White Christmas
The first time someone walked through me, it was sharp, the feeling of rejection, then came the crushing confusion. Was I not real? Am I a ghost? I asked the Man in the Moon who I was, and what I was, but he was silent.
The second time I was ignored, I lied to myself - I'm ok. It's ok - but the bitter tears still came and I holed myself up for a week. The Man in the Moon was still as silent as before, and I began to resent him. Why am I here? Why won't you tell me? Why was I even born?!
For many years, I avoided people. What was the point? They couldn't see me, and being near them hurt, because even if I screamed at the top of my lungs, they couldn't hear. No one could hear my voice.
But being all alone hurt even more.
That winter, the winds screamed in pain and shook the windows and, instead of snow, freezing rain fell from the heavens and froze everything it touched. Everyone stayed inside, huddled together for warmth, weathering the ice storm, and I watched from afar as they comforted one another. How I wished I could be one of them.
Soon, the loneliness became too much to bear and I made my way back toward civilization. Even if they couldn't see me, if I stood in the middle of town and closed my eyes, I could pretend that I was one of them, going about my daily life. However, the illusion was easily shattered when someone walked through me.
That winter, I didn't have the energy to do anything. There was no snow. There was no wind. Only the cold snap of loneliness. Still, the Man in the Moon was silent, watching from above. I stopped talking to him. I stopped asking. He never answered anyway.
The next winter, when I returned, there was sadness in the air, and I was confused. Slowly walking toward the middle of town, I overheard a child and turned, curiously. "I hope it snows this year!"
The mother smiled back. "I hope so too! Everything is so much prettier when it snows, right?"
The child laughed - such a musical sound. "Yea! And we can build snowmen! And and have snowball fights!"
The mother chuckled. "That's right!"
Something in me changed. I realized…
I realized that even if they couldn't see me, they could still see the effects of my work… and what had I been doing these past years?!
I groaned. Even if I'm not happy and even if I'm not content doesn't mean that I couldn't make others happy! Well, this year… this year, I'll give them all a white Christmas, at the very least.