AN: Don't ask, it's a Ghost/Veritas thing. One thing became another and I spawned this. Please leave a review again.
Title: Just Another Day in the Neighbourhood
Word Count: 1K
Written By: Zadi
Summary: Come to Casper Town. It's a lovely place built over hell, crisscrossed ley lines, and the meaning of life. The inhabitants are just as charming: A sweet old lady that knows how to destroy everything we care for, a mad scientist that may or may not be responsible for the dwindling pet population, an assassin that is…er…something, a PI that seems to be stuck in the noire-times, and pets that can communicate on a human-like level.
We bring smiles, a carnival, and murder.
Care to stay?
Chapter One: In Which We Introduce
Not to be rude, but what in the name of Zeus are you people talking about?
—Plug
The day started in Casper Town with some purple prose about the sun rising. It's only mentioned because it has some weird foreshadowing subtext. Maybe it could be about the dead bodies in the bottom of the lake? How the dead wake up in cemeteries at night? Or it could be nothing at all, and only the narrator trying too hard.
Nah, it's nothing.
Really.
Welcome, though.
We have a mad scientist (ignore the loud explosions), an old lady that holds the key to our destruction (please be nice to her), an assassin that uses her pets to help (yes, they talk), and a PI with a flare for tradition.
Is that everyone?
Well, there is that mad English professor on Mulberry Hill, but do speak in proper words and correct grammar. If you don't, a thesaurus will be aimed at you head. Some say the professor's thesauruses have soul-erasing properties, but this rumour is unsubstantiated.
Anyway, to get back to the point, it was a lovely morning. Perhaps too chilly, but the sun was out and everyone was still asleep. A car was parked near some bushes. The dark vehicle looked very out of place in such a quaint area. The houses were painted cheerful colours and the flowers were blooming. Yes, the car did look very obvious.
The owner of the car is the town's best (and only) PI, Zadi Kim.
She doesn't matter much right now, but she is taking pictures of the House With a Gargoyle on the Porch, and the House That Looks Warped in the Light.
"There's no logic behind this," she rumbled, barely noting her subconscious clinging to sanity by hardened fingernails, "It's like the entire town was made in a fit of particular madness by the inhabitants of a psych ward." The brunette observed in a monotone, "Or possibly one of those Internet forums."
The fourth wall was quickly fixed.
An iguana slithered out of a different house that was conveniently located in the shadows. A red tongue flickered out and tasted the air. She stuck her tongue back in and made a face. Ugh, the air tasted like morons. Ro the iguana crawled over to the dark car, her scales flashing in the light.
The PI didn't noticed and went on taking pictures. She had gotten several complaints about the three houses. But the one with the shadows gave her the wiggens, so she decided to do a stake out for the other two. "I'll say," she said to herself. "What's with this town?"
Just the other day another dead body washed up from Lake Inky. Mayor Fourohfour denied the waiver to send scuba divers down to find more. It was the eighth body this month, after all. And there was talk about cats missing, vampires in Pleasant Graveyard, and the apocalypse.
But those could all be considered small talk, and of the usual.
There is nothing to see here.
The owner of house WaGotP was reported to be a mad scientist. Zadi thought she read the paper wrong, because the house certainly didn't look like one owned it. Its bright walls, carefully trimmed hedges, and the happy birdfe—
Well, now it was looking suspicious.
House TLWitL, owned by a lovely old lady, who could always be seen knitting and polishing a large key, that, reportedly, has been in her family for ages.
The house in the shadows was still a mystery. Zadi did not want to go near it.
Of course, there was talk about the three houses, what talk there was. When the PI went to the Town Hall, she had gotten a headache looking at the marriage records and birth certificates. Nothing made sense. It seemed like one large incestuous family.
Why, that couldn't be true in this day in age.
Only in Mars, but not here in Earth.
Marry me…
Zadi jumped in her seat, the top of her head hitting the ceiling of her small car. Swearing, she looked around to see where the voice came from. There was only no one, and an iguana staring at her.
No! Marry me, please… A different voice said.
Zadi rolled her eyes and mouthed the word no.
Then everything repeated.
Zadi blinked.
Then everything repeated.
Zadi coughed.
Ro the iguana frowned. What was the point of being able to control time when the PI never reacted properly? Sighing, it went back to its owner; the old lay, and had fun causing her to repeat the same activities over, and over again.
The day continued and everything was purple prose and fine. The fourth wall cracked near the bookstore and where some teenagers were at the movies, but those were fixed. Birds chirped, a zombie got beheaded, and someone ran into the police station shouting about a psychotic bunny.
In a different part of town where the Professor resided, something relevant happened. His large house was filled with books and a network of computers. The tiny number of people that were invited inside often said that it reminded them of the Apple Store.
He jumped in glee as he read the chapters of his musty book. He slammed it shut, and dust exploded skywards. Such wonderful knowledge he found about interdimensional time travel theory. All he needed was a blue police box! Then several of his computer monitors informed him that he had mail by way of a loud PING. He opened Mail and read the newest message aloud, before frowning in astonishment.
"Zadi published what?"
In another dimension, a girl that looked oddly like Zadi Kim cradled her head in her hands. Her computer monitor had the familiar site of Fanfiction(.)net up, the message confirming about her published work displayed before her.
"Hell's bell," she muttered, leaning back in her chair, whilst slowly cleaning her glasses. "What have I just done?"