Tears and Rain

This is taken from mainly Emma's POV (unless stated otherwise) its about what she thinks and feels during her break up with Matt. Anything in bold is being spoken otherwise its just what's going on in her head.

"Shit" i thought to herself as i saw Matt was drunk. This isn't going to be easy but if he's drunk its going to be damn near impossible. He was talking to me but I'm not really listening. I hear myself answer a reply but it felt somewhat difference like it was my head not my heart talking. As i made way upstairs to have a bath i feel a wave of dread fly over me. As i take off my clothes and lower myself into the bath i feel the hot salty tears run down my face.

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;

As i watched the last of the water drain out of the bath part of me wished it could suck me up and drown my sorrows. I pick up a white fluffy towel and wrap it round myself. Then i pick up a smaller towel and wipe away the tears off my face. I put it back on the towel drier to dry. I slowly and quietly padded into mine and Matt's bedroom. I pull out some "lounge casuals" out of the drawer and slipped them on before tying my hair loosely in a bun. Now more than ever i wish that I hadn't married Matt. A marriage built from guilt and lies. What was i thinking, when was that ever going to work.

I think about packing a bag but decide against it after all I can come an get my stuff later-maybe when I'm in uniform with a colleague, he'll never dare hurt me if someone's there.

I tread cautiously downstairs and pause slightly before the end-this is it. I make a dash for it-

"what are you doing"

"I'm leaving you"

"no, your not going anywhere"

My whole body tense's as he flings me forcefully across the room. When he turns to face me I see danger burn in his eyes.


See the liar that burns within my needing.

He comes towards me and I try not to cower in his presence, but after over half a year of abuse, lies and manipulation I'm no longer the strong assertive person I once was, I'm scared. I'm walking backwards but he's still walking toward me. I try to push him away but I don't have the strength. He pushes me back. He roughly grabs onto my collar and twists his hands. I feel it tighten around my throat as I start to choke. I'm knocking stuff of the shelves but I don't care he's coming up with nonsense. I can feel my head becoming lighter. He pushes me towards a side board and I pull the runner of. He pulls me to the floor. I hear Will and Smithy at the door, but its to late I cant hold on any longer. I stretch my fingers for the empty vodka bottle just as they push down the door. Using the last of my strength I hit him with the bottle. He grasp loosens but as he pulls closer I hit him again. He falls to the floor.


How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

Smithy leads Will into the lounge. I stagger back shocked at what I've done. Will comes behind me as Smithy calls for an ambulance. He holds out his arms as I fall into them. I briefly hear Smithy but I'm beyond grief-what I'm feeling now, I think its rivalling death.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Tears and Rain.

Tears and Rain.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Once the ambulance had gone and scenes of crimes arrived Smithy comes over to me and Will. We were in the kitchen and Will was leant against the fridge and I was leant into him the tears still streaming down my face. I feel weak and betrayed.

"Emma" to begin with I don't notice him, "Em" I look up at him.

Smithy's POV

God, I can't do this to her. I know she's innocent. I know she's not like that. I can't look into her eyes-I fear for the hurt I'll see in her eyes. She seemed so strong, but underneath she was crumbling. Its like a candle that's lost its flame.

"Emma Keane, I arresting you on suspicion of Attempted Murder" I see her eyes glaze over as the tears begin to pour more freely. I can see Will tighten his grip protectively around her "you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you will later rely on in court, anything you do say may be given in evidence." I hear her fall to the floor and see Will bend down to comfort her, "I'm sorry Emma"