03/11/01

Calvin places the camera down on his living room's coffee table, hesitantly taking a couple steps back.

"That... should be enough distance. No one's, uh, home right now except me so… I can film out here without any unwanted… questions or interruptions." He chuckles a bit, running his hands down over his wrinkled t-shirt before sliding into a wicker chair that's pressed up against a lavender colored wall.

He sighs once, looking expectantly out the window to his left.

"I've been thinking about Zero Day... more specifically what'll happen after it. I… I feel kinda sad for the rest of you that get to stay here. Not... because of the reasons you think, most likely." He scoffs, a grin that almost seems sympathetic slides across his lips, his eyes remain serious, however, focused.

"But because you're gonna keep living with your flawed system since... you fail to realize that the grey line between what's deemed morally right and wrong is thin. And," Propping his elbow up on the arm of his chair, he twists his hand like you would if you were twisting the volume knob on a car radio. "if you tweak the circumstances... it becomes even thinner. Eventually, non-existent."

Calvin's quiet then, scratching the back of his head and bringing one leg up to his chest, resting it on the chair with him. He runs his fingers against the torn strands of denim on his ripped jeans.

"You can, y'know, dehumanize us to dissociate yourselves from Andre and I. Call us, like, monsters and shit." A bout of laughter sneaks past him at the thought of earning such a title, nervousness colliding with excitement. "It's not gonna make a difference. At the end of the day, no matter how much you try to run from it, we're the same species. Nothing will ever change that. We're human." Just smarter, more evolved; He leaves out. "And I think- I hope when this is all over… you remember that. You'll try to shut it out, but we're still human… Andre and I… all of you."

Trailing off at the end of his sentence, condescension coats his tongue. He speaks to the camera like he would to a classroom during presentations where he'd stand in front of the other students and the empty desks that almost circled him in, it was suffocating. Thirty pairs of eyes on him and snide giggles that were barely audible over his own stuttering. It made him want to rip their larynxes clean out their throats. Once they were gone and the tapes were finally released, he doubted anyone would be laughing.

"Throughout history… there are multiple examples of sacrifices that had to be made for the greater good. Andre always says 'to build you must first destroy'. The more I think about Zero Day and the closer it gets... the stronger my faith in it becomes. This is what has to happen. Don't… throw away the opportunity we're giving you. Improve yourselves, your lives. 'Cause whether you choose to or not… it's not gonna affect me… or Andre. We're gonna be far, far away from this place."

Stopping himself, he smiles then, and this one is genuine. Losing himself momentarily in the strangely comforting uncertainty of what will come after Zero Day for Andre and himself, speeding into oblivion head-first. Leaving not only school, but Earth itself, and going out with a fucking bang. They were going to make their mark, and there was no one other than Andre he would rather die alongside, more importantly, no one else he could.

Calvin tears his eyes away from the camera lens. Unable to keep his hands off his face, he picks at a flake of dry skin that hangs off his bottom lip, careful to not make himself bleed.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway is heard, and in the corner of the window, the yellow glow of front lights flashing can be seen.

Solemnity washes over him once more, but there's a newfound underlying exhaustion he doesn't remember starting out with. He contemplates the words he'll finish this suddenly cut short diary entry with.

Standing up, he walks over to the table he's placed the camera on top off, leaning forward to speak once more before ending the recording:

"You're the ones that get to stay behind. So change for your own sake."

AN: Honestly, I signed up just to write Zero Day stories since the ZD archive is lacking and it makes me feel… some type of way. "Sometimes to create, one must first destroy." is a quote from the movie Prometheus that was released long after Zero Day but it struck me as something Andre would say, although the word 'build' instead of 'create' in this case seemed more fitting to me. Thank you for reading. Reviews are always appreciated.