Title: Cas, No!

Author: all3ofthatcrap

Pairing: Sam/Castiel

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Keep calm and don't sue me.

Author's note: Written for the beautiful didyousaychocolate 3 Another short but sweet Sassy!

"What the – Cas, this is why we can't have nice things."

"I don't understand," Castiel murmured as Sam raided the trunk of the impala for a towel. "Why don't these women want to be told that they are beautiful?"

Sam sighed heavily, mopping at the angel's face. "They do, Cas, but why do you have to say it like that?"

"Like what?" Castiel blinked.

"Okay, no, Sam." Dean was furious. "This is the fourth time tonight. We can't take him anywhere. How about you two go back to the motel," he smirked "I'm gonna finally get some action without this walking cockblock around."

Sam sighed as Dean snatched the keys out of his pocket, "If you make me fucking detail her again, you are a dead man, jerk!"

"Shut up bitch!"

Well that's the end of that, Sam thought, as Castiel zapped him back to the motel.

It was 1:30 in the morning when Dean finally stumbled back through the door. Sam was zonked out on the bed and Castiel was lightly stroking his hair.

"- THE HELL?" Dean shouted, weaving slightly as he got closer to the angel. "Good thing I found out what to do with you!"

"Dean, wha-" Sam mumbled sleepily, until he found himself wide-awake with rivulets of water running down his face. "Dude, what the Hell?"

If Sam thought he was wet, it was nothing compared to Castiel, whose face, hair, and trench coat were completely drenched from the water Sam left for Dean on the nightstand. Before Sam could even retaliate, however, Dean had passed out and Castiel had winged himself out of the room.

"At least it stopped him."

"Dean, that's not the point."

"Aw Sammy, you wanna be touched by an angel? All I'm saying is it ain't a bad method," Dean smiled as he filled up the spray bottle.

"He isn't a dog, Dean!"

But Dean's eyes were already closed. "Give us this day our daily Cas – "

There was a flutter of wings. "Dean you are atrocious at prayers. What is that." Dean slid the spray bottle behind his back.

"What's what?"

"Do you intend to spray me with holy water? I am not a demon, Dean."

"… No. It's, ah. It's tap water. Now don't get offended Cas, but – "

"GOD DAMN, WINCHESTER, YOU ACTED LIKE YOU WAS DRUNK AS AN ASS."

"You ought not blaspheme in such-"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

"Why don't we take this to my car?"

"Oh, but Dean, I think someone is following us-"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

SLAM.

"But Dean, it is quite simple. If we go with Sam's plan, the Mother-"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

"The path to heaven is often a river or a road, but never a stairway. This man-"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

Squirt.

"Cas, no!"

"Dean, he was just standing there!"

"He was threatening your virtue!"

"It is true, Sam," Castiel said, dripping and despondent. "I was attempting to hold your hand."