Soaked in tears and sealed with a kiss

by Animedemon01

NekozawaxOC. You can't change the past. You can't bring him back. All you can do is reflect on what happened, and what you should have done instead. One-shot. Sister story "Because of myself" is now up.

It was his fault. Umehito deserved what I did to him. He snapped my heart in two like, like a child with his sibling's playthings.

He said he loved me. He said he cared. But then he broke me.

"I'm sorry, but we have to end this. I-we can't continue this anymore, its, its wrong."

"What? But-but we are perfect for each other. I love you."

Those were the best five month of my life. Sneaking out of classes just to be together, kissing in the dark, and making love by candlelight in the dark corners of his bedroom. Yes, Ume taught me to never judge a book by its cover, because a dark-looking, broken-spined book might just contain the story you're looking for.

After the breakup, it angered me to even look at Umehito, much less talk to him. This brings me back to a conversation we had about a month ago, one week after we had that fallout.

"You freak! You hurt me! Now I will hurt you!"

"I'm sorry, as much as I wish we could be together, we j-just can't."

"I'll kill you, Nekozawa! Kill, kill, kill."

That was the first time I called him Nekozawa in a while, and I knew, deep down inside his heart, that it pained him to hear me call him by his last name.

One day, about three months ago I snapped. If I couldn't have Umehito, nobody could have him. I brought my knife to school and stabbed him. Once he passed out from loss of blood, students and teachers alike pried me off of him. After he was taken away in an ambulance, I was shoved in the back of a squad car. They took me to the police station, where they took mug shots and locked me up until my father came to get me. Two hours and 200000 yen later, instead of ten years in prison, I ended up with one year house arrest.

About a month ago, I was reading a newspaper and a certain article caught my eye.

Nekozawa Umehito, age 18 commits suicide.

It said that his sister died on the same day I tried to kill him. He couldn't take all the emotional pain, so after he left the hospital; he overdosed on his anti-depressants and was found dead on the floor of his bedroom by a maid.

It's my fault Umehito killed himself. I should have seen how he was hurting and helped him through it. I am a heartless monster.

Tonight I will join him, if we end up going to the same place that is. That's why I write this letter, soaked in tears and sealed with a kiss.