were-what was Cartman's angle?
"Yeah, 'cause that's totally what's happening," Kenny says, taking a sip from his beer he swiped from Stan's dad, leaning down deeper into the recliner he's sitting in.
"Maybe this is a Cartman from a different dimension? I mean, it's happened once before," Stan says, shrugging when they all stare at him.
"No, this is definitely our Cartman. If there were two of them we would bump into the evil one a few times by now," Kyle says, dismissing Stan. His fingers go to his new, solid gold Star of David necklace Cartman gave him just yesterday.
"I can't believe you're wearing that, Dude," Kenny says, smirking as he eyes Kyle.
"Back off, Kenny, you've been letting him babysit Karen," Stan says.
"Do you think Butters is drugging him? Oh, but he seems so lucid," Wendy says.
"What part of any of this seems like lucid Cartman do you?" Stan asks, thinking about Cartman offering to jump start his car when it stalled in the school parking lot last week.
"This is pretty fucked up, but what if, like, we monitored his room?"Kyle says, excited. "Maybe he's planning something, he'll talk to Butters about it, and we'll be able to stop it in it's tracks."
The other three stare at Kyle, then at each other, weighing the pros and cons of this plan in their heads.
"Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. I would love to know what he's up to before he can snap his trap on us," Kenny says.
Being in agreement, the four make a plan to hide a camera within Cartman's book shelf. Stan and Kyle will sneak in while Kenny and Wendy take them out to dinner as a double date, which Cartman insists on paying for since he just enjoys their company so much.
"And it's all hidden and everything?" Kenny asks, his hand on the back of Kyle's chair as he opens the livestream on his computer that's linked directly to the camera he left. It's the next day after school when they all congregate in his room.
"Yeah, dude, and look, we're able to get a sweeping view of his room. And we have audio and everything. Whatever Cartman's up to, we'll catch," Kyle says.
"So how was dinner?" Stan asks Wendy.
She shrugs. "He paid."
"Of course he did."
"I feel a little bad, at least for Butters."
"For Butters? Are you kidding me? He's over the fucking moon right now," Kenny tells Wendy, turning back to look at her.
"Exactly. Maybe he doesn't even know what's up, or maybe he's the main victim? Cartman laughed at every one of his dumb jokes, jokes he would have scoffed at a month ago. And he even fed Butters from his own dessert! He'll be so heartbroken if we find out this is all some trick, I don't even want to think about it."
"We're on!" Kyle shouts, giddy in his chair as Cartman and Butters come into view.
The all huddle over him, eyes glued on the screen, ready to catch any strange movement from Cartman.
"Well we can always go to Denver and search for it there since they don't have the new game extension in the Sanrio store here," Cartman says through the screen, dropping his backpack next to his desk.
Butters sits on the bed and before he can drop his own bag Cartman quickly grabs it from him and delicately places it next to his own.
"Thank you," Butters says. "And I don't know. That's really sweet, but that seems like a lot of trouble just for a Hello Kitty game."
"It's no trouble!" Cartman says eagerly. "And you really want it, you've been waiting months for its release. And we can use it as a fun getaway!"
"Cartman detests driving all the way to Denver," Kenny says.
"Not as much as he loathes Hello Kitty," Stan says.
Cartman sits down next to Butters and takes his face into his hands. "I just want you to be happy," he says, his voice sing-songy as he rubs his nose against Butters'. "Even if you think it's a silly game, I know how much it helps you unwind. So we're going this weekend, end of discussion."
Butters giggles, relishing in Cartman's newfound sweetness.
"Well, if you insist," he says, shrugging, as though he's doing Cartman a favor.
"I do," Cartman says, grinning. He pulls Butters onto his lap, runs his hands through Butters' hair a few times, and leans forward to kiss him deeply.
"Okay, this is when the stream ends," Wendy says, standing up straight.
"Oh, c'mon, we haven't seen anything yet," Kenny tells her.
Cartman and Butters are pawing at each other, their hands reaching under each others' shirts, their movements growing desperate. Cartman pulls away first, Butters whimpers and reaches for him, but Cartman gently pushes him back on the bed and he gets off to kneel on the floor. He reaches for Butters' pants and starts unzipping him.
"Woah, yeah, this is when the stream ends," Kyle says, his hand on his mouse, but his forearm is gripped tightly by Kenny.
"Don't you dare, Kyle," Kenny says.
Kyle rolls his eyes and gets off his chair, and Kenny quickly takes his seat. Despite themselves, Kyle and Wendy continue watching along with Stan and Kenny, their curiosity overtaking them.
"God damn," Stan says once Cartman pulls Butters' cock out of his pants.
"Way to go, Butters," Kenny says, somewhat prideful.
Wendy averts her gaze with her hand, embarrassed by Butters' large endowment. Kyle is blushing furiously, but he's still watching.
"You're so full and hard," Cartman says, his voice trembling like this breaks his heart. He runs his fingers up and down Butters' shaft as he licks his lips, his eyes trained on Butters' erection.
"I didn't shower last night, like you asked," Butters says, reaching out to pet Cartman's hair.
There's a chorus of 'ew's in Kyle's room, but Kenny tips his head back, caught up in uproarious laughter as he claps his hands.
"Thank you, Butters. It's so much more delicious when you let it stew."
"I'm going to piss myself, holy shit!" Kenny says, still laughing.
Cartman grabs onto Butters' shaft with both hands, his head leaning forward as he gently pushes his tongue underneath the foreskin.
"This is so uncool," Kyle says, huffing and crossing his arms. He turns around so his back is to the computer.
"Kenny, we really should stop," Wendy says, becoming slightly mesmerized herself by what's on the screen.
"Oh, c'mon, let me just see his technique," Kenny says, turning to his friends, a huge grin on his face.
"Butters, you taste so good," Cartman says, his tongue running up and down his shaft like it's a lollipop. He stops and presses his nose to it. "And you smell so strong, I'm getting lightheaded."
Butters is blushing deeply, like he can't believe what Cartman is saying either.
"Th-thanks, Eric. Though I wish you had let me shower first."
Cartman looks up at Butters, and still watching him he goes down to give his balls some attention.
"You just have no idea how good this tastes," Cartman says, between sucks and nibbles. Butters is starting to lose his composure, his grip on Cartman's hair tightening. "After showering you taste and smell like your body wash, but this-" He takes an entire ball into his mouth, then the other. He moans and hums like he's eating an exceptionally delicious dinner. "-This is all you," he says, going back to the shaft.
"Not gonna lie, it's oddly satisfying seeing Cartman suck someone's balls," Kyle says, his eyes on the screen. The others turn to him and Kenny snickers.
Cartman starts deepthroating Butters, who throws his head back, his eye squeezed shut as he bites his lip.
"God, Eric!" Butters gasps. "Your mouth is amazing. It has to be my favorite hole."
"Vulgar," Wendy says, scrunching her nose.
Cartman looks up at him again, a huge smile on his face.
"I'm glad! I love being mouth fucked by you the best!"
"I'm willing to reopen the 'Butters is drugging Cartman' theory," Stan says suddenly.
"Wendy?" Kenny turns to her, his arm reached out towards her.
Hesitantly, Wendy takes his hand and goes to him, and she sees his erection pushing at his pants.
"Oh, Jesus, Kenny!" She says, slightly disgusted, but wet herself.
Kenny unzips himself, ignoring the fact he's in Kyle's room, sitting in Kyle's chair. Wendy steps in front of him, lowering her tights and panties as she makes her way to sit on his lap.
"What are you two doing?" Kyle screeches, marching towards them and ready to push them off his seat.
Wendy's skirt is covering what they're doing, but the moans escaping both her and Kenny's lips make it crystal clear.
"Relax, go fuck Stan on your bed," Kenny says, shooing him away with his right hand, his left on Wendy's thigh.
"There's absolutely no way Stan and I-" Kyle is caught off by Stan's hands pushing into his pants. Kenny watches and grins at them before turning back to Wendy and the screen.
"Stan?" Kyle says, though it comes out more like a moan. His hands are on Stan's wrists, theoretically to push his hand out, but in practice he holds it in place.
"Sorry, Kyle," Stan says. "It's just, I don't know…" He bends Kyle slightly forward so his ass is sticking out and he can rub his own erection against him. His hand is still on Kyle's cock.
Kenny leans forward to reach the volume button for Kyle's computer and turns it up, the sounds of Cartman sucking off Butters filling the room as the four muffle their own moans.
"Ah… Eric…" Butters squeaks. "I'm so close…"
Wendy holds on tight to the edge of Kyle's desk, her hips grinding down hard on Kenny. Kyle starts rubbing himself against Stan, helping him get even better friction. They're all close too, and their eyes are back on the screen, waiting to see the end.
Butters' back arches, his hand hovering over his mouth and he loudly moans, coming inside Cartman's mouth. His arms are trembling as they keep him up, his grip on Cartman's mattress tight.
That brings the other four to the edge, who all come as well. They all pant and blink sweat out of their eyes, watching the screen intently.
"He swallowed it all," Kenny says, his lips on Wendy's neck, who's fallen back completely on top of him.
"What?" Stan asks, but Kenny just points to the screen.
Cartman still has both hands on Butters' now softened cock. His eyes are closed as he continues sucking and licking him, making sure every drop of come lands in his mouth. Once he's satisfied, he lets go of Butters and falls back on his knees, his breath slow and even.
Butters reaches over and pets him. "You came," he says, noticing the wet spot on Cartman's pants.
"You know I get off on it," Cartman says, a bit sheepishly, wiping his mouth.
Butters falls onto the floor and into Cartman's arms, where the two start making out again. In the midst of it, the stream cuts out, and the screen is just Kyle's desktop now.
"What gives?" Kenny says, turning to Kyle, who's standing by his computer, the USB he uses that catches his camera's feed in his hand. Stan is on his bed lying down.
"We are never speaking of this again, do you understand me?" Kyle says.
The three are watching him, all exhausted as well. They slowly nod and agree, this never happened.
"And I think we should just take Cartman's personality change at face value and be happy for him. Now Wendy and Kenny, please get the fuck out of me room."
Kyle goes to his bed and lies down next to Stan as the other two get dressed. They mumble goodbye but before leaving Kenny swipes the USB Kyle left on his desk.
…
Two Weeks Later
Stan and Kyle are at the latter's locker before school when Wendy and Kenny walk to them, and Kenny hands Kyle his USB.
"Figures," Kyle says, taking it from it. "Did you at least see anything relevant?"
"All he does is come home, do homework, change clothes, and suck Butters off. That's literally all he does. Everyday. Every. Single. Day."
"He does his homework everyday? Well that's good," Stan says sarcastically and Kenny rolls his eyes at him.
Kyle quirks his head, his finger going up in there air, a thought occurring to him.
"What tone of voice did Stan just use?" Kyle says, looking up at the three.
"A sarcastic one?" Wendy says, creasing her brows.
"Sarcastaball," Kyle says, smiling, his eyes wide and bright.
Kenny scoffs. "What about it?"
"Remember Butters' creamy goo?" Kyle says.
Both Kenny and Stan scrunch their noses and nod in disgust. They remember.
Wendy's eyes go wide, catching on. "Oh my God."
"Indulge me, how many times does Cartman blow Butters?" Kyle asks.
Kenny still doesn't get it. He shakes his head and shrugs. "I don't know. I guess it's like… three times a day? Almost ten times on the weekends."
"That's a really high, really concentrated amount of Butters' creamy goo going into his system every day for the past month and a half. It must have rewired his brain or something."
"You are what you eat," Wendy says, smiling and nodding.
Stan and Kenny are still confused. But then they remembered why they drank Butters' goo to begin with, to make them warm and compassionate so they could be better Sarcastaball players. They both shudder.
"When we were drinking his 'goo,' I think we all felt like better people," Kyle says, "but we just drank a bit at a time, and soon that whole situation was over and we went back to who we were. But Cartman has been stuffing himself with the stuff. To the point where it really has changed him. Guys, this isn't a trap, this is real."
Before the guys can react, Cartman comes up to them, a big tupperware container in his hands. Butters is besides him chewing happily on a muffin.
"Sup, guys!" He cheerily greets his friends, who all smile at him with amusement at their new epiphany. "So last night, I don't know, I guess I just got in the baking mood and baked two dozen muffins for everyone today. So here, try one!" He opens the lid and offers them the treats.
"They're really good!" Butters says, his mouth full. Cartman turns to him and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.
Before Stan can grab one, Kyle holds his hand up to stop him.
"Uh, these do look delicious, Cartman. But, uh, did you wash your hands before making these?" Kyle asks.
Cartman smiles and rolls his eyes jokingly. "Well duh, of course Kyle. What would be the point of baking for my friends if I'm not going to be hygienic about it?"
That was good enough for them, and they all go for a muffin.
"Wow, these are incredible," Wendy says, pulling back the paper wrapping and taking a big bite.
"It's because of Cartman's special ingredient!" Butters says, excited and jumping in place. They all stop chewing, staring at them, ready to run to the bathroom and throw up and have their stomachs pumped. "Love!" Butters finishes. Cartman turns to him and rubs his nose against his, the both giggling. The four visibly relax and nod, as though that should be the obvious special ingredient.
"Anyways, I have to keep giving these out to our friends, I'll see you guys later! Oh, hey Clyde, do you want a muffin I baked?" Cartman and Butters walk away from the four to accost Clyde with baked goods.
"I think I liked him better before, this is too much," Kenny says, finishing his muffin.
"It's definitely a change, but I welcome it!" Kyle says.
They stare after the couple, Cartman playfully bumping Butters before kissing him on top of his head.