Let Fate Decide

Part 1

By Kyizi

Disclaimer:  They belong to a man and a bunch of writers that are determined to leave me in fits of tears at the end of each series…they haven't failed yet! The only thing that belongs to me is the story and a few minor characters.

Rating: 12, I guess.

Spoilers: To be safe I'd say that every ep in S1, S2 and S3 would be in danger of being spoiled in this fic! Nothing is safe I tell you, nothing!

Notes: Okay, that's me just caught up on all the episodes of S3 which I have had on tape for a few weeks (can I just say OHMYGOD!), and, as with the S2 finale, I wasn't going to be happy until I'd written a continuation of the season finale! I've skipped ahead a few months, but anything you need to know was in the last ep, all I've done is take them a little further on their "missions" so to speak.

This fic will focus on John's POV more than the others but I will be using every crew member…except Crais *sob* ;)

Feedback: As always, I love feedback. This fic is a particular favourite of mine, so be gentle! If you have some constructive criticism, I'd like to hear it, and if you enjoy it, don't hesitate to let me know!

Email: kyizi@hotmail.com

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John

~x~x~x~x~x~

A baby. Aeryn was having a baby. His baby. He was going to be a father, but he wouldn't be there. Aeryn had taken that chance away from him. She had left him, taken his child, and gone. They had left fate to decide and it had taken the love of his life and his child away from him. Why? Why would it do that? Why would Aeryn let it? She was having his baby.

John wandered through the streets, glancing occasionally at the passing aliens. He had been thinking of people as aliens a lot over the past few months. He had been watching them and he could not see them as anything else. Would not see them as anything else. Only an alien world, an alien life could take Aeryn and their baby away from him. At first he had blamed her. He wished he had never had those feelings but he couldn't help it. She had left him. She had to have known about the child; she had to. And she'd taken away his chance at being a father.

Sure, he realised that he may not have been the one she created the child with, but that child was his. If those few weeks on Talyn had been his, then so would the child. But that John was him, a few weeks didn't change that. Couldn't change that. He was going to be a father and this alien universe had taken it from him.

Turning the corner, he spotted what he was looking for. He took a deep breath and moved his head from side to side, clicking his neck. Squaring up his shoulders, he walked slowly down the street. It was like any other that he had been in over the last few months. Nothing seemed different, from the numerous stalls right down to the toothless old alien on the corner, grinning eerily at the passers-by, ready to steal one away and take them into the seedy underworld of whatever planet he was on. He had learned to ignore it. He walked straight towards the seedy bar and entered.

The dim lighting had not changed much and he felt himself shudder at the knowledge of what he was doing, the memories all assaulting him at the same time. He had held her in his arms in this place, had watched her changing before him, praying that she would live to be in his arms again. He shook away the memories with a jerk of his head and walked up to the bar.

"Hey," he said, smiling sadly at the woman. She recognised him instantly and her eyes widened. She looked different, as if this was the way she was supposed to be, the way she was meant to look, she was at peace with herself.

And she may want to stay that way, did you ever think of that? John refused to listen to him. Harvey seemed to take increasing pleasure in annoying him, using the wound that Aeryn's absence had created as an open injury. The thing that annoyed him the most was that Harvey was simply becoming the voice in his head that told him the truth. The little voice that had always been there, but he had refused to listen to. It was the voice that told you that you were ugly, that no one liked you…and often the voice that told you what you knew was true. Well, now Harvey had taken that roll in his head, and John knew it.

Go away, Harvey, she'll help.

If you say so, Crichton. But just think what it might do to her, to bring back those memories you're asking her to find. Ask yourself if you can live with ruining her peace of mind, just so that you can find yours. With a 'pop' Harvey was gone. He'd have to ask how the clone had managed to come up with that.

"You have returned."

John looked back at the woman, shaking his thoughts away. He smiled at her, although he knew it would never reach his eyes. That happiness was gone. That happiness was with Aeryn and the baby. As if sensing that his thoughts were troubled and he had something important to say, the woman nodded her head to the doorway behind him and he readily followed.

Upon entering the room, John noticed the changes immediately. He had entered her home and it was so completely different from the last time he had been there. The room was brightly decorated, a dark pink colouring the walls, basking the room in a cheery glow. There was a small curve in the wall, that John realised was a fireplace of sorts. The woman flicked a switch and a deep orange glow erupted from the small circular object at the centre of it.

The rest of the room was sparsely filled, only some chairs and a table near the fire. There was a small kitchen at the opposite end of the room and an open doorway to a small bedroom. In the far corner, in another small room, he spotted his reason for being here, his reason for being of late. His only goal had been to get here, to find her. And he had.

She offered him a seat on one of the comfortable chairs and he sat down on the end of it, as if refusing to get comfortable would make this easier, would make him more at ease with himself for asking her to do it. He was sure that, although the room was there, she no longer used her equipment for the same reason that she used to…for the same reason that he was about to ask her to use it for.

"I need your help."

"I know." The woman nodded her head. She had followed his gaze, had watched his eyes drinking up the vision before them and she had known. In the pit of her stomach she had felt it, had known that her past was rearing its ugly head, and all she wanted to do was shoot it. However, this man had helped her get her life back, to make her life better, she owed him her help, regardless of what it meant to her. She would help him…and he knew it.

~x~x~x~x~x~

John groaned and looked across the room. This wasn't going the way he had hoped, this wasn't happening the way he wanted it to. It was all taking too long and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand this. Aeryn would be over 3 months pregnant by now. He smiled at that thought. He could imagine her grumping and groaning about her morning sickness…if she was getting morning sickness, and cravings and…

He sighed. Human pregnancies were bad enough (so he'd heard) but a half human, half sebecean pregnancy? He had no idea what it would be like. And neither had Aeryn when she had left. She was facing something completely new and she was all alone. He should be finding out about whether or not she had morning sickness, cravings, mood swings…he should be there now, helping her, being her punching bag.

Knowing Aeryn, that'd be a literal punching bag, he laughed at the thought but quickly sobered. He was not with her. Instead he was here. He was spending all his time trying to find her. Wondering how she was, wondering if she was alone, happy, scared…alive.

He shook his thoughts away, she was alive and he would find her. It was the only way he could get through the day, the only way he could live with himself. He was as alone as she was, and he was fine. If there was one thing that he could always be sure of with Aeryn, it was her strength. She was a lot stronger than he was and there was no way that she would be anything but alive and healthy. Just like the baby she was protecting. Their baby.

With that new thought in mind and a stronger determination, he jumped down from the table he was perched on. He walked across the room towards her and peered over her shoulder at the vial she held in her hands. He had no idea what to expect, no idea what on earth she was doing. But he did know what she had in the vial. It was Aeryn's blood. The same blood that Nam'Tar had taken when he was experimenting on Aeryn with Pilot's DNA. And it was that which would save him. It was with this that he would find her again.

"Crichton, I am unsure as to what you intend to gain by watching me over my shoulder."

"Nothin'. I'm just keeping myself out of trouble, Kornata."

"Then would you kindly keep yourself out of trouble elsewhere? I am trying to help you, but it will be difficult to do so if you insist on watching me."

He smirked, "Right, gotcha. I'm just gonna go stretch my legs then. I'll be back later."

"As you wish." She replied and turned her head back to her work.

Laughing as his thoughts wandered to giants and sword fighting, John wandered out of the house and into the adjoining bar. He waved a hello at Neera, the young woman tending bar since Kornata had begun to help him, and headed to the door, all the time unaware that he was being watched.

~x~x~x~x~x~

END PART 1

Well? Please let me know what you think. I already have the entire story planned out, and the next two parts are written, but I'd still appreciate some feedback on how you like the fic :)