Two For One

Author's note: The basis for this story came from an idea started in a "Columbo" story I previously wrote called "Two Trains in the Night". Hope you enjoy!

It was another typical busy day in the INS building; typewriter keys were pounding, phones were ringing, rough drafts were being jotted down in shorthand, everything was normal, except for the lack of one typewriter pounding along with the rest. Carl Kolchak's desk sat empty and would for the next two weeks as he was off on his vacation, a fact that Tony Vincenzo was very grateful for. Two weeks without phone calls from the police telling him that one of his best reporters had been arrested again, two weeks without gibberish stories about vampires or werewolves or swamp monsters. In fact, Vincenzo had thought to himself the night Carl left to start his vacation, he could get used to this.

Tony had been out that morning when a new face entered the office. Carrying a small black travel bag slung over her shoulder, and an expensive camera case swinging in one hand, in stepped a young woman with short blonde tan hair, dressed in a T-shirt and blue jeans and white sneakers. She looked around the office and noticed that most of the desks were currently empty, at one sat an old white haired woman, and at another sat a timid looking man with wavy brown hair and a matching mustache, dressed in a three piece suit and glancing over his typewriter with a scrutinizing glare.

The young woman looked around the room again and seeing there was nobody else around, she went up to the old woman and quietly asked her, "Is Mr. Vincenzo here?"

"I don't think so, dear," she answered.

So then the woman went over to the man's desk and interrupted his typing and asked him, "Is Tony Vincenzo here?"

"Mr. Vincenzo is out at the moment," he answered, "Do you have a message for him?"

"No that's fine," she answered, "I'll wait."

She turned on her heel and returned to the middle of the room and looked at the desks again. One by one she passed them by and looked them over until she came to one in the corner of the room, and apparently she found whatever she was looking for because she put her bags down, sat down in the chair behind it, put a new piece of paper into the typewriter and started typing.

Miss Emily took a break from her puzzle for the day and leaned over towards Ron Updike's desk and whispered to him, "That's Carl's desk."

Ron looked up and over to the desk where the young woman was furiously pounding on the keys of Carl's typewriter, he shrugged and said, "Maybe Vincenzo got smart and finally fired him."

"Oh I don't believe he'd do that," Miss Emily said as she went back to her puzzle.

A few minutes later, Tony entered the office and started a beeline to his desk when he heard something that made him stop. Another typewriter was being used, he stopped in his tracks and grimaced, not any typewriter he would bet, he would swear before he even turned around that it was none other than Kolchak's typewriter. Slowly, reluctantly, he turned around and he did see somebody at Kolchak's desk punching up something.

Tony felt his blood pressure rising and his indigestion acting up again, what part of two weeks vacation didn't the man get? He felt his hands curl up into fists and he felt his vocal chords preparing for when he bellowed clear across the room, "KOLCHAK!"

The chair spun around and the woman jumped up like a shot from a gun. Tony saw her and immediately felt his indigestion get worse. He went over to the woman and said, "Excuse me ma'am, I thought you were somebody else."

"You," the woman said, her voice shaking a bit, "Must be Mr. Vincenzo."

"Yes, and who are you?" he asked.

"Uh…well…" she said, "I'm…I've come here for a job, Mr. Vincenzo."

"A job?" he repeated.

"Yes," she answered, "I understand you have a temporary opening."

He shook his head, "Must be some mistake, I haven't put out any notice for new help."

"No, it wasn't from a notice, sir," she said, "I'm here to fill in for Carl Kolchak while he's on vacation."

Oooh, his stomach just started pulsating. That name, why did she have to say that name?

"How do you know Kolchak?" he asked.

"Uh, well you see sir," the woman reached into her pocket, took out a black wallet and flipped it open to show her driver's license, "He's my uncle, my name is Carla Kolchak."

"What!?" Tony asked in disbelief. Too many questions were going through his mind to properly be processed, so he settled for the first one he could coherently think of, "Kolchak has a niece?"

"Yes," she answered, "My mom is his sister."

Tony did a double take and asked, "Kolchak has a sister?"

"Oh really," Updike spoke up, "Well clearly his insanity isn't hereditary." Tony turned around and glared at him and Ron became quiet and went back to his work.

"You see, Mr. Vincenzo," Carla told him, "Uncle Carl told me he was getting some time off, I thought I would come out from California and see if maybe I could work here for a while before he gets back. I do have experience working for newspapers."

Half jokingly, Tony couldn't resist asking, "Are you any good?"

Carla unzipped her bag and took out three papers and gave them to Tony for an answer. He saw they were cut out copies of articles that she had written and provided photographs for; one covered a massive fire in an office building, another one involved a botched trafficking ring with military ties, and the other involved a town hit by a tornado last summer, complete with up close and personal pictures of the funnel in addition to just the ugly skies and messy aftermath that left half the town demolished.

"Very interesting," he told her, "Exactly how did you get this picture?"

"My friend and I were driving through the town when we saw the tornado touch down ahead of us, we threw the car in reverse and while he drove, I stood up in the passenger side and started snapping pictures of it," she explained. "Now, granted I haven't been doing this long, and to answer, no, I didn't go to college, and I wasn't the best student in high school, I know they don't have majors in high school but I did take journalism and photography and excelled in them as well as English and history, all of which I consider to be important tools to use in the investigative reporting business."

Tony considered it for a while and said, "I may regret this, Miss Kolchak, I may end up regretting this very much because I know your uncle well enough to wish I didn't…but while Carl's out, I'll let you fill his spot and see what you can do."

Carla smiled and said, "Thank you, Mr. Vincenzo."

"Call me Tony," he told her, "Oh but there's one question I must ask before I give you the job."

"What's that?" she asked.

He tried to think of a way to put this without insulting her. "How well do you know your uncle?"

"Well I live in California so we aren't very close," she said.

"Do you know what he's like? Do you happen to know what his beliefs are?"

She wasn't getting it, "What, you mean like religion?"

"No…I'll be the first to admit your uncle is one hell of a reporter, when he can keep his mind on the job, but a lot of times he runs off with some gobbledygook about werewolves, swamp creatures, little green men, you don't happen to believe in any of that junk, do you?"

Carla shook her head, "Oh no, Mr. Vincenzo, certainly not."

"Well that's fine," he smiled, "Consider yourself hired. Oh but there is one more thing, what were you typing when I came in?"

Carla rolled the paper out of the typewriter and gave it to him to read. It was an article introducing herself as Carl's replacement for the time being and also gave insight on how the Windy City looked through the eyes of a born and bred Californian.

"A little sappy but for the first day it'll do," he said as he gave it back to her and started towards his own office.

"Oh Mr. Vincenzo," Carla called to him, "While Uncle Carl's on vacation is it alright if I keep my supplies in his desk?"

"Yes, that'll be fine," he said, and then stopped. Supplies? He turned back and saw Carla taking several large books out of her travel bag and stuffing them into Carl's desk, he went over and asked her, "Miss Kolchak, exactly what is all that?"

"Oh…well I hope you don't mind, but I just got in town and haven't got a place to stay yet, so I'm leaving my personal belongings here until I get checked in."

Tony nodded understandingly, but on the inside he was starting to think just how crazy he'd gone after being around Carl all these years, giving a job to a kid who didn't even have an address to be reached at yet, and Kolchak's niece of all people to boot! He cleared his throat and asked if she would mind if he looked at her books, she didn't mind and he looked through them and saw much to his relief that they were just true crime books.

"You're probably aware of this," she said, "But Chicago has a notorious past for its part of the big crime wave of the 20s and 30s."

"Yes, I'm aware," he said as he handed her books back.

"Well I've always been fascinated by all the stories," Carla explained, "I figured maybe something will pop up while I'm here that I can tie in to its history."

"Just stick to the facts and you'll do alright here, kid," he told her and gave her a light slap on the back, "Oh by the way, you're going to be working alongside the other members of this newspaper, this is our advice columnist Miss Emily, and this is Ron Updike."

"I seem to recall my uncle mentioning something about an Updike…or maybe he said Uptight."

"Hmph," Ron turned up his nose, but he decided to be civilized and he stood up from his desk to shake her hand and said, "Pleased to be working with you, Miss Kolchak."

Carla turned up her palm and said, "I never shake hands with people, they have germs on them." And she walked past him and went over to Miss Emily's desk and shook hands with her and said, "Nice to meet you, Miss Emily."

Ron turned his attention back to his work and grumbled under his breath, "Just our luck, we get rid of one Kolchak and then get another in his place."

Carla went back to her desk and watched until Tony was out of the room, then she reached into the bottom of her bag and pulled out several large books about vampires, voodoo zombies, ghosts, and other unexplained phenomena throughout history and placed them in the bottom of the desk under her crime books, steno pads, pen sets and cassette recorder and blank tapes. What Vincenzo didn't know wouldn't hurt either of them.