It doesn't happen often. Once every few months for the most part. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Usually after they've been drinking. Only when they are both lonelier than anyone could possibly imagine.
In a contrast to the assertive, tenacious way she handles her professional life, she's remarkably passive about this, always letting him take the lead when things get physical. If she refuses to instigate this and merely lets it happen, it doesn't seem like her fault anymore. She won't have to hate herself anymore than she already does for betraying her marriage vows and overstepping professional boundaries.
Not that she blames him either; she never could.
The sex is never bad; it ranges from adequate to bloody fantastic depending on the circumstances.
But that's all it ever is and all it ever can be—sex. Anything more and the tentative balance they've struck between personal and professional relationships would implode. Besides which, both of their hearts lie elsewhere; that's how they ended up like this in the first place.
But there are moments when this feels…real.
Sometimes he'll make her laugh until she climaxes. Sometimes, he'll wake up and find she's stolen all the covers. Sometimes, he'll kiss her slowly and gently, without any hint of lust. Sometimes she'll fall asleep with her hand sprayed across his chest.
But reality always sets back in. Even if all the professional complications weren't an issue, there's still all the personal baggage between them. They know full-well that they aren't each other's first-choice; sometimes they worry that they're each other's last-resort.
Nearly every time, they swear it won't happen again.
But it's far easier to wallow in self-pity and to fall into each other's beds than it is to take action. They are still too weak to fight for the ones they really love, too lazy and afraid to look for someone new.
They know they both deserve better. Someone to make love to rather than merely someone to fuck in desperation. Someone who can give them more than momentary physical gratification and emotional solace.
All they have now is tiny scattered moments of shared desolation that damages them, even as it heals. Sometimes, they can fool themselves into believing that it's almost enough.