I actually started posting this on another group two years ago but never got around to finishing it. I'm watching my way through the seven seasons again and thought I might complete this, especially as it's been three years and I still miss the show. Believe it or not I do like Danny but he's damn inconvenient for me.

For Mel, because distance really isn't an obstacle to friendship

Title: Sometimes I Love You

Pairing: Toby/CJ, a little Josh/Donna thrown in.

Rating: As always we start off PG and who knows what we'll end up with

Spoilers: The whole Kit and caboodle

Summary: Who would have imagined Toby going scuba diving would have caused so much trouble.

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, I'm just a single mom (and a broke one at that) enjoying a little

I Love You Chapter One

There was something surreal about watching the next President of the United States be sworn in while it was scorching hot outside and you were eating pancakes in your pyjamas. Or probably not if you were accustomed to it but CJ was use to being at the heart of things. It was the first time in twelve years she hadn't been in DC, surrounded by the furore that accompanied such an event. It brought back all sorts of memories and emotions she kept hidden every day.

"So we finally voted a Republican in," Danny chuckled, entering the kitchen and stealing from her plate. "And it only took twelve years."

It was going to be one of those days, CJ concluded, the ones where she contemplated how long she would get for murdering him versus how long if she actually took the plunge and married him.

"Course they can't make as much of a cock up as the last guy."

CJ shot him a foul look that he chose to ignore. Santos, she was willing to admit, was no President Bartlet but Josh and Sam had done a good job and she was proud of most of the legislation they had managed to pass.

"But that's what you get for electing . . ."

The ringing of the phone interrupted what CJ knew would be a long sermon besmirching her friends hard work. She snatched it up. "CJ Cregg."

"CJ, it's Josh."

"Mon Ami, how's it going?" Her face lit up at the sound of his voice and she imagined him in what had once been her office, feet up on the desk, lapping up the final took a deep breath and squeezed Donna's hand tighter.

"Effectively I'm unemployed, and homeless too, I suppose, seeing as I've practically lived here for four years."

"You'll get used it. And now you have no excuse for not coming to visit."

"Josh," Donna said softly and urgently.

"Is Donna there?" CJ asked, still bemused by the quirkiness of their relationship.

Donna took the phone from his hand, sliding into his lap and making herself comfortable. "CJ, it's me."

"Hey you." CJ tossed her plate in the sink and padded out onto the decking to join Danny and the baby.

"I don't know how to tell you. I'm not even sure there's something to tell. . . CJ, I thought you should know. Toby's missing."

Slowly, her mind working in overdrive, CJ turned from her family and began to pace the deck. "What?"

Donna rolled her eyes as Josh refused to take back the phone. "He went on vacation. We know he went scuba diving, beyond that . . .," she trailed off, silently watching Josh self-destruct, and not wanting to voice her own fears.

"Is he. . .?" CJ asked, her voice cracking.

"They don't know." The three words hung in the air. "CJ?"

"Can I call you back?"

"Sure, on my cell. Or at the apartment. We're heading there now. Are you ok?" Donna asked, wishing they could have broken the news in person, wishing they hadn't had to break the news at all.

"I'm going to throw up." CJ practically ran to the bathroom, gripping the wall as she went. Slipping down on to the sterile white tile she threw up until her throat hurt.

Danny followed the sound of retching, wondering if they were finally going to be adding to their family. "You okay, Baby?"

She shook her head and tried to sit up. Gently, she crawled up and gulped down handfuls of cold water from the tap. Dishevelled, but calmer she stood up. "I need to phone Donna back."

"CJ?" he asked, his fingers stroking her back lightly.

"Toby's missing."

He didn't know what to say. It was the last thing he had expected. He liked Toby, despite their regular spats, and opposing views on most things, and he was concerned that he was missing but he didn`t like the over-reaction CJ was having. "Missing?"

"He went scuba diving," she offered shakily. "And now he's missing."

Something sparked inside him, unexpected and unconscionable, that made him turn away from her.

"I need to phone Donna."

"I'm sure she'll phone when she has more information," he said, his voice more controlled than he felt. " If he's gone scuba diving, he might have decided to go off somewhere, taken a side trip or something."

CJ stared at his back, confused and feeling helpless. She wanted to be engulfed in his arms, and to feel safe but he was putting distance between them. "Not without telling Andi, and I'm pretty sure Josh would know by now." When he still didn't turn she pushed passed him and walked back towards the family room. "Donna, it's me," she said, once her friend picked up.

"Hey. Just give me a second. Josh is on with the airline. Apparently you can't fly direct so we have to change in Paris. Make it two tickets, Josh."

"Donna, tell him three," CJ said instinctively, without even considering the practicalities.

"Josh, CJ's coming with us." Donna gave her partner a self-satisfied smirk as if to say she knew better than him. "If you can get on the United Airlines at 11.30 you'll make the connection."

"I'll be there. Get Josh to book the ticket. I`ll pick it up at the desk."

"You're going to DC?" Danny asked stunned, catching the end of the conversation.

"We're going to find Toby."

Danny stared back at her. "What about the baby? Me? Your job? You're just going to abandon everything?"

"He's my oldest friend, Danny," she replied softly, picking up Martha and holding her against her chest.

"Who you've barely seen in four years," Danny stated, his tone laced with glanced up from gazing at the toddler to look at him.

"You think that matters? I can`t explain it, I can't explain what's driving me but I need to go." She had always had an emotional relationship with Toby, never a physical relationship and as crazy as it was she sensed he was alive, but that if she wasn't there, he wouldn't be for long. He would, she was sure, do the same thing for her. "I'll take the little one with me if you want me too. And as for work, I'm entitled to vacation time."

"I can take care of our child."

CJ walked into her bedroom and placed Martha begrudgingly on the bed as she tossed an assortment of clothes into an oversized travel bag, adding toiletries and a photo of her baby. She would miss her desperately but she would be safe with Danny. It wasn't as if she hadn't left her before, they both travelled for work, they were better parents for it, this time she knew there was more to Danny's mood. "I don't know how long I'll be gone but I'll phone every night. And you have Carol`s number and my brothers if something comes up."

"Yeah?"

"I thought we'd . . .," she started, changing her mind. ". . . I'd gotten better at this but obviously not. I need to go find my best friend. It's not a competition." Quickly, she hugged her daughter to her, kissing her hair before stepping towards Danny. "I love you." Lightly she pressed her lips to his, sighing when he didn't respond.