Alucard: Stress Therapist
In a cushy office, this dialogue transpired:
"I just..." said the woman, wiping her eyes, "its like they expect me to do everything! I work for eight hours and then I come home and they expect me to cook, and clean, and... and just do everything! I mean, what am I supposed to do? What do you think I should do? How am I supposed to fit all that stuff in one day?"
There was a pause from the man in the psychiatrist's chair, with only the sound of a tapping pencil.
"Hmm..." he said, "I believe the solution would be to hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"
Non-Violent Problem Solving
(A New One for Hellsing)
"Very well," said Enrico Maxwell, "we agree to your challenge. After all, no one has ever defeated Father Anderson in a bible quotations contest."
Integra smiled silently.
"Frankly, I doubt a Protestant sow like you could find anyone worthy of challenging him. Nonetheless, bring him out."
"Walter!" yelled Integra. "Bring out the challenger!"
Once she had entered, Integra introduced her.
"This is Jane Eyre."
(I hope at least one person understands/enjoys the last one.)