Disclaimer: I own goose eggs! That is to say, nothing from FMA.
Among the crowded streets of central, the ponytailed man trudged pass the merry holiday shoppers. His hands in his pockets, they did not know his shame. Had he been the provider Tricia expected perhaps he would not be in this situation of embarrassment.
Her expressive eyes had been set in two narrow slits of undiluted anger as she shoved the monthly bills under his nose that morning. Alphonse was crying in his crib and Ed was throwing Hoenheim's screwdriver against the wall with gleeful giggles. Yet with chaos surrounding her, his wife stared him down, fit to murder. With three small words, Tricia had set upon him the task: "Get. A. Job." He had mouths to feed and since his alchemy was not paying the bills, he was reduced to this for he did not possess many marketable skills beyond alchemy.
Arriving at his work place, Mr. Elric heaved a sigh and popped a lozenge in his mouth. He would need his voice for all its worth. Firmly, he grasped the tall white pillar with hands glowing a faint red. When he had shimmied to the top of the pillar, he leaned his body out over the crowd while his arms and legs looped around the column in front of "Crazy Potatoeater's Hat Emporium".
Taking a deep breath, the philosopher's stone-who was known to emit pretty lights-opened his mouth to earn his bread. "BOGO HATS! GET YOUR BOGO HATS HERE! BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!"
Dedication: I owe this fic partially to my roomie, GemEncrustedEarth, who so kindly pointed out that Hoenheim emits pretty lights. And also I shoot a dedication to my high school pal Nickle who helped me come up with Hoho's jobs.