My Heart, My Pain Won't Cover Up (You Left Me)
Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Marvel's CinematicUniverse/Captain America, and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece. All other situations and plot developments are mine.
Summary: He doesn't begrudge Steve for finally choosing happiness, he doesn't. Steve deserves the world and more, and quite frankly, he's earned it. Steve should be happyand with the woman of his dreams.
It's just…
Author's Note: Very much filled with spoilers for Endgame. Very much written in a sobbing fury over how they wrapped up Steve Rogers's story arc. Title from Blue October's 'Congratulations'. Possible out-of-characterness and un-beta'd.
Constructive criticism and comments are always welcomed.
Published: 28 April 2019
Rating: T
Bucky quietly shuts the door behind him before he slowly leans back against it. He slides down until he is sitting in front of it and then he stares blankly ahead of him.
He doesn't begrudge Steve for finally choosing happiness, he doesn't. Steve deserves the world and more, and quite frankly, he's earned it. Steve should be happy and with the woman of his dreams.
It's just…
It's just that Bucky had thought he was important to Steve.
He's never expected Steve to love him the way that he loves Steve—that would be completely unreasonable—but he thought he mattered, at least a little bit. And Steve's always supported that theory up until this point—coming after Bucky's unit during the War, refusing to fight Bucky on the Helicarrier and searching for him afterwards, and throwing just about everything he got in this strange new world for Bucky. The visits in Wakanda. The look on his face when Bucky was turned to ash.
Each time, a little bit of Bucky dared to hope. Maybe there would be room for Bucky in Steve's world. Maybe he still mattered. Maybe Bucky was important.
But he's none of those things to Steve, and now he knows it. It's a painfully cruel realisation, and he knows that he'll never get over it.
Because if he had mattered to his friend, Steve would have come for him. Steve knew where he being held and what was being done to him; Steve had read the reports. Steve knew.
And he had chosen not to come.
x Fin x