Chapter 1: The prologue
Or alternatively, The chapter where Bella becomes a psychopath and a Vampire but not in that order.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
It had been a beautiful night when she was brutally murdered.
She had been out on her own. Clubbing, in Seattle when a vampire took her for a tasty snack. She didn't know how long he had been stalking her, but It had barely taken a second.
One moment, she was leaning up against the alley way wall, the next, she was being pushed against said wall with his mouth on her neck, desperately saying how 'tasty' she smelled.
She had died, rather anti climatically. Her last thoughts were spent thinking of her regrets, as the beast like man sucked greedily on her life blood.
She regretted not going to enough games with Charlie, even though they were pretty craptacular and consisted of her paying the barest amount of attention before sneakily spending twenty minutes in the toilet and… who was she kidding, not a regret there.
she regretted not spending enough time with Renne, her mother, who was so full of life that she breathed some of it into her perpetually slow family.
She regretted that she was still a virgin, although to be honest, Mary, her girlfriend, wouldn't have been the best lay in bed, Bella could tell.
she regretted that she hadn't finished X-Files, Moulder would totally get together with Skully, Right? She regretted not answering Bowies question, Is there life on Mars?
She regretted her first kiss was a boy who had spent the day crying about his dog dying, she had done it to mostly shut him up.
She regretted the past, so fully, so fervently that it became the only emotion she felt as her consciousness ceased to exist.
And then, finally, she slipped into the peaceful afterlife, prepared to see what all the hype was about.
Only to promptly wake up and start screaming bloody murder.
Her entire body felt like it had been dipped in acid and then set on fire, from the inside. It was the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. Every second felt like a year to her, with the pain that went coursing through her veins, every scream was deafened by the roaring of blood in her ears. It was pain, in its purest unadulterated form. A pain so pure that it ripped away every other thought and emotion, leaving nothing in its wake.
Except regret. It was the only emotion she felt that wasn't related to the mind destroying pain that racked her body. She clung, like a babe would to a pacifier, on the feeling of regret. She clung, so forcefully and desperately to that emotion that it became her very essence. She became her regret.
She had woken up in a bed with a strange thirst and a familiar face leered over her, showing perfectly bright white teeth. Her head felt like someone had smashed a mallet into it, but even through the spinning room, he had still taken her, wordlessly, to a room that held a gagged girl no older than fifteen.
Suddenly the thirst which had been hanging in her subconscious came forth like a tidal wave. It enveloped her entire being, her vision went red and she acted on auto pilot. It wasn't graceful, not like her captor, she tore the poor girls throat open without a thought and drank her dry. The wonderful life blood pouring into her mouth as she swallowed greedily.
He had smiled, purred in fact. Softly, he whispered how they would build a coven together, how they would become safe and strong with her at his side.
She hated him.
After she was done with the drained corpse of the young girl, she tore his head off, quickly like you would rip off a band aid.
So caught up in his whispered monologue, he allowed her to get close to him, obviously mistaking her look for admiration, awe, love or another silly emotion.
But she was just annoyed. This stupid man wouldn't stop talking and she was getting irritated at his interruptions. Her higher mental faculties, being impaired by the bloodlust that came from being a newborn, were turned off until she got her share of blood. She could only truly feel one emotion.
Rage.
She didn't even spare a glance at his marble like body when it crumpled to the floor. His head, rolling away in perpetual confusion.
She spent the next week killing and drinking as many humans as possible. She didn't think about why, she only did. Giving in fully to her bloodlust and regret
If she had looked behind her when she left the small apartment, she would have seen a figure discreetly enter the building after her, and a flame start to burn.
But she didn't look, so she didn't see.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
It was exactly seven days after her turning when she thought about Mary.
Seven days when she thought about Charlie.
Seven days when she thought about Renne.
Seven days when she thought about X-Files.
She thought about these things for but a moment… and then continued ripping out the junkies throat in the apartment below hers. She drank his blood with an animalistic fervour, her mind casually skimming over these new found memories and emotions.
Her memory was coming back, just not her empathy.
Her mind was still clouded with bloodlust and instinct.
Hunt, kill, feed, hide. These animalistic thoughts reverberated around her head, commanding her to obey them. Bella was little more than hazy unimportant memories at this point.
The vampire had control, for now.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
It had been a month since her turning, when she first sat down and cried.
Or at least, she tried to cry, apparently being a vampire negated having tears and other pointless bodily fluids like that. So she just ended up dry coughing for a few minutes before resolving to brood like the proper vamp she was.
Bella felt sick to her core, the acts which she had seen–which she had done.
Murderer.
Coward.
Monster.
Vampire.
Oh, she knew she was a vampire, she wasn't an idiot. She had figured that out the first day of her new existence, she also knew that anonymity was key to surviving, lest others of her kind came to eat her or something. Unfortunately, she looked like a three year old's arts and crafts project when she went out into direct sunlight, which was a dead giveaway to her true nature. Which made moving to California a bad idea.
She had slowly felt her faculties return to her over the course of the month, not to say she had been a complete animal during that first month. She had been very careful, keeping to the shadows, only killing the drug addicts that lived in her building, keeping the barest minimum of contact with humans, that sort of stuff. Even in her blood crazed haze she was able to think logically enough to hide her tracks from prying eyes.
But after that 'Honeymoon' month she had gotten a dose of empathic reality. She was a stone cold murderer.
She had killed something close to fifty people in that first month, a number that seemed apathetic enough until you realised that each one of those people had a name, a story.
A mother and a father in mourning.
She didn't even feel bad, not really. She knew she should feel bad, that soul crushing guilt should be forcing itself down her throat until she threw herself in Mt Etna. But she didn't feel any guilt, what she had done felt… right.
Like eating a burger or drinking water, like swatting away a fly or itching an annoying itch. She didn't know if this new found sense of Apathy was a temporary or permanent part of her new life, but she endeavoured to herself to find a tighter sense of self control or risk becoming a blood crazed lunatic.
An hour later she was draining a thirty year old jogger on his return route.
She had sat in her darkened room for what must have been hours after that, trying to think up a solution to her murderous tendencies that didn't include suicide, besides… she wasn't even sure she could kill herself. Her nigh invulnerability was something which she keenly explored, her only clue to any weakness was a memory of killing her progenitor.
Her bloodlust was beginning to attract attention though, that many people killed in a small area was suspicious to say the least. She needed a more permanent solution that didn't involve murdering the local population.
The solution had come to her with a metaphorical light bulb.
Blood bank.
She had donated blood before she was turned, all in good conscience of course, but why shouldn't she get some back as recompense? And as a bonus, it stopped her murdering people, which was cool.
Stealing blood was ludicrously easy, it took forty two days for donor blood to be 'properly disposed off'. Steal a couple of packets, put it in your mini fridge and… poof! your golden for another couple of days. Cameras couldn't catch her speed, humans definitely couldn't catch her speed, no one cared about missing outdated blood and she wasn't killing human beings.
What's not to love?
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
Month two was when she started getting bored. Seattle rained nearly nonstop and maintained a constant cloud cover, it had become somewhat of a game for her to go outside and 'mingle' without killing some poor shmuck. Thanks to the fifty bags of blood sitting in her mini fridge, she wasn't afraid of shaking someone's hand or something like that, holding her breath and running away also helped. The miracle of contact lenses also kept her dark secret… secret, as Vibrant red eyes were somewhat… strange, in society.
She started getting bolder with her control, spending more time amongst the humans. Slowly, she started getting better with interacting with people each day. She slipped, of course, but each time she did it, it was with the knowledge that she would eventual have complete control over her thirst.
She knew she had changed, not just physically, but mentally as well. It hadn't occurred to her how much until she had slipped for the fourth time.
The young girl reminded Bella of herself before the change, some small awkward teen who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bella had been getting groceries as part of her new cover as a broke college student living in a dingy flat. The girl had nearly tripped when Bella entered the store, to her amusement. The girl and Bella were the only ones in the grocery store at the time, it was far too late for any decent person to be shopping.
Which was unfortunate, in retrospect.
The girl was cute, blushing and stuttering her way through the conversation. She talked about her parents and her dreams, she wanted to go to college herself as an Art Major. It was clear she had some sort of crush on Bella which was normal enough considering how she looked (like a marble bust of a Greek goddess) . She was surprise when she found herself also enjoying the conversation they were both having, the girl was charming, in an awkward klutz way. She hadn't known how starved she was of human contact until she had gotten it, that conversation was the best one she'd had in gods know how long. It was almost normal, painfully normal for a second before it sharply shattered.
The girl cut herself on the edge of the counter with her elbow, like the awkward idiot she was.
Bella had tried, god she had tried. Standing there, thinking of every disgusting thing, every smell that wasn't the vanilla enhanced lavender smell coming from the girls elbow. She had cried and screamed for the girl to run, to go away from her.
But she didn't and the thirst had started in her throat, clawing its way up her oesophagus.
The girl had time to barely give a hesitant voice of panicked concern before Bella had jumped over the counter and ripped her throat out.
From there it was easy, get rid of the body, and the tapes. Burn the building to the ground, destroy the evidence.
She had sat in her apartment for a while, replaying the conversation in her head over and over again. She had liked that girl, she was sweet and had a sense of humour that belayed her awkward nature.
So why didn't she feel guilty?
It was like all the others, a sense of sadness over the loss of their lives, but more like how you would feel sad over losing a goldfish or a bird. She had changed, no. Her mind had changed. She likened it to a predator, a lion or a wolf.
Humans were just food, Bella didn't know how to feel about this revelation. On the one hand, it made it easier for her to rationalise the killings she had committed before in her mind. On the other hand, it meant she was essential a psychopath in human terminology, only feeling guilt over the deaths of those she felt close enough to.
Guilt was like a weed, it was small at first, but it grows quickly over time.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
Could she feel love? For herself or any other person, human or vampire? She didn't know the answer to those questions, but what she did know was that she wasn't comfortable with what those answers might be.
It was with a renewed sense of purpose that she started re-testing her control. She didn't know if she was a psychopath, a sociopath or a coward. But what she did know was that she wasn't willing to just 'give up' because she 'might' hurt someone, besides, she had some new motivation.
She didn't lose control after The Girl
She went to the library whenever she got bored of mingling, If she wasn't willing to do anything important, she may as well get started in properly learning, and stuff. She promptly left the library in a week, later having read all the books that related to her vampirism. Okay, that was a lie. She had literally just read the ones that seemed interesting and involved violence and blood in some way.
Okay, so she wasn't really into reading and learning thing just yet, so sue her.
The realisation came to her after she had managed to read dozens of books in a couple of days, she didn't just move fast, she did everything fast. She also suspected that she had an eidetic or photographic memory… or some rubbish like that. That book about ancient Indian vampirism lore was still bouncing around in her head, even if she didn't understand half of the terminology.
Still… she did need something to do, something to keep her immortal mind on. If she was even immortal, maybe she would age like porcelain, becoming brittle and weak over time. Regardless, she was going insane from staying in her darkened room and forcing herself not to kill her noisy neighbours.
So she moved to juggling … easy for her new reflexes, hard to concentrate within five kilometres of a human.
How about… how to write? child's play for her new memory and increased cognitive abilities.
How to build? Strength+Speed= Duh.
How to joke, how to dance, how to control her strength, control her voice, control her face, how to flirt, how to fake cry, how to sail, archery, baseball, football, soccer, videogames, tennis, the list goes on and on and on.
It didn't matter if she was good or not at those… activities, before her turning. Everything just came naturally to her now. It would be in the sixth month before she realised why.
Perfect predator, the Venus fly trap of human beings. She embodied all the characteristics that someone wanted for themselves, natural beauty, natural intelligence and natural grace. Except, it wasn't natural at all, and when the victim found that out it was already too late for them. The perfect predator… all her traits were specially chosen by nature to lure in humans beings.
Her lunch.
It was disgusting to her on so many levels, this biological seduction she wasn't even conscious of most of the time. Her increased abilities also proved to heighten her annoyance as she no longer had any hobby to truly focus on.
Okay, Sure, that wasn't technically true as she wasn't perfect at any of these temporary hobbies, not by a long shot. It was just far easier for her to learn how to do them against, say… someone who wasn't a magical vampire girl. There was definitely a challenge attached to many of these past times, but she didn't have the patience or attention span to really focus on them fully.
Who knew choosing what to be perfect at would be such a bore?
The statement was ironic on so many levels, bored about being bored because you can't be bothered to alleviate your boredom. She was such an idiot back then.
The erratic chasing of hobbies wasn't just a desperate way for her to find some new meaning in her life. It was also the avoidance of reality.
She knew that she could never go back to her old life now, not with her sins, and unquenchable thirst for blood. Her family thought she was dead, hell, everyone thought she was dead. It had been in the paper, slightly insulting as it was. She was fairly certain she was worth at least a second on the silver screen… but, whatever.
Today, on the 5th of November, 2004. The remains of three girls were found in a deserted apartment belonging to one 'Ramond Madrell'.
Avery Marcell, Julia Jacklen and Bella Swan were reported missing a week ago amidst allegations of strange disappearances surrounding the west Seattle area. Two, of the three kidnapped bodies were found lying, dead, in Mr Madrells house alongside the remains of his burnt body, three litres of Miss's Swans blood was found surrounding the immediate area of Mr Madrell. It was determined that Bella Swan is presumed dead due to blood loss and her body was taken by persons unknown, possibly a Vigilante. The search has been called off pending further evidence.
It was the shittiest byword she had ever seen, giving the bare bone details. There wasn't any mention of any supernatural qualities about 'the guys' body, in fact, it had mentioned burnt remains, she didn't exactly remember everything about that first day but she definitely didn't burn him. It was worrying and it made her wonder if perhaps someone else had a grudge against 'The Guy'.
No matter 'The Guys' actual name, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of being humanised.
He deserved to die.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
The next month had been spent distracting herself.
It didn't work.
It was a cold Wednesday night when she found herself auto dialling her parents cell. Before she could press cancel, it picked up.
"Hello?"
Her dad… Charlie. He answered, his voice hadn't changed at all, even if it sounded lower… sadder. She didn't dare say anything over the line, they thought she was dead after all and maybe, maybe that was for the best.
"Listen you little shits, we're busy mourning our daughter at the moment if you don't fucking mind!" He snarled over the phone, responding to the few seconds of silence on the other line. She had never really heard her dad be that angry before, certainly never at her anyway. A wry smile found her lips.
Go dad.
"If this happens again ill track your number and beat your asses myself." The dial went down, and with it any hopes of returning to her old life.
She was surprised when she didn't feel that bad about it.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
She had been patient, very patient.
Not pushing he mind, trying not to think about her past.
She had assumed that over time her memories would become clearer, sharper. She would remember her life and her humanity with some nostalgia… eventually.
But her memories were still just as hazy now, as they were three months ago.
It frustrated her, a lot. She still remembered some things about her previous life, her parents names and important events and such.
But things like, her home address… nope.
Her first crush… nada.
Shit! It was a struggle to just remember her birthday… July… 23rd? no! It was the 24th, or was it the… shit.
Maybe it was for the best, if she was constantly regretting what she had lost then she doubted she could ever actually move on. It didn't make it fine, because it would never be fine, but it was a small mercy amongst her life of cruelty.
She was turning into such a pussy.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
It was the sixth month when she decided to move shop. Seattle was starting to bore her, rain was great and all, but constant rain got tedious after a while. Her control around humans wasn't really in question, she was able to not murder people most of the time. Which, on a related note, brought her to a curious conclusion. Most of her thought processes had returned to Bella at this point. The biggest clue to this realisation of a 'calming down', as it were, came when she saw a guy skin his knee on the side walk and she didn't immediately rip his head off. She really wanted to, but she didn't!
If she was being honest with herself, she just didn't want the reminders that came associated with the city, she had lost her life here afterall. Living amongst five hundred thousand people in close proximity didn't exactly inspire a sense of patriotism to the city either.
Hunger? Sure.
Loyalty? Nah.
No, Bella needed a fresh start, somewhere where she could live an isolated existence without any pesky humans to ruin her streak. There were a lot of places Bella could run to, South America rainforests, Finland, Russia.
Getting to these places wouldn't be a problem, she had discovered her supernatural running abilities pretty early on. Very useful for running away from clueless human beings.
She could run to any place which had as little sun to expose her to humans as possible. Then again, she possibly could just go to places where no human would be, like the Antarctic or some remote desert in Africa or something.
Logically, it was sound. Being away from humans would allow Bella's conscience to rest at ease, the hole in her plan became apparent when she went to go get a snack.
The sweet smell of blood permeated her small apartment as it heated up in her microwave.
Blood.
She had no way of getting blood, worse yet. She had no way of getting blood unless she killed the odd person out there, something which she wasn't keen on doing. That left completely uninhabited places completely out of the question… hehe.
The thought of total seclusion was almost too painful for Bella to think about anyway. She was a social creature at heart, it was why she was at a club in the first place.
No, she needed at least some people to interact with otherwise she'd go insane. Somewhere that was remote enough to have a low population of humans, but a high enough population to have a blood bank or hospital. She still needed to eat after all.
She needed to decide quickly before her funds ran completely out. When she had first turned into Dracula, her only thoughts were on killing people and making sure nobody knew about it. Once she had regained a some decorum of sanity, it was with the knowledge that some homeless people had more money than her. She only had the bloodstained clothes and some money she had taken from her previous meals.
She couldn't hold down a job, not that she wanted to any way at that point, which meant that her options for procuring funds was drastically reduced.
Then she discovered she was the flash reincarnated.
So, discovering this awesome power and all the risks that came with it, she decided what any moral law abiding citizen would do.
She began robbing people blind.
The little nest egg which she had built up wouldn't last her very long anyway, seeing as she could only steal what people kept in their wallets at the time. Many a child had a temper tantrum when the parent couldn't pay for their candy.
She needed somewhere new where she could make some money without robbing or murder, which was why she needed to decide where to move, and soon. There were plenty of places for her to go anyway.
Or so She thought.
Turns out most of the world was a horrible place to live as a vampire, according to her research. It was pure dumb luck that she had managed to be turned in the rainiest city in America, if she had been turned somewhere in Texas or something then the gig would be up almost immediately.
Anywhere that wasn't Seattle would be nice at least.
But… the thought of leaving without at least seeing Charlie put something uneasy in her stomach. She had been debating with it since she had remembered where he lived, the entire reason she was in Seattle was because of Charlie for fucks sake.
She could at least visit him, he was just a short walk away anyway he was the sheriff of Forks, or something. So, go visit him, then go to Finland or something and live there.
What was the worst that could happen?
[][][][]Alice[][][][] (This is basically the beginning right here)
It was with a self-satisfied (and unnecessary) sigh, that Bella finally left her now empty apartment. It wasn't easy pawning off literally everything she owned, and their had been more than a few raised eyebrows at the contents of what she was willing to sell. She kept a few things, her clothes for one, and a backpack full of human blood for another.
Well, not just blood itself they were in blood bags of course, there wasn't just thirteen and a half litres of blood sitting in her backpack sloshing around. Her lips quirked at the silly thought but promptly frowned when she had to swallow the venom that had begun pooling in her mouth
All this blood thinking was making her thirsty.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts before turning and walking down the side walk.
People instinctually moved out of her way, uneasy in the presence of their natural predator. Bella ignored it, she was used to the fear that glinted in people's eyes when they saw her, how they shuffled out of her way when walking without really knowing why. It was preferable to getting knocked around like a pinball anyway.
Seattle was charming like that.
She sighed again when a few raindrops started to spill over her coat.
Rain in Seattle, who would have guessed?
She walked briskly down the slowly wetting pavement, the thuds of her boots only noticeable to her enhanced hearing over the noise of the city and the rain. Her long coat flapped around the steadily harsher breeze.
She sighed, again.
If there was one thing about being a vampire that she was sure of, it was that it would be exciting. That statement was true, mostly, for the first four months. But then everything went to shit real fast, turns out having no goals other than surviving was a bad way to live. She needed change, fast.
The song 'Wish you were here' popped into her head causing her to smile softly, it was her favourite and she couldn't relate to it more if she tried.
The song started to bubble on her lips as she walked down the street, her soft smile was a full blown grin as she spotted her quarry.
Her Uber.
She opened up the door to the car and promptly sat in, flashing a smile to the female driving as she did so. The poor women didn't know how to exactly react, on the one hand she was annoyed at the brazen nature of the young girl sitting in the back, on the other hand that smile may as well had been a spotlight shining directly at her. She was dazed to say the least.
"uh… Miss swanson?"
Bella couldn't help the giggle she gave at the dumb expression that sat on her drivers face.
"That's right!" she chirped at the slowly reddening women. Said driver nodded again dumbly before turning back to her wheel.
Bella felt bad for her, she really did. She was fully aware the effect she had on people in close proximity to her. It was far too easy to mess with them like this anyway, she took pity on her.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked the driver gently.
She turned around in her seat, eyes wide, face a deep beetroot red, as she realised the mistake she had committed.
Bella giggled again.
She was really thankful for the blood she had gorged herself on before she left, the drivers blush probably would have been making her… irritated, if she hadn't had it. She winked at the near comatose driver and silently payed her fee.
The driver was cute, if a bit rough. A mid-twenties something women who probably held down two jobs just to feed herself. Her face had the weathered kind of look that you only got when you've live an unhappy life, but it also held its fair share of smile lines. A lived-in face, as it was.
Bella found herself envying it.
"Forks please, somewhere in the town if you can"
The driver nodded jerkily at her and pulled the car out onto the road, starting on their way towards Forks. There wasn't any more conversation after that, the driver was content to not make a fool of herself even more, while Bella lost herself deep within her thoughts.
She wondered what Charlie was doing, he was probably sitting in his house drinking and watching some football reruns. She quirked her lips at the thought, the gruff, distant father was never far from her thoughts. For some reason, she seemed to remember her time with her father much clearer then with her mother, she didn't know if it was because of her closer nature to him or simply luck of the draw.
She looked out the window to watch the cityscape pass them, they were starting to hit the outer limits of the city by this point.
She needed to focus, she was just going to check up on Charlie and then she was getting out of this city and possibly, even this country.
So why were you taking an Uber in?
She internally scowled at the thought, it would have been slightly suspicious if a blur just took of out of Seattle. Besides, she needed some time to process her plans, and a nice relaxing car drive was exactly what she needed to think about what she was doing next.
Right now though, she needed to focus.
"We're fifteen minutes away, miss" The car driver informed her, her eyes pointedly not looking at her mirror were Bella would inevitably be.
Bella smirked and closed her eyes, preparing herself.
She had someone she needed to see.
[][][][]Alice[][][][]
Authors note boi's
So, this is the second story I'm bringing out and I promise, it is a better love story than twilight.
So yeah, I listened to a lot of Pink Floyd when writing this so if you see some weird and abrupt sentences, then just blame it on the muse my peeps.
So basically, Bella is Living in Seattle for a bit, she's nineteen I think? I don't know if I mentioned her age or not so there ya go. She never went to live with charlie before the end of her schooling, also slightly AU Bella but whatevs.
I am attempting a slightly more lighter tone in this little fic as you can see, i don't know if i'm funny enough to actually change the tag to humor so that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Also, the chapters are going to be 4-5k instead of Lovely minds which will have a minimum of 3k. These limits are important as they stop me from just writing these stories forever.
I dream of Alice will be a AlicexBella fic as the name implies. I'll also be attempting to dive into the psychology of Vampires and stuff because it interests me. It would make sense if the mind changed just like the body did, so that you wouldn't be going insane from killing people you were taught to empathise with.
Does this mean Bella is a Psychopath? No, but it does mean she has a predator rational, she can rationalise her killings beforehand cause food and stuff.
Does this mean Bella is a bad person? No, she's just angsty.
Will she be like this all the time? Nope, her Empathy hasn't fully come back, technically she's still a Newborn so that's affecting her mind, the fact she can reflect on her emotions proves she isn't crazy or a murderer person.
Are all Vampires like this at first? Wouldn't you like to know
Is there timetravel or not? Yes, but give it maybe… 4 chapters?
Now Lovely minds news
For all the three people who actually want me to update that fic, you are in luck. I will be updating that fic in the next couple of days, hopefully.
Now, I'm not an amazing writer by any means, but I do like writing as it calms me down. So bearing that in mind, don't be surprised if it takes me a while to update these stories.
I should have a schedule going soon though, but at the very least I will update at least one of my stories per month.
What can I say though, I guess I'm just better than the Moon.
BETA'S PLEASE I LOVE YOU ALL.
i'm Australian so no, Colour is not spelt Color. FCK off M8