A/N: This is just a little something I'm writing because I have writer's block with my other story (again) and I'm feeling really sappy and lonely. I have no idea how it's going to turn out, so read at your own risk. It takes place immediately after graduation.
Disclaimer: Not mine, and unfortunately, never will be…I can only wish to be so brilliant. Oh, and the title was taken from a song by Michelle Branch.
Goodbye to You
She had tried to talk to him about this before. She would sit for hours and think about it, finally resolving that this time would be it; she would end it. For good. It made her feel sad, yet relieved, all at once.
Then, she would go to tell him.
This made her wish desperately that the wizarding world used telephones, because seeing him and looking into his eyes made it nearly impossible to say what needed to be said. She would stumble over her words as she told him it needed to end. She knew she sounded scared and weak, but she had never been very good at hiding her emotions. She would always break down eventually, sobbing onto his shoulder, so angry at herself. He would rock her and kiss her hair, telling her that it was okay, he wasn't going anywhere. It was no use…he always brought her down from her determined high with his soft kisses and soothing voice. And then, she was right back where she'd started, falling all over again.
Not this time. She was ready this time; strong. After the things that had happened in the past few weeks…how close her worst fears had come to becoming reality…she knew this time it was for real. Things between them had to be over, and she had to leave him.
It wasn't that she didn't love him…that wasn't it at all. Words couldn't express the oceans of feelings she had for him. When she kissed him, she felt like her entire life, everything she had done up until then, had been leading to that exact moment, as if she was put on earth just for that. She was meant to be with him, and him alone. Maybe knowing that was why she needed things to end at all. If she could end it, she could leave and never look back. She wouldn't have to worry, just wonder. Wonder about what could have been. She would never have to be there to watch him fall. The thought of being so happy with him, then having it all taken from her in an instant was more than she could bear. She wouldn't survive that.
She stood from the floor and brushed off her long, black robes. She gazed one last time out the window, at the stars, like diamonds scattered across the inky sky. Then, she turned and walked out of the owlery, her heart heavy but firm.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hannah Abbot."
The golden haired girl walked to the front of the hall amidst applause, much of which was coming from the Hufflepuff table, her face radiant. She shook hands with the teachers, one by one, then took the roll of parchment from the headmaster. She walked to the other side of the line, the first in what would be a large crowd of graduated seventh years.
"Susan Bones."
"Terry Boot."
Hermione tapped her foot, waiting for her name to be called. With every person who went up, another butterfly was added to her stomach.
"Lavender Brown."
The Gryffindors cheered as the pretty brunette walked through the line, the first Gryffindor of their class to receive her diploma.
"Millicent Blustrode."
"Justin Finch-Fletchley."
"Seamus Finnigan."
Again, the Gryffindors cheered their friend, although Hermione remained rather subdued. She knew her name was next.
"Hermione Granger."
She stood on shaking legs and walked to the line of professors, shaking each of their hands respectively. When she got to the end, Professor Dumbledore handed her a scroll of parchment.
"Congratulations, Miss Granger," he whispered to her. "You should be very proud."
Hermione smiled weakly and walked to the side. By the time she joined the growing group, several names had been called since hers.
"Neville Longbottom."
Neville stood and walked towards the front, and Hermione clapped furiously for him. He tripped and stumbled a bit on his robes, but the snickers from the Slytherin table were muffled by the applause.
"Morag McDougal."
"Draco Malfoy."
Draco stood and walked towards the front, his face paler than usual, although it had been lately, and for good reason. Hermione clapped for him as he went through the line, her heart going out to him. Even though they had never really gotten along, he had recently proven that he did, indeed, have a soul.
Hermione stared off into space, thinking of what was going to happen after graduation that night. She felt ill just thinking about it, but she knew it had to be done if she was ever going to have peace. Once it was over, she'd never have to worry about it again…but she had to get through it first.
"Harry Potter."
Hermione was jolted from her thoughts, and she clapped as her best friend walked to the front of the hall, getting the loudest applause yet. She grinned, despite her anxiety, as Harry embraced Professor Black, then Professor Dumbledore. He then walked over to her, a lopsided grin on his face, and pulled her close. Hermione felt tears spring into her eyes as the full weight of what today meant for them, all of them, came down on her. It was the end of so much, but also the beginning.
"Dean Thomas."
"Lisa Turpin."
"Ronald Weasley."
He stood and walked from the Gryffindor table, grinning broadly. His blue eyes sparkled as he went through the professors. When he got his diploma from the headmaster, he turned and held it in front of him so that his mother, who was sitting at the Gryffindor table, could snap a photo. Then he turned to the group and walked to Hermione, grinning at her as he kissed her cheek.
Hermione smiled on the outside, biting her tongue and trying desperately to concentrate on that pain instead of on the pain in her heart. This was going to be harder than she'd thought.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hermione, dear, we are so proud," said Mrs. Granger as she beamed at her daughter. "I can't believe you're all done with school."
"That was my proudest moment," said Mr. Granger, as he snapped a photo of Hermione.
Hermione smiled weakly at her parents. "Thank you," she said feebly. She didn't know what else to say. She had always thought her graduation would be the most gratifying day of her life, but her mind was elsewhere at the moment. She couldn't enjoy her accomplishment.
Suddenly, Hermione jumped. A pair of arms had wrapped around her slim waist, and she turned her head to find she was an inch from Ron's face.
"Are we a little jumpy?" he asked, his eyes glittering mischievously.
She laughed nervously. "You just startled me, that's all."
"I'm sorry," he whispered. She shivered as his warm breath hit her ear.
Stay strong, Hermione
"Smile, you two!"
Hermione looked up just in time to see a flash. Her father had just taken a picture of her and Ron. This was too much. Now she would have that moment in a picture forever.
Hermione turned to face Ron and took his hand. "We need to talk. Can we go somewhere and be alone."
Ron lifted his eyebrow. "Of course," he said, smiling at her.
Damn him. Why does he have to do that? Doesn't he realize he's going to get hurt?
She felt as if a fist had clenched around her heart. He was going to get hurt, and she was the one hurting him. She didn't want to hurt him. She loved him more than anything. But this had to be done.
The two of them walked down the corridor and around the corner. They traveled down several more, then ducked into an empty classroom.
"I wanted to talk to you, too," said Ron when he had shut the door behind him.
"Well, let me go first," said Hermione. She knew it sounded rude, but if she didn't do this now, she was going to lose her nerve.
Ron nodded. "Okay."
Hermione sat on top of one of the desks in the front row. She took a deep breath.
Here goes. Time to drop the bomb.
"I can't be with you anymore," she blurted out. Immediately after she had said it, she regretted the way it had come out…rushed and cold.
Ron's mouth dropped open slightly, and he stared at her for a few moments. Then, he spoke.
"I thought you were done with this," he said quietly. "I thought after last time, you had decided not to worry anymore. You said you just wanted to be happy."
"But I'm not happy," Hermione whispered.
"I don't make you happy?" Ron asked, his eyes hurt.
"No!" Hermione cried. "It's not that. Not at all…I love you, Ron."
Ron stared at her, his eyes confused. "Then what's the problem? I don't understand…" He broke off, biting his lower lip.
"Ron," she said quietly, willing him mentally to understand. "You're everything to me. You're my heart…I wake up every morning for you, and I feel like everything is perfect when I'm with you." She paused. "And that's why I can't be with you."
Ron looked angry now. "Huh?" he said. "You're making absolutely no sense."
She knew that, of course. She was trying so hard to explain this to him, but she couldn't seem to get it out. "I can't be with you because you're my entire life, and I can't bear to lose you. If I lose you, my life is over. I can't let that happen, Ron. I can't depend on you like that, because your life is so fragile right now."
Ron's face changed from anger to realization. "This is about the things that have been happening, isn't it? Harry and I going to fight Voldemort. Right?"
Hermione nodded, grinding her teeth and willing away the tears in her eyes.
"Hermione, nothing is going to happen to me," he said, walking to her and cupping her chin in his hand. He looked right into her eyes. "I promise."
Hermione looked away and stared at the ceiling, trying not to cry. "Don't, Ron. Don't try to change my mind about this. I've already decided. We can't be together." She looked at him again. "I can't bear to lose everything like that. This is better."
"Hermione, how can this be better. If I were to die, (Hermione flinched at this) then we couldn't be together, you're right. But why not make the most of what we have? Who cares about the future? We should make the most of what we are right now."
Hermione let the tears fall down her face. "I've made up my mind, Ron. It's over. You can't change things this time." She looked away from him because his eyes were welling with tears, and she couldn't stand it. She walked past him to the door. When she got there, she turned to him one last time. "I do love you."
He said nothing.
"Goodbye, Ron." She walked out of the room.
Ron sat down on the desk in disbelief. How had this day turned from one of excitement and joy to the worst in his life. He reached into his robe pocket, tears falling down his pale cheeks, and clutched at the little velvet box inside. If only she had let him go first…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: OOOOHHHH!!!! That was so much fun to write, so I hope you guys like it. I was only going to make this a one entry deal, but now I kind of have a plot planned out, so tell me if you want to continue. I was thinking maybe a few years later. Please read and review!!!!