He smiled softly, his gaze only on her as she twirled, drunk off the wine. She wore his haori over top of her own clothes, shielding her from the cold. She seemed so content but he knew she had cleared her mind. It was the only time she let herself drink really. She was drunk and any feelings of hope had long ago left her... But he didn't know she had given up...
Inuyasha sighed, leaping into the Goshinboku and resting on a low branch. He closed his eyes, one leg hanging off as he got comfortable. He recalled that day, fondly almost, but with each time the memory came, so did more heartache.
present time
The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
Kagome sighed, looking over to her alarm clock. Nearly 1 am... Ugh... She thought, tossing and turning, attempting to get more comfortable despite her swollen stomach. She rubbed it, soothing the pup inside her. So restless and violent... Just like your papa...
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, drifting off after a while, praying tomorrow would not pass so fast, only to leave her struggling at night.
I am still here waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
Inuyasha glanced at the well, cursing the jewel for sealing it. For taking his mate away from him. He wondered if it would ever be open once more.
Without a second thought, as many other nights have witnessed, he jumped from the branch and headed to the well. Kneeling down, he rested his arms on the edge and stared down it, hoping, praying it would open. But, like every night for the past 5 months, it refused.
Miroku sighed deeply, having left Kaedes hut to find Inuyasha. He knew where the hanyou would be, make no mistake about that. No, Miroku knew very well, as did the others, that the well is where he'd be found.
"Inuyasha." He called out softly, standing a distance away. "You must rest. Kagome-sama will not be home tonight."
Inuyasha was silent for a while. "I am staying Miroku. I know she'll come home. She has to..."
I'm falling apart
Barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
Miroku sighed softly and nodded, knowing he would not convince the poor soul. Instead, he turned and began his way back to Kaede's, back to his wife and children. "When will this grief end for him?"
Inuyasha ignored him, his ear twitching at the remark before lowering against his head. Kagome...
He could feel his entire being grow heavy with the ache of heartbreak. His chest constricted slightly and left him gasping for air as the tears began flowing freely. He shook his head to rid himself of the memories and wiped his eyes before standing.
In the pain, there is healing
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Kagome smiled softly, the dawn of a new day peaking through her window. She gazed at the clock before getting off the bed and waddling downstairs to the kitchen. She began making breakfast not for herself, but as an offering.
Once happy that the task was done, she took the food out to the altar by the Goshinboku and laid the food there, offering a prayer and a wish.
It hurt, seeing that tree. Knowing the connection it gave her had now been lost. But she smiled anyways and rubbed her belly, appeasing the small one inside. It was a miracle for her, the last piece of Inuyasha she had. If only the pup would know their father... Inuyasha...
The name alone sent shivers through her spine. He was her home. And he was very far away. But every day that passed, she still managed to hold on. She refused to let go, hoping that one day, he might return to get her. She knew it was a foolish hope, but nevertheless, it was what she had left.
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded,
I'm an open book instead
Inuyasha frowned, moving aside the flaps to Kaedes hut as he entered. He sat down in his corner, letting the twins climb over him. He gave a small smile, bending his head a bit as they reached for his ears.
Sango smiled softly, nursing her newest son. "How are you doing Inuyasha?"
"Feh. I'm fine." He huffed, crossing his arms and glancing the other way.
Sango frowned and looked down to her son. "I miss her too, you know? We all do... She really made us... into a family."
Inuyasha said nothing, his thoughts consuming him.
Kagome smiled at him, grabbing his hand. She began dragging him across the field in what she called a dance.
"Feh. This ain't dancing wench."
"Of course it is!" She laughed, leaning into him as she twirled with him. She heard a small grunt and closed her eyes, the comfort of his chest soothing her.
He smiled, her head tucked under his chin so she couldn't see it. It was moments like this that he truly wondered how he was so lucky. He had never known a woman quite like Kagome. She was brash, but beautiful. Intelligent, but naive. But somehow, after almost 200 years of life, she had managed to break him down, just enough to enjoy moments like these. Not that he'd admit to it.
Inuyasha knew, time after time argument after argument, that she belonged with him. He refused to admit it...
Until now that is, until now that he had lost her.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on
(I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Sango gently pat his shoulder as she passed by him, leaving the hut with her children. He spared her a glance and a small smile.
Miroku stayed, sitting across from him. "You know, Inuyasha... I was digging around a bit and I found something that may be of interest to you."
Inuyasha raised a brow and watched as Miroku dug through his pocket and pulled out a small gold locket. "Kagome left this I do believe."
The hanyou snatched it from him with a growl. Clutching it to his chest, he closed his eyes, inhaling the faint scent from it and relaxing. Miroku only smiled softly, expecting the brash reaction.
Opening it with careful claws, he found the two pictures inside. Kagome... He thought softly, the name alone reminding him of his home. Wherever she was, he felt at home. But this also brought fresh tears with it.
Taking it as a good time to leave, Miroku happily left the hut to give Inuyasha time to cry, knowing the hanyou wouldn't unless alone.
Inuyasha clutched at the locket, holding it to his heart as he closed his eyes, the memory invading his mind by force.
They were alone in the woods, relaxing together. He watched her as she stood from the log, pushing a chain over his head. He scowled at her, asking what in her right mind she was doing.
He couldn't recall exactly what happened, but he remembered that smile she gave, even as he shoved the locket back into her hands. She put up a small fight but none like the one that had seperated them, causing the jewel to act on its own.
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK
Kagome stood in front of the tree still, hours having passed. Her hand remained steadfast on her stomach, rubbing it on occasion. She closed her eyes, feeling the wind around her, almost a whisper carried to her.
"Wench. What makes you think that?"
"Well, the fact that you ran off to her again." She said softly, her gaze averted from him.
"I went to say goodbye, Kagome. To tell her I have my mate... Not to interfere with us again..."
"And she will. you know her Inuyasha. Just because you have taken me as your mate does not mean she won't return to claim your soul."
"Kagome... You'll be okay. WE will be okay. I promise. I'm not going anywhere else without you..."
Kagome smiled and nodded, gazing up at him. She placed a hand on his chest and buried her head under his chin as he held her.
"I love you, Kagome."
Kagome smiled softly, opening her eyes and turning her head towards the well house. "If only I was Inuyasha... But I'm not..." I'll never be okay...
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
Several days had passed leaving Kagome ready to leave, to get on with her life.
She was on her way to the train station, sitting in the back of a taxi cab, watching the lights pass by. She felt alone, looking to the empty seat beside her. Inuyasha... I hope you are well... I'll be back one day...
She smiled and returned her gaze to the window as they pulled up to an train station. She was on her way to Hokkaido for schooling. As promised to her mother, she would return during the summer months to help at the shrine, but for now, she needed space. The memories were too great, seeing the tree and well everyday.
It didn't feel right to her though, and the yearning to go back home ate at her soul. But no matter, she shook her head and pushed the feeling down. I'll be home someday...
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on
(I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on
(I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Both souls ached heavily as the years passed and the well still refused to open. Kagome had come back home, a child in her arms after her fourth year of school. With open arms, her mother welcomed her.
"Kagome!"
"Mama! I'm home!"
Mrs. Higurashi smiled softly, picking up the small boy who ran at her, his ears perked up. "Oh my! You've grown so big InuTsuki!"
He giggled, nuzzling into her shoulder. "Grandma!"
Kagome chuckled softly, setting their suitcases down. "He eats me out of house and home, Mama. How did you ever feed me and Souta?"
"Easy, Kagome. You two were humans."
Kagome smiled and approached her for a hug, squeezing the child between them.
"Oh! I have a surprise for you darling. So take InuTsuki and I'll get the bags."
"Are you sure Mama? I can carry those."
"Oh I've got it. I may be getting old, but I still have my strength." The older woman laugh and handed the boy to her. "Now get inside before the surprise gets impatient."
"Impatient?" Once she recieved a nod in reply, Kagome shrugged and headed for the house. She set the boy down and he hid behind her leg. The door hadn't been opened halfway when she felt two strong arms wrap around her.
Kagome tensed and looked up, gasping. "Inu... Yasha..."
"Long time no see wench." he grinned, nuzzling into her hair a bit.
Immediately she stiffened, causing him to frown. He pulled back, coming face to face with annoyed Kagome. "Watch your language Inuyasha!"
"Wha-"
"Your son is being raised not to insult others." She huffed, not even thinking that he didn't know.
"My... My son?"
Now it was her time to be surprised. Shyly, she nodded. "Yes, Inuyasha. Your son." She said softly, reaching behind her to usher the boy to the front.
Inuyasha looked at him in awe, realizing how dense he was for not smelling him before.
"Inuyasha, this is your son, InuTsuki. InuTsuki... This. This is your father." She said softly, her hand resting on his head, between his ears.
Inuyasha looked back at her. "All this time... I had a child... Oh gods Kagome." He said, quickly pulling her into a tight hug. Regret poured over him for being gone. "I am so sorry... You raised a child... Without me... I was so stupid!"
"Hush Inuyasha. It isn't your fault the well closed. You didn't know and neither did I." She said softly, running her free hand through his hair. "You're here now... So get to know your son. We can catch up later..."
Inuyasha didn't relenquish his hold for a few more moments before he pulled away. She could see the tears in his eyes and gently wiped at them before picking her son up and handing him to Inuyasha.
He was reluctant at first, but the child gladly nuzzled into him, knowing his fathers scent. Inuyasha choked down a sob as he nuzzled back, cheek to cheek with his son. "He looks so much like you, Kagome..."
"Aside from the ears." She chuckled softly, watching felt at ease, a bit anxious, but over joyed that she could have her lover back and that her son had his father.
Watching the scene, she reflected on herself. I'm still broken... But now I can start piecing myself back together...